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The
True Muslim Woman :: المرآة
المسلمة
الحقّ
The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society
When it comes to Islamic
duties, the Muslim woman is just like a
man: she has a mission in life, and so
she is required to be as effective,
active and social as her particular
circumstances and capabilities allow,
mixing with other women as much as she
can and dealing with them in accordance
with the worthy Islamic attitudes and
behaviour that distinguish her from
other women.
Wherever the Muslim
woman is found, she becomes a beacon of
guidance, and a positive source of
correction and education, through both
her words and her deeds.
The Muslim woman who
has been truly guided by the Qur'an and
Sunnah has a refined social personality
of the highest degree, which qualifies
her to undertake her duty of calling
other women to Islam, opening their
hearts and minds to the guidance of this
great religion which elevated the status
of women at a remarkably early stage in
their history and furnished them with a
vast range of the best of
characteristics which are outlined in
the Qur'an and Sunnah. Islam has made
the acquisition of these characteristics
a religious duty for which a person will
be rewarded, and will be called to
account if he or she fails to attain
them. These texts succeeded in making
the personality of the woman who is
sincere towards Allah (SWT) into a
brilliant example of the decent, chaste,
polite, God-fearing, refined, sociable
woman.
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam
stands out in every women's gathering
she attends, as she demonstrates the
true values of her religion and the
practical application of those values by
her attaining of those worthy
attributes. The make-up of her distinct
social character represents a huge store
of those Islamic values, which can be
seen in her social conduct and dealings
with people. From this rich, pure
source, the Muslim woman draws her own
customs, habits and ways of dealing with
others and she cleanses her soul and
forms her own Muslim, social personality
from the same source.
She has a good
attitude towards others
and treats them
well
The Muslim woman is of
good and noble character, friendly,
humble, gentle of speech and tactful.
She likes others and is liked by them.
By doing so, she is following the
example of the Prophet (PBUH) who, as
his servant Anas (RAA) reported, was
"the best of people in his attitude
towards others."1
Anas (RAA) saw more
than anyone else of the Prophet's good
attitude, and witnessed such good
attitudes that no-one could imagine it
existed in any human being. He told us
of one aspect of that noble attitude of
the Prophet (PBUH):
"I served the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) for ten
years, and he never said to me `Uff!'
(The smallest word of contempt). If I
did anything, he never said, `Why did
you do that?' And if I did not do
something, he never said, `Why did you
not do such-and-such?'"2
The Prophet (PBUH) was of
the best character, as Allah (SWT) said:
( And you [stand] on
an exalted standard of character.) (Qur'an
68:4)
He (PBUH) repeatedly told
his Sahabah of the effect a good
attitude would have in forming an
Islamic personality and in raising a
person's status in the sight of Allah (SWT)
and of other people. He (PBUH) told
them:
"Among the best of
you are those who have the best
attitude (towards others)."3
"The most
beloved to me and the closest to me on
the Day of Resurrection will be those
of you who have the best attitudes.
And the most hateful to me and the
furthest from me on the Day of
Resurrection will be the prattlers and
boasters and al-mutafayhiqun."
The Sahabah said, "O
Messenger of Allah (PBUH), we
understand who the prattlers and
boasters are, but who are al-mutafayhiqun?"
He (PBUH) said, "The proud and
arrogant."4
The Sahabah (RAA)
- men and women alike - used to hear the
Prophet's noble moral teachings, and
they would see with their own eyes the
excellent way in which he used to deal
with people. So they would obey his
words and follow his example. Thus was
established their society which has
never been equalled by any other in the
history of mankind.
Anas (RAA) said:
"The Prophet (PBUH)
was merciful. Nobody came to him
without receiving a promise of his
help, which he would fulfil if he had
the means to do so. On one occasion,
the iqamah for prayer had been
given, when a Bedouin came to him,
took hold of his cloak, and said, `I
still have some matter outstanding,
and I do not want to forget it.' So
the Prophet (PBUH) went with him and
resolved the matter, then he came back
and prayed."5
The Prophet (PBUH) did
not see anything wrong with listening to
the Bedouin and resolving his issue,
even though the iqamah had
already been given. He did not get upset
with the man for pulling on his cloak,
or object to resolving the matter before
the prayer, because he was building a
just society, teaching the Muslims by
his example how a Muslim should treat
his brother, and showing them the moral
principles that should prevail in a
Muslim community.
If good attitudes and
manners among non-Muslims are the result
of a good upbringing and solid
education, then among Muslims such good
attitudes come, above all, from the
guidance of Islam, which makes good
attitudes a basic characteristic of the
Muslim, one which will raise his status
in this world and will weigh heavily in
his favour in the Hereafter. No deed
will count for more on the Day of
Judgement than a man's good attitude, as
the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Nothing will
weigh more heavily in the balance of
the believing servant on the Day of
Resurrection than a good attitude
(towards others). Verily Allah (SWT)
hates those who utter vile words and
obscene speech."6
Islam has made this good
attitude towards others an essential
part of faith, and those who have the
best attitude towards others are the
most complete in faith, as the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"The most perfect
in faith of the believers are those
who are best in their attitude towards
others."7
Islam also describes
those who have the best attitude towards
others as being the most beloved to
Allah (SWT) of His servants. This is
seen in the hadith of Usamah ibn Shurayk,
who said:
"We were sitting
with the Prophet (PBUH) as if there
were birds on our heads: none of us
were talking. Some people came to him
and asked, `Who is the most beloved to
Allah (SWT) of His Servants?' He said,
`Those who are the best in attitude
towards others.'"8
It comes as no surprise
that the person who has the best
attitude towards others should also be
the one who is most beloved to Allah (SWT),
for good treatment of others is an
important feature of Islamic law. It is
the most significant deed that can be
placed in the balance of the Muslim on
the Day of Judgement, as we have seen.
It is equivalent to prayer and fasting,
the two greatest bases of Islam, as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"No greater deed
will be placed in the balance than a
good attitude towards others. A good
attitude towards others will bring a
person up to the level of fasting and
prayer."9 According to
another report, he (PBUH) said:
"By virtue of his good attitude
towards others, a person may reach the
level of one who habitually fasts
(during the day) and stands in prayer
(at night)."
So the Prophet (PBUH)
repeatedly emphasized the importance of
a good attitude and encouraged his
Companions to adopt it, using various
methods to instil it in their hearts by
his words and deeds. He understood the
great impact this good attitude would
have in purifying their souls and
enhancing their morals and manners. For
example, he told Abu Dharr:
"O Abu Dharr,
shall I not tell you of two qualities
which are easy to attain but which
will weigh more heavily in the
balance?" He said, "Of
course, O Messenger of Allah." He
said, "You should have a good
attitude towards others and remain
silent for lengthy periods. By the One
in Whose hand is my soul, nothing that
people have ever attained is better
than these two."10
And he (PBUH) said:
"A good attitude
is a blessing and a bad attitude is a
calamity. Piety (birr)
lengthens life, and charity will
prevent a bad death."11
One of his du`a's
was:
"Allahumma
ahsanta khalqi fa ahsin k (O Allah
(SWT), You have made my physical
constitution good, so make my attitude
and behaviour good also)."12
The prayer of the Prophet
(PBUH), asking Allah (SWT) to make his
attitude good when Allah (SWT) had
described him in the Qur'an as being ( on
an exalted standard of character) (Qur'an
68:4), is a clear indication of his deep
concern and earnest desire that the
Muslims should continue to seek to
increase in good attitudes, no matter
what heights they had already scaled,
just as their Prophet (PBUH) continued
to seek to increase in good attitudes
through this du`a'. "Good
attitudes" is a comprehensive term
which includes all the good
characteristics that human beings may
acquire, such as modesty, patience,
gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance,
cheerfulness, truthfulness,
trustworthiness, sincerity,
straightforwardness, purity of heart,
and so on.
The one who sets out
to explore the Islamic teachings on
social issues will find himself
confronted with a host of teachings that
encourage every single one of these
noble attitudes. This is an indication
of the intense concern that Islam has to
form the social personality of the
Muslim in the most precise fashion. So
it does not stop at mentioning
generalities, but it also deals with
every minor moral issue that may form
individual aspects of the integrated
social personality. This
comprehensiveness does not exist in
other social systems as it does in
Islam.
The researcher who
sets out to explore the character of the
Muslim woman has no alternative but to
examine all these texts, and to
understand the guidance and legislation
contained therein. Only then will he be
able to fully comprehend the noble
social personality that is unique to the
true Muslim, man or woman.
She is truthful
The Muslim woman is
truthful with all people, because she
has absorbed the teachings of Islam
which encourages truthfulness and
regards it as the chief of virtues,
whilst lying is forbidden and regarded
as the source of all evils and bad
deeds. The Muslim woman believes that
truthfulness naturally leads to
goodness, which will admit the one who
practices it to Paradise, while
falsehood leads to iniquity which will
send the one who practices it to Hell.
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Truthfulness
leads to piety (birr), and
piety leads to Paradise. A man
continues to speak the truth until he
is recorded in the sight of Allah
(SWT) as a sincere lover of truth (siddiq).
Falsehood leads to iniquity and
iniquity leads to Hell. A man will
continue to speak falsehood until he
is recorded in the sight of Allah
(SWT) as a liar."13
Therefore the Muslim
woman is keen to be a sincere lover of
truth (siddiqah), striving to be
true in all her words and deeds. This is
a sublime status which is achieved only
by God-fearing Muslim women by means of
truthfulness, purity of heart and by
virtue of which she is recorded in the
sight of Allah (SWT) as an honoured
lover of truth.
She avoids giving
false statements
The true Muslim woman
whose personality has been moulded by
the teachings and guidance of Islam does
not give false statements, because to do
so is haram:
( . . . And shun the
word that is false.) (Qur'an
22:30)
Bearing false witness14,
besides being haram, does not
befit the Muslim woman. It damages her
honour and credibility, and marks a
person as twisted and worthless in the
sight of others. So the Qur'an
completely forbids this attitude for the
chosen servants of Allah (SWT), men and
women alike, just as it forbids other
major sins:
( Those who witness
no falsehood and, if they pass by
futility, they pass it by with
honourable [avoidance].) (Qur'an
25:72)
Nothing is more
indicative of the enormity of this sin
than the fact that the Prophet (PBUH)
mentioned it as coming after the two
most serious sins on the scale of major
sins: associating partners with Allah
(SWT), and disobedience to parents. Then
he repeated it to the Muslims, warning
them with the utmost fervour. He (PBUH)
said:
"Shall I not tell
you of the most serious of the major
sins?" We said: "Of course,
O Messenger of Allah." He said:
"Associating anything with Allah
(SWT), and diobeying parents." He
was reclining, but then he sat up and
said: "And bearing false
witness," and he kept repeating
this until we wished that he would
stop (i.e., so that he would not
exhaust himself with his
fervour)."15
She gives sincere
advice
The true Muslim woman
does not only strive to free herself of
negative characteristics; she also seeks
to offer sincere advice to every woman
she comes into contact with who has
deviated from the guidance of Allah
(SWT) - and how many women there are who
have wronged themselves and are in great
need of someone to offer them sincere
advice and guide them back towards the
straight path which Allah (SWT) has
commanded all of us to follow.
For the true Muslim
woman, offering sincere advice is not
just the matter of volunteering to do
good out of generosity; it is a duty
enjoined by Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Religion is
sincerity [or sincere advice]."
The Sahabah asked, "To
whom?" He said, "To Allah
(SWT), to His Book, to His Messenger,
to the leaders of the Muslims and to
their common folk."16
When the Sahabah
swore allegiance (bay`ah) to the
Prophet (PBUH), they would pledge to
observe salah and zakah,
and to be sincere towards every Muslim,
as is shown in the statement of Jarir
ibn `Abdullah (RAA):
"I swore
allegiance to the Prophet (PBUH) with
the pledge that I would establish
regular prayer, pay zakah and
be sincere to every Muslim."17
How brilliantly the
Prophet (PBUH) expressed the meaning of nasihah
when he said, "Religion is
sincerity [or sincere advice]"! He
summed up the entire religion in just
one word, "nasihah,"
indicating to every Muslim the value of
sincerity and sincere advice, and the
great impact that sincere advice has on
the lives of individuals, families and
societies. When sincerity spreads among
a people, they are guided to the
straight path; if sincerity is withheld,
they will go far astray.
Therefore nasihah
was one of the most important matters
that Muslims pledged to observe when
they swore allegiance to the Prophet
(PBUH): it comes after salah and zakah,
as we have seen in the hadith of
Jabir ibn Abdullah quoted above.
The fact that sincere
advice is mentioned in conjunction with salah
and zakah in the oath of
allegiance given by the great Sahabi
Jarir ibn `Abdullah to the Prophet
(PBUH) is an indication of its
importance in the Islamic scheme of
things and in deciding a person's fate
in the Hereafter. It is therefore a
basic characteristic of the true Muslim
who is concerned about his destiny on
the Day of Judgement.
In Islam,
responsibility is a general duty that
applies to men and women alike, each
person has responsibilities within his
or her own social sphere, as the Prophet
(PBUH) explained:
"Each of you is a
shepherd and each of you is
responsible for his flock. The leader
is a shepherd and is responsible for
his flock; a man is the shepherd of
his family and is responsible for his
flock; a woman is the shepherd in the
house of her husband and is
responsible for her flock; a servant
is the shepherd of his master's wealth
and is responsible for it. Each of you
is a shepherd and is responsible for
his flock."18
If we understand this, we
will realize that the woman's
responsibility includes offering sincere
advice to everyone around her who can
benefit from it.
She guides others
to righteous deeds
The Muslim woman whose
soul has been purified by Islam and
cleansed of the stains of selfishness
and love of show guides others to
righteous deeds when she knows of them,
so that goodness will come to light and
people will benefit from it. It is all
the same to her whether the good deed is
done by herself or by others, because
she knows that the one who guides others
to do righteous deeds will be rewarded
like the one who does the actual deed,
as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever guides
others to do good will have a reward
like that of the person who does the
good deed."19
The Muwoman is the least
likely to keep goodness to herself, or
to boast to others about doing good,
which is the attitude of selwomen who
love to show off. It is enough for the
Muslim woman who guides others to do
good to know that she will be rewarded
by Allah (SWT) in either case, and for
the true Muslim woman, storing up reward
with Allah (SWT) is more important than
fame and a good reputation. In this way,
goodness spreads throughout the
community, and every person will have
the opportunity to do whatever Allah
(SWT) helps him or her to do.
How many of these
deadly psychological disorders are
preventing good from being spread in
society! For the people who are
suffering from them hope that they alone
will undertake good deeds to the
exclusion of others, but circumstances
prevent them from doing so. So goodness
and benefits remain locked up waiting
for the opportunity that never comes.
The true Muslim, man or woman, who seeks
to please Allah (SWT) and earn reward
from Him is free from such disorders.
The true Muslim guides people to do good
deeds as soon as he or she is aware of
an opportunity, and thus he or she earns
a reward from Allah (SWT) equal to the
reward of the one who does the good deed
itself.
She does not cheat,
deceive, or stab in the back
The sincere Muslim
woman for whom truthfulness has become a
deeply-rooted characteristic does not
cheat, deceive or stab in the back,
because these worthless characteristics
are beneath her. They contradict the
values of truthfulness, and do not befit
the Muslim woman. Truthfulness requires
an attitude of sincerity,
straightforwardness, loyalty and
fairness, which leaves no room for
cheating, lying, trickery, deceit or
betrayal.
The Muslim woman who
is filled with the guidance of Islam is
truthful by nature, and has a complete
aversion to cheating, deceiving and
back-stabbing, which she sees as a sign
of a person's being beyond the pale of
Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated in
the hadith narrated by Muslim:
"Whoever bears
arms against us is not one of us, and
whoever cheats us is not one of
us."20
According to another
report, also narrated by Muslim, the
Prophet (PBUH) passed by a pile of
food (in the market), put his hand in
it and felt dampness (although the
surface of the pile was dry). He said,
"O owner of the food, what is
this?" The man said, "it was
damaged by rain, O Messenger of
Allah." He said, "And you
did not put the rain-damaged food on
top so that people could see it!
Whoever cheats us is not one of
us."21
Muslim society is based
on purity of human feeling, sincerity
towards every Muslim, and fulfilment of
promises to every member of the society.
If any cheats or traitors are found in
that society, they are most certainly
alien elements whose character is in
direct contrast to the noble character
of true Muslims.
Islam views cheating,
deception and back-stabbing as heinous
crimes which will be a source of shame
to the guilty party both in this world
and the next. The Prophet (PBUH)
announced that on the Day of
Resurrection, every traitor would be
raised carrying the flag of his betrayal
and a caller will cry out in the vast
arena of judgement, pointing to him and
drawing attention to him:
"Every traitor
will have a banner on the Day of
Resurrection, and it will be said:
`This is the betrayer of
so-and-so.'"22
How great will be the
shame of those traitors, men and women,
who thought that their betrayal was long
since forgotten, and now here it is,
spread out for all to see and carried
aloft on banners held by their own
hands.
Their shame on the Day
of Judgement will increase when they see
the Prophet (PBUH), who is the hope of
intercession on that great and terrible
Day, standing in opposition to them,
because they have committed the heinous
crime of betrayal, which is a crime of
such enormity that it will deprive them
of the mercy of Allah (SWT) and the
intercession of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Allah (SWT), may
He be exalted, said: `There are three
whom I will oppose on the Day of
Resurrection: a man who gave his word,
and then betrayed; a man who sold a
free man into slavery and kept the
money; and a man who hired someone,
benefitted from his labour, then did
not pay his wages."23
The Muslim woman who has
been truly guided by Islam steers clear
of all forms of deceit and
back-stabbing. They exist in many forms
in the world of modern women, but the
Muslim woman values herself too highly
to include herself among those cheating,
deceiving women whom the Prophet (PBUH)
considered to be hypocrites:
"There are four
features, whoever has all of them is a
true hypocrite, and whoever has one of
them has one of the qualities of a
hypocrite until he gives it up: when
he is trusted, he is unfaithful; when
he speaks, he tells lies; when he make
a promise, he proves treacherous; and
when he disputes, he resorts to
slander."24
She keeps her promises
One of the noble
attitudes of the true Muslim woman is
that she keeps her promises. This
attitude is the companion of
truthfulness and indeed stems naturally
from it.
Keeping promises is a
praiseworthy attitude, one that
indicates the high level of civility
attained by the woman who exhibits it.
It helps her to succeed in life, and
earns her the love, respect and
appreciation of others.
The effects of this
attitude in instilling moral and
psychological virtues in girls and boys
are not unknown; if they see their
mothers always keeping their promises,
this is the best example that they can
be given.
For the Muslim woman,
keeping promises is not just the matter
of social niceties, something to boast
about among her friends and peers; it is
one of the basic Islamic characteristics
and one of the clearest indicators of
sound faith and true Islam. Many texts
of the Qur'an and Sunnah emphasize the
importance of this quality:
( O you who believe!
Fulfil all obligations.) (Qur'an
5:1)
( And fulfil
every engagement, for [every]
engagement will be enquired into [on
the Day of Reckoning].) (Qur'an
17:34)
This is a definitive
command from Allah (SWT) to His
believing servants, men and women alike,
to keep their promises and to fulfil
whatever obligations those promises
entail. There is no room for escaping or
dodging this responsibility. It does not
befit the Muslim who has committed
himself or herself to then try to get
out of keeping the promise. It is his
duty to keep his word. In some ayat,
the word for "promise" is
connected by the grammatical structure
of idafah (genitive) to Allah
(SWT) Himself, as an indication of its
dignity and sanctity, and of the
obligation to keep promises:
( Fulfil the
Covenant of Allah, when you have
entered into it . . .) (Qur'an
16:91)
Islam dislikes those
prattlers who carelessly make promises
without following through and keeping
their word:
( O you who believe!
Why say you that which you do not?
Grievously odious is it in the sight
of Allah that you say that which you
do not.) (Qur'an 61:2-3)
Allah (SWT) does not like
His believing servants, male or female,
to sink to the level of empty words,
promises given with no intention of
fulfilment, and all manner of excuses to
avoid upholding the commitments made.
Such conduct does not befit believing
men and women. The tone of the question
asked in this ayah is an
expression of the extreme disapproval
incurred by those believers who commit
the sin of saying that which they do not
do.
The Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"The signs of a
hypocrite are three: when he speaks,
he lies; when he makes a promise, he
breaks it; and when he is entrusted
with something, he betrays that
trust."25
According to a report
given by Muslim, he (PBUH) added:
"Even if he fasts,
prays and thinks that he is a
Muslim."26
The level of a woman's
Islam is not determined only by acts of
worship and rituals, but also the extent
to which her character is influenced by
the teachings and high values of Islam.
She does only that which will please
Allah (SWT). The Muslim woman who
understands and adheres to the teachings
of Islam does not break her promises, or
cheat others, or betray them, because
such acts contradict the morals and
values of true Isla, and such attitudes
are only found among men and women who
are hypocrites.
Let them know this,
those women who tell lies to their own
children, who make promises then go back
on thword, thus planting the seeds of
dishonesty and promise-breaking in their
children's hearts. Let them know this,
those women who make empty, meaningless
promises and attach no importance to the
word of honour to which they have
committed themselves, lest by such
carelessness they become hypocrites
themselves and earn the punishment of
the hypocrites which, as is well known,
is a place in the lowest level of Hell.
She is not a
hypocrite
The true Muslim woman
is frank and open in her words and
opinions, and is the furthest removed
from hypocrisy, flattery and false
praise, because she knows from the
teachings of Islam that hypocrisy is haram,
and does not befit the true Muslim.
The Prophet (PBUH) has
protected us from falling into the
mire of hypocrisy and flattery. When
Banu `Amir came to him and praised
him, saying, "You are our
master," he said, "The only
Master is Allah (SWT)." When they
said, "You are the most excellent
and greatest of us," he said,
"Say what you want, or a part of
it, but do not speak like agents of
Shaytan. I do not want you to raise me
above the status to which Allah (SWT)
has appointed me. I am Muhammad ibn
`Abdullah, His Servant and
Messenger."27
The Prophet (PBUH)
prevented people from exaggerating in
their praise of others, some of whom may
not even be deserving of praise, when he
forbade them to describe him as
"master,"
"excellent" and
"great," at the time when he
was without doubt the greatest of the
Messengers, the master of the Muslims
and the greatest and most excellent of
them. He did this because he understood
that if the door of praise was opened to
its fullest extent, it might lead to
dangerous types of hypocrisy which are
unacceptable to a pure Islamic spirit
and the truth on which this religion is
based. He forbade the Sahabah to
praise a man to his face, lest the one
who spoke the words crossed the boundary
of hypocrisy, or the object of his
admiration be filled with feelings of
pride, arrogance, superiority and
self-admiration.
Bukhari and Muslim
narrate that Abu Bakrah (RAA) said:
"A man praised
another man in the presence of the
Prophet (PBUH), who said: `Woe to you!
You have cut your companion's throat!'
several times. Then he said: `Whoever
of you insists on praising his
brother, let him say: "I think
So-and-so is such-and-such, and Allah
(SWT) knows the exact truth, and I do
not confirm anyone's good conduct
before Allah (SWT), but I think him to
be such-and-such," if he knows
that this is the case.'"28
If praising a person
cannot be avoided, then it must be
sincere and based on truth. The praise
should be moderate, reserved and without
any exaggeration. This is the only way
in which a society can rid itself of the
diseases of hypocrisy, lies, deceit and
sycophancy.
In al-Adab al-Mufrad,
Bukhari reports from Raja' from Mihjan
al-Aslami that the Prophet (PBUH) and
Mihjan were in the mosque when the
Prophet (PBUH) saw a man praying,
bowing and prostrating, and asked,
"Who is that?" Mihjan began
to praise the man, saying, "O
Messenger of Allah, he is So-and-so,
and is such-and-such." The
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Stop. Do
not let him hear you, or it will be
his downfall!"29
According to a
report given by Ahmad, Mihjan said:
"O Messenger of Allah, this is
so-and-so, one of the best people of
Madinah," or "one of the
people who prays the most in
Madinah." The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "Do not let him hear you,
or it will be his downfall!" -
two or three times - "You are an ummah
for whom I wish ease."30
The Prophet (PBUH)
described hearing praise as being a
person's downfall, because of its
profound psychological impact on the
human mind which by nature loves to hear
such words. So the one who is praised
begins to feel superior to and to look
down on other people. If such praise is
repeated by the hypocrites and
flatterers - and how many of them there
are surrounding those in positions of
power and authority! - this will satisfy
a strong desire in his heart and will
become something he wants to hear
regularly. Then he will hate to hear
criticism and advice, and will only
accept praise, thanks and adulation. No
wonder, then, that truth will be lost,
justice will be eliminated, morality
will be destroyed and society will be
corrupted.
For this reason the
Prophet (PBUH) ordered his Companions to
throw dust in the faces of those who
praise others, lest their number, and
hence flattery and hypocrisy, increase,
which would have had disastrous
consequences for the whole Muslim
society.
The Sahabah,
may Allah (SWT) be pleased with them,
used to feel upset when they heard
others praising them, although they were
the most deserving of such praise,
because they feared its disastrous
consequences and adhered to the basic
principles of Islam that abhor such
cheap, empty expressions. Nafi`(RAA) and
others said: "A man said to Ibn
`Umar (RAA): `O you who are the best of
people!' or `O son of the best of
people!' Ibn `Umar said: `I am not the
best of people, neither am I the son of
the best of people. I am just one of the
servants of Allah (SWT): I hope for His
(mercy) and I fear His (wrath). By Allah
(SWT), you will continue to pursue a man
(with your praise) until you bring about
his downfall.'"31
This is a wise
statement from a great Sahabi of
the utmost Islamic sensibilities, who
adhered to Islamic teachings both in
secret and openly.
The Sahabah
understood precisely the Prophet's
guidance telling them that their words
and deeds should be free from hypocrisy.
The great difference between that which
is done sincerely for the sake of Allah
(SWT) and that which is merely hypocrisy
and flattery was abundantly clear to
them.
Ibn `Umar (RAA) said
that some people said to him: "When
we enter upon our rulers we tell them
something different from what we say
when we have left them." Ibn `Umar
said: "At the time of the Prophet
(PBUH), we used to consider this to be
hypocrisy."32
The true Muslim woman
is protected by her religion from
sinking to the dangerous level of
hypocrisy to which many women today have
sunk who think that they have not
overstepped the bounds of polite
flattery. They do not realize that there
is a type of flattery that is haram
and that they could sink so low without
realizing it and fall into the sin of
that despised hypocrisy which may lead
to their ultimate doom. This happens
when they keep quiet and refrain from
telling the truth, or when they praise
those who do not deserve it.
She is
characterized by shyness [haya']
Women are shy by
nature, and what I mean here by shyness
is the same as the definition of the `ulama':
the noble attitude that always motivates
a person to keep away from what is
abhorrent and to avoid falling short in
one's duties towards those who have
rights over one. The Prophet (PBUH) was
the highest example of shyness, as the
great Sahabi Abu Sa`id al-Khudri
described him:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) was more shy than the
virgin hiding away in her own room. If
he saw something he disliked, we would
know it only from his facial
expression."33
The Prophet (PBUH)
praised the attitude of shyness in a
number of ahadith, and explained that it
is pure goodness, both for the one who
possesses this virtue and for the
society in which he lives.
`Imran ibn Husayn
(RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Shyness brings nothing
but good.'"34
According to a report
given by Muslim, he (PBUH) said:
"Shyness is all
good."35
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: "Faith has
seventy-odd branches. The greatest of
them is saying la ilaha ill-Allah,
and the least of them is removing
something harmful from the road.
Shyness is one of the branches of
faith."36
The true Muslim woman is
shy, polite, gentle and sensitive to the
feelings of others. She never says or
does anything that may harm people or
offend their dignity.
The attitude of
shyness that is deeply-rooted in her
nature is supported by her understanding
of the Islamic concepof shyness, which
protects her against going wrong or
deviating from Islamic teachings in her
dealings with others. She does not only
feel shy in front of people, but she
also feels shy before Allah (SWT). She
is careful not to let her faith become
by wrongdoing, because shyness is one of
the branches of faith. This is the
highest level that may be reached by the
woman who is characterized by shyness.
In this way she is distinguished from
the Western woman who has lost the
characteristic of shyness.
She is proud and
does not beg
One of the features
that distinguish the Muslim woman who
has truly understood the guidance of
Islam is the fact that she is proud and
does not beg. If she is faced with
difficulties or is afflicted with
poverty, she seeks refuge in patience
and self-pride, whilst redoubling her
efforts to find a way out of the crisis
of poverty that has befallen her. It
never occurs to her to put herself in
the position of begging and asking for
help, because Islam thinks too highly of
the true Muslim woman to allow her to
put herself in such a position. The
Muslim woman is urged to be proud,
independent and patient - then Allah
(SWT) will help her and give her
independence and patience:
"Whoever refrains
from asking from people, Allah (SWT)
will help him. Whoever tries to be
independent, Allah (SWT) will enrich
him. Whoever tries to be patient,
Allah (SWT) will give him patience,
and no-one is given a better or vaster
gift than patience."37
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam knows
that Islam has given the poor some
rights over the wealth of the rich, who
should give freely without reminders or
insults. But at the same time, Islam
wants the poor to be independent and not
to rely on this right. The higher hand
is better than the lower hand, so all
Muslims, men and women, should always
work so that their hand will not be the
lower one. That is more befitting and
more honouring to them. So those men and
women who have little should increase
their efforts and not be dependent on
charity and hand-outs. This will save
them from losing face. Whenever he spoke
from the minbar about charity and
refraining from begging, the Prophet
(PBUH) would remind the Muslims that
"the higher hand is better than the
lower, the higher hand is the one that
spends, whilst the lower hand is the one
that begs."38
She does not
interfere in that which
does not concern
her
The true Muslim woman
is wise and discerning; she does not
interfere in that which does not concern
her, nor does she concern herself with
the private lives of the women around
her. She does not stick her nose into
their affairs or force herself on them
in any way, because this could result in
sin or blame on her part. By seeking to
avoid interfering in that which does not
concern her, she protects herself from
vain and idle talk, as she is adhering
to a sound Islamic principle that raises
the Muslim above such foolishness,
furnishes him with the best of
attitudes, and guides him towards the
best way of dealing with others:
"A sign of a
person's being a good Muslim is that
he should leave alone that which does
not concern him."39
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) likes
three things for you and dislikes
three things. He likes for you to
worship Him, not to associate anything
with Him, and to hold fast, all
together, by the Rope which He
(stretches out for you), and not to be
divided among yourselves [cf. Al
`Imran 3:103]. And He dislikes for
you to pass on stories and gossip, to
ask too many questions, and to waste
money."40
The divinely-guided
society which has been formed by Islam
has no room for passing on stories and
gossip, asking too many questions, or
interfering in the private affairs of
others, because the members of such a
society are too busy with something much
more important, which is the
establishing of the word of Allah (SWT)
on earth, taking the banner of Islam to
the four corners of the earth, and
spreading its values among mankind.
Those who are engaged in such great
missions do not have the time to indulge
in such sins.
She refrains from
slandering the honour
of others and
seeking out their faults
The God-fearing Muslim
woman restrains her tongue and does not
seek out people's faults or slander
their honour, and she hates to see such
talk spread in the Muslim community. She
acts in accordance with the guidance of
the Qur'an and Sunnah, which issue a
severe warning to those corrupt men and
women who indulge in slandering the
honour of others, that they will suffer
a terrible punishment in this world and
the next:
( Those who love [to
see] scandal published broadcast among
the Believers, will have a grievous
Penalty in this life and in the
Hereafter: Allah knows, and you know
not.) (Qur'an 24:19)
The one who indulges in
the slander of people's honour, and
spreads news of scandal throughout the
community is just like the one who
commits the scandalous deed, as `Ali ibn
Abi Talib (RAA) stated:
"The one who tells
the news of scandal and the one who
spread the news are equally
sinful."41
The true Muslim woman
understands that the human shortcomings
of some weak or careless women cannot be
dealt with by seeking out their faults
and mistakes and broadcasting them
throughout the community. The way to
deal with them is by offering sound
advice to the women concerned,
encouraging them to obey Allah (SWT),
and teaching them to hate disobedience
themselves, always being frank without
hurting their feelings or being
confrontational.
Kind words and a
gentle approach in explaining the truth
opens hearts and minds, and leads to
complete spiritual and physical
submission. For this reason, Allah (SWT)
forbids the Muslims to spy on one
another and seek out one another's
faults:
( . . . And spy not
on each other . . .) (Qur'an
49:12)
Exposing people's
shortcomings, seeking out their faults,
spying on them and gossiping about them
are actions which not only hurt the
people concerned; they also harm the
greater society in which they live.
Therefore the Qur'an issued a stern
warning to those who love to spread
scandal in the community, because
whenever scandal is spread in a
community, people's honour is insulted,
and rumours, plots and suspicions
increase, then the disease of
promiscuity becomes widespread, people
become immune to acts of disobedience
and sin, the bonds of brotherhood are
broken, and hatred, enmity, conspiracies
and corruption arise. This is what the
Prophet (PBUH) referred to when he said:
"If you seek out
the faults of the Muslims, you will
corrupt them, or you will nearly
corrupt them."42
So the Prophet (PBUH)
issued a stern warning to the Muslims
against the danger of slandering
people's honour and exposing their
faults. He threatened that the one who
takes such matters lightly would himself
be exposed, even if he were hiding in
the innermost part of his home:
"Do not hurt the
feelings of the servants of Allah (SWT);
do not embarrass them; do not seek to
expose their faults. Whoever seeks to
expose the faults of his Muslim brother,
Allah (SWT) will seek to expose his
faults and expose him, even if he hides
in the innermost part of his home."43
The Prophet (PBUH) was
deeply offended by those who were nosey,
suspicious or doubtful, or who sought to
undermine people's reputation and
honour. He would become very angry
whenever he heard any news of these
aggressors who hurt others. Ibn `Abbas
(RAA) described the anger of the Prophet
(PBUH) and his harshness towards those
who slandered the honour of others:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) gave a speech that even reached
the ears of virgins in their private
rooms. He said: `O you who have spoken
the words of faith, but faith has not
penetrated your hearts! Do not hurt the
feelings of the believers and do not
seek out their faults. Whoever seeks out
the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah
(SWT) will seek out his faults, and
whoever's faults are sought out by Allah
(SWT) will be exposed, even if he is in
the innermost part of his house."44
These harsh words,
which were even heard by the virgins
secluded in tprivate rooms, reflect the
anger felt by the Prophet (PBUH). He
started his speech with the words
"O you who have spoken the words of
faith, but faith has not penetrated your
hearts!" How great is the sin of
those who are included among those whose
hearts are deprived of the blessing of
faith!
She does noshow off
or boast
The Muslim woman does
not slip into the error of pride,
boasting and showing off, because her
knowledge of Islam protects her from
such errors. She understands that the
very essence of this religion is
sincerity towards Allah (SWT) in word
and deed; any trace of a desire to show
off will destroy reward, cancel out good
deeds, and bring humiliation on the Day
of Judgement.
Worshipping Allah
(SWT) is the goal behind the creation of
mankind and jinn, as the Qur'an
says:
( I have only
created jinns and men, that
they may serve Me.) (Qur'an 51:56)
But this worship cannot
be accepted unless it is done sincerely
for the sake of Allah (SWT):
( And they have been
commanded no more than this: to
worship Allah, offering Him sincere
devotion, being True [in faith] . . .)
(Qur'an 98:5)
When a Muslim woman's
deeds are contaminated with the desire
to boast or show off or seek fame and
reputation, the good deeds will be
invalidated. Her reward will be
destroyed and she will be in a clear
state of loss. The Qur'an issues a clear
and stern warning to those who spend
their wealth then remind the
beneficiaries of their charity of their
gifts in a way that hurts their feelings
and offends their dignity:
( O you who believe!
Cancel not your charity by reminders
of your generosity or by injury - like
those who spend their substance to be
seen of men, but believe neither in
Allah nor the Last Day. They are in
Parable like a hard, barren rock, on
which is a little soil; on it falls
heavy rain, which leaves it [just] a
bare rock. They will be able to do
nothing with aught they have earned.
And Allah guides not those who reject
faith.) (Qur'an 2:264)
Reminding the poor of
one's generosity cancels out the reward
of these acts of charity, just as
pouring water washes away all traces of
soil on a smooth stone. The last part of
the ayah presents the frightening
admonition that those who show off do
not deserve the guidance of Allah (SWT)
and are counted as kafirs: ( And
Allah guides not those who reject
faith.)
Such people's main
concern is to appear to people to be
doing good works; they are not concerned
with earning the pleasure of Allah
(SWT). Allah (SWT) has described them as
doing apparently good deeds:
( . . . to be seen
of men, but little do they hold Allah
in remembrance.) (Qur'an 4:142)
Thus their deeds will be
thrown back in their faces, because they
associated something or someone else
with Allah (SWT), and Allah (SWT) does
not accept any deeds except those which
are done purely for His sake, as is
stated in the hadith of Abu Hurayrah
(RAA), in which he reports that he heard
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:
"Allah (SWT) said:
`I am so self-sufficient that I am in
no need of having an associate. Thus
he who does an action for someone
else's sake as well as Mine shall have
that action renounced by Me to the one
whom he associated with Me."45
The true Muslim woman is
cautious, when doing good deeds, to
avoid falling into the dangerous trap
into which so many women who seek to do
good have fallen, without even realizing
it, by seeking praise for their efforts
and honourable mention on special
occasions. Theirs is a terrible fall
indeed.
The Prophet (PBUH) has
clearly explained this issue and has
referred to the terrible humiliation
that those who show off will suffer on
that awful Day ( whereon neither
wealth nor sons will avail, but only he
[will prosper] that brings to Allah a
sound heart.) (Qur'an 26:88-89).
This is mentioned in
another hadith in which Abu Hurayrah
(RAA) said:
"I heard the
Prophet (PBUH) say: `The first person
to be judged on the Day of
Resurrection will be a man who was
martyred. He will be brought forth and
Allah (SWT) will remind him of His
blessings, and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, "What did
you do with them?" He will say,
"I fought for Your sake until I
was martyred." Allah (SWT) will
say, "You have lied. You only
fought so that people would say, `He
is courageous,' and they did say
it." Then He will order that he
be dragged on his face and thrown into
the Fire. Then there will be a man who
studied much and taught others, and
recited Qur'an. He will be brought
forth and Allah (SWT) will remind of
His blessings, and he will recognize
them. Then he will be asked,
"What did you do with them?"
He will say, "I studied much, and
taught others, and recited Qur'an for
Your sake. Allah (SWT) will say,
"You have lied. You studied so
that people would say, `He is a
scholar,' and you recited Qur'an so
that they would say, `He is a qari','
and they did say it." Then He
will order that he be dragged on his
face and thrown into the Fire. Then
there will be a man to whom Allah
(SWT) gave all types of wealth in
abundance. He will be brought forth
and Allah (SWT) will remind him of His
blessings and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, "What did
you do with them?" He will say,
"I have never seen any way in
which You would like money to be spent
for Your sake without spending
it." Allah (SWT) will say,
"You have lied. You did that so
people would say, `he is generous,'
and they did say it." Then He
will order that he be dragged on his
face and thrown into the
Fire."'"46
The intelligent Muslim
woman who is truly guided by the Qur'an
and Sunnah carefully avoids slipping
into the sin of boasting in any of its
many forms. She is ever keen to devote
all of her deeds exclusively to Allah
(SWT), seeking His pleasure, and
whenever the appalling spectre of pride
and boasting looms before her, she
remembers and adheres to the teaching of
the Prophet (PBUH):
"Whoever makes a
show of his good deeds so that people
will respect him, Allah (SWT) will
show what is truly in his heart."47
She is fair in her
judgements
The Muslim woman may
be put in a position where she is
required to form an opinion or judgement
on some person or matter. This is where
her faith, common sense and taqwa
reveal themselves. The true Muslim woman
judges fairly, and is never unjust,
biased or influenced by her own whims,
no matter what the circumstances,
because she understands from the
teachings of Islam that being just and
avoiding unfairness are at the very
heart of her faith, as stated by clear
and unambiguous texts of the Qur'an and
Sunnah and expressed in commandments
that leave no room for prevarication:
( Allah does command
you to render back your Trusts to whom
they are due; and when you judge
between man and man, that you judge
with justice . . .)
(Qur'an 4:58)
Justice as known by the
Muslim and the Islamic society is
aboslute and pure justice. It is not
influenced by friendship, hatred or
blood ties:
( O you who believe!
Stand out firmly for Allah, as
witnesses to fair dealing, and do not
let the hatred of others to you make
you swerve to wrong and depart from
justice. Be just: that is next to
Piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is
well-acquainted with all that you do.)
(Qur'an 5:8)
( . . . Whenever
you speak, speak justly, even if a
near relative is concerned . . .) (Qur'an
6:152)
The Prophet (PBUH)
set the highest example of justice
when Usamah ibn Zayd came to intercede
for the Makhzumi woman who had
committed theft, and the Prophet
(PBUH) had decided to cut off her
hand. He said: "Do you intercede
concerning one of the punishments
decreed by Allah (SWT), O Usamah? By
Allah (SWT), even if Fatimah the
daughter of Muhammad had committed
theft, I would have cut off her
hand."48
This is absolute,
universal justice which is applied to
great and small, prince and commoner,
Muslims and non-Muslims. None can escape
its grasp, and this is what
differentiates justice in Islamic
societies from justice in other
societies.
History records the
impressive story that earns the respect
of the institutions of justice
throughout the world and at all times:
the khalifah `Ali ibn AbTalib
stood side by side in court with his
Jewish opponent, who had stolen his
shield, on equal terms. The qadi,
Shurayh, did not let his great respect
for the khalifah prevent him from
asking him to produce evidence that the
Jew had stolen his shield. When the khalifah
could not produce such evidence, the qadi
ruled in favour of the Jew, and against
the khalifah. Islamhistory is
full of such examples which indicate the
extent to which truth and justice
prevailed in the Muslim society.
Therefore the Muslim
woman who truly adheres to the teachings
of her religion is just in word and
deed, and this attitude of hers is
reinforced by the fact that truth and
justice are an ancient part of her
heritage and fairness is a sacred part
of her belief.
She does not
oppress or mistreat others
To the extent that the
Muslim woman is keen to adhere to
justice in all her words and deeds, she
also avoids oppression (zulm),
for oppression is darkness in which male
and female oppressors will become lost,
as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:
"Keep away from
oppression, for oppression is darkness
on the Day of Resurrection."49
The following hadith
qudsi definitively and eloquently
expresses Allah's (SWT) prohibition of
oppression in a way that leaves no room
for prevarication:
"O My servants, I
have forbidden oppression for Myself
and have made it forbidden amongst
you, so do not oppress one
another."50
If Allah (SWT), the
Creator, the Sovereign, the Most Holy,
the Exalted in Might, the Omnipotent,
the Almighty, may He be glorified, has
forbidden oppression for Himself, and
forbidden it for His servants, does it
then befit His weak, mortal servant to
commit the sin of oppression against his
human brother?
The Prophet (PBUH)
forbade Muslim men and women to commit
the sin of oppression against their
brothers and sisters in faith, no matter
what the motives, reasons or
circumstances might be. It is
unimaginable that a Muslim who is
adhering to the strong bonds of
brotherhood could commit such a sin:
"A Muslim is the
brother of another Muslim: he does not
oppress him or forsake him when he is
oppressed. Whoever helps his brother,
Allah (SWT) will help him; whoever
relieves his brother from some distress,
Allah (SWT) will relieve him of some of
his distress on the Day of Resurrection;
whoever covers (the fault of) a Muslim,
Allah (SWT) will cover his faults on the
Day of Resurrection."51
The Prophet (PBUH) did
not stop at forbidding oppression
against another Muslim, man or woman; he
also forbade Muslims to forsake a
brother in faith who was being
oppressed, because this act of forsaking
an oppressed brother is in itself a
terrible form of oppression. He
encouraged Muslims to take care of their
brothers' needs and to ease their
suffering and conceal their faults, as
if indicating that the neglect of these
virtues constitutes oppression, failure
and injustice with regard to the ties of
brotherhood that bind the Muslim and his
brother.
We have quoted above
the texts that enjoin absolute justice
which cannot be influenced by love,
hatred, bias or ties of blood, and other
texts that forbid absolute injustice.
This means that justice is to be applied
to all people, and that injustice to any
people is to be avoided, even if the
people concerned are not Muslim. Allah
(SWT) commands justice and good
treatment of all, and forbids oppression
and wrong-doing to all:
( Allah forbids you
not, with regard to those who fight
you not for [your] Faith nor drive you
out of your homes, from dealing kindly
and justly with them: For Allah loves
those who are just.) (Qur'an 60:8)
She is fair even to
those whom
she does not like
Life sometimes imposes
on a Muslim woman the burden of having
to live or mix with women whom she does
not like, such as living in the same
house with one of her in-laws or other
women with whom she has nothing in
common and does not get along well. This
is something which happens in many
homes, a fact which cannot be denied,
for souls are like conscripted soldiers:
if they recognize one another, they will
become friends, and if they dislike one
another, they will go their separate
ways, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained in
the hadith whose authenticity is agreed
upon. How should the Muslim woman who
has received a sound Islamic education
conduct herself in such a situation?
Should she be negative in her dealings,
judgements and reactions, or should she
be gentle, tactful, fair and wise, even
with those whom she does not like?
The answer is that the
Muslim woman who is truly guided by
Islam should be fair, wise, gentle and
tactful. She should not expose her true
feelings towards those she dislikes, or
expose her cold feelings towards them in
the way she behaves towards them and
reacts to them. She should greet such
women warmly, treat them gently and
speak softly to them. This is the
attitude adopted by the Prophet (PBUH)
and his Companions. Abu'l-Darda' (RAA)
said:
"We smile at
people even if in our hearts we are
cursing them."52
`Urwah ibn al-Zubayr
reported that `A'ishah told him:
"A man sought
permission to enter upon the Prophet
(PBUH), and he said, `Let him in, what
a bad son of his tribe (or bad brother
of his tribe) he is!' When the man
came in, the Prophet (PBUH) spoke to
him kindly and gently. I said: `O
Messenger of Allah, you said what you
said, then you spoke to him kindly.'
He said, `O `A'ishah, the worst of the
people in the sight of Allah (SWT) is
the one who is shunned by others or
whom people treat nicely because they
fear his sharp tongue.'"53
Being companionable,
friendly and kind towards people are
among the attributes of believing men
and women. Being humble, speaking gently
and avoiding harshness are approaches
that make people like one another and
draw closer to one another, as enjoined
by Islam, which encourages Muslims to
adopt these attitudes in their dealings
with others.
The true Muslim woman
is not swayed by her emotions when it
comes to love and hate. She is moderate,
objective, fair and realistic in her
treatment and opinions of those woman
whom she does not like, and allows
herself to be governed by her reason,
religion, chivalry and good attitude.
She does not bear witness except to the
truth, and she does not judge except
with justice, following the example of
the Mothers of the Believers, who were
the epitome of fairness, justice and
taqwa in their opinions of one
another.
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) was the closest of his
wives to the Prophet's heart, and her
main rival in this regard was Zaynab
bint Jahsh. It was natural for there to
be jealousy between them, but this
jealousy did not prevent either of them
from saying what was true about the
other and acknowledging her qualities
without undermining them.
In Sahih Muslim,
`A'ishah says of Zaynab:
"She was the one
who was somewhat equal in rank with me
in the eyes of the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH). I have never seen a woman
better in piety than Zaynab, or more
fearing of Allah (SWT), or more true
in speech, or more faithful in
upholding the ties of kinship, or more
generous in giving charity, or humble
enough to work with her hand s in
order to earn money that she could
spend for the sake of Allah (SWT).
However, she was hot-tempered and
quick to anger, but she would soon
cool down and then take the matter no
further."54
In Sahih Bukhari,
in the context of her telling of the
slander incident (al-ifk)
concerning which Allah (SWT) Himself
confirmed her total innocence, `A'ishah
referred to Zaynab's testimony
concerning her:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) asked Zaynab bint Jahsh
concerning me, saying: `O Zaynab, what
did you see? What have you learnt?'
She said, `O Messenger of Allah, I
protect my hearing and my sight (by
refraining from telling lies). I know
nothing but good about her.'"
Then `A'ishah said: "She is the
one who was my main rival, but Allah
(SWT) protected her (from telling
lies) because of her piety."55
Anyone who reads the
books of sirah and the
biographies of the Sahabah will
find many reports of the wives of the
Prophets which describe fairness and
mutual praise among co-wives.
Among these is Umm
Salamah's comment about Zaynab:
"Zaynab was very dear to the
Prophet (PBUH), and he liked to spend
time with her. She was righteous, and
frequently stood in prayer at night and
fasted during the day. She was skilled
(in handicrafts) and used to give
everything that she earned in charity to
the poor."
When Zaynab died,
`A'ishah said: "She has departed
praiseworthy and worshipping much, the
refuge of the orphans anwidows."56
When Maymunah died,
`A'ishah said: "By Allah (SWT),
Maymunah has gone. . . But by Allah
(SWT) she was one of the most pious of
us and one of those who was most
faithful in upholding the ties of
kinship."57
The wives of the
Prophet (PBUH) displayed this attitude
of fairness and justice towards co-wives
in spite of the jealousy, competition
and sensitivity that existed between
them. We can only imagine how great and
noble their attitude towards other women
was. By their behaviour and attitude,
they set the highest example for Muslim
woman of human co-existence that absorbs
all hatred by increasing the power of
reason and controls the strength of
jealousy - if it is present - by
strengthening the feelings of fairness,
good treatment and a sense of being
above such negative attitudes. Thus the
Muslim woman becomes fair towards those
women whom she does not like, regardless
of the degree of closeness between them,
fair when judging them, and wise,
rational and tactful in her treatment of
them.
She does not
rejoice in the misfortunes of others
The sincere Muslim
woman who is truly infused with Islamic
attitudes does not rejoice in the
misfortunes of anyone, because Schadenfreude
(malicious enjoyment of others'
misfortunes) is a vile, hurtful attitude
that should not exist in the God-fearing
woman who understands the teachings of
her religion. The Prophet (PBUH) forbade
this attitude and warned against it:
"Do not express
malicious joy at the misfortune of
your brother, for Allah (SWT) will
have mercy on him and inflict
misfortune on you."58
There is no room for Schadenfreude
in the heart of the Muslim woman in whom
Islam has instilled good manners.
Instead, she feels sorry for those who
are faced with trials and difficulties:
she hastens to help them and is filled
with compassion for their suffering. Schadenfreude
belongs only in those sick hearts that
are deprived of the guidance of Islam
and that are accustomed to plotting
revenge and seeking out means of harming
others.
She avoids
suspicion
Another attribute of
the true Muslim woman is that she does
not form unfounded suspicions about
anybody. She avoids suspicion as much as
possible, as Allah (SWT) has commanded
in the Qur'an:
( O you who believe!
Avoid suspicion as much [as possible]:
for suspicion in some cases is a sin .
. .) (Qur'an 49:12)
She understands that by
being suspicious of others she may fall
into sin, especially if she allows her
imagination free rein to dream up
possibilities and illusions, and accuses
them of shameful deeds of which they are
innocent. This is the evil suspicion
which is forbidden in Islam.
The Prophet (PBUH)
issued a stern warning against suspicion
and speculation that has no foundation
in reality. He (PBUH) said:
"Beware of
suspicion, for suspicion is the
falsest of speech."59
The Prophet (PBUH)
counted suspicion as being the falsest
of speech. The truly sincere Muslim
woman who is keen to speak the truth
always would never even allow words that
carry the stench of untruth to cross her
tongue, so how can she allow herself to
fall into the trap of uttering the
falsest of speech?
When the Prophet
(PBUH) warned against suspicion and
called it the falsest of speech, he was
directing the Muslims, men and women, to
take people at face value, and to avoid
speculating about them or doubting them.
It is not the attitude of a Muslim, nor
is it his business, to uncover people's
secrets, to expose their private
affairs, or to slander them. Only Allah
(SWT) knows what is in people's hearts,
and can reveal it or call them to
account for it, for only He knows all
that is secret and hidden. A man, in
contrast, knows nothing of his brother
except what he sees him do. This was the
approach of the Sahabah and Tabi`in
who received the pure and unadulterated
guidance of Islam.
`Abd al-Razzaq
reported from `Abdullah ibn `Utbah ibn
Mas`ud:
"I heard `Umar ibn
al-Khattab (RAA) say: `People who used
to follow the wahy (Revelation)
at the time of the Prophet (PBUH), but
now the wahy has ceased. So now
we take people at face value. If
someone appears good to us, we trust
him and form a close relationship with
him on the basis of what we see of his
deeds. We have nothing to do with his
inner thoughts, which are for Allah
(SWT) to judge. And if someone appears
bad to us, we do not trust him or
believe him, even if he tells us that
his inner thoughts are good."60
The true Muslim woman who
is adhering to that which will help her
to remember Allah (SWT) and do good
deeds, will exercise the utmost care in
every word she utters concerning her
Muslim sister, whether directly or
indirectly. She tries to be sure about
every judgement she makes about people,
always remembering the words of Allah
(SWT):
( And pursue not
that of which you have no knowledge;
for every act of hearing, or of
seeing, or of [feeling in] the heart
will be enquired into [on the Day of
Reckoning].) (Qur'an 17:36)
So she does not
transgress this wise and definitive
prohibition: she does not speak except
with knowledge, and she does not pass
judgement except with certainty.
The true Muslim woman
always reminds herself of the watching
angel who is assigned to record every
word she utters and every judgement she
forms, and this increases her fear of
falling into the sin of suspicion:
( Not a word does he
utter, but there is a sentinel by him,
ready [to note it].) (Qur'an
50:18)
The alert Muslim woman
understands the responsibility she bears
for every word she utters, because she
knows that these words may raise her to
a position where Allah (SWT) is pleased
with her, or they may earn her His
wrath, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A man could utter
a word that pleases Allah (SWT), and
not realize the consequences of it,
for Allah (SWT) may decree that he is
pleased with him because of it until
the Day he meets Him. Similarly, a man
could utter a word that angers Allah
(SWT), and not realize the
consequences of it, for Allah (SWT)
may decree that He is angry with him
because of it until the Day of
Resurrection."61
How great is our
responsibility for the words we utter!
How serious are the consequences of the
words that our garrulous tongues speak
so carelessly!
The true Muslim woman
who is God-fearing and intelligent does
not listen to people's idle talk, or pay
attention to the rumours and speculation
that are rife in our communities
nowadays, especially in the gatherings
of foolish and careless women.
Consequently she never allows herself to
pass on whatever she hears of such
rumours without being sure that they are
true. She believes that to do so would
be the kind of haram lie that was
clearly forbidden by the Prophet (PBUH):
"It is enough
lying for a man to repeat everything
that he hears."62
She refrains from
backbiting and
spreading malicious
gossip
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is conscious of Allah (SWT), fearing Him
in secret and in the open. She carefully
avoids uttering any word of slander or
malicious gossip that could anger her
Lord and include her among those
spreaders of malicious gossip who are
severely condemned in the Qur'an and
Sunnah.
When she reads the
words of Allah (SWT):
( . . . Nor speak
ill of each other behind their backs.
Would any of you like to eat the flesh
of his dead brother? Nay, you would
abhor it . . . But fear Allah, for
Allah is Oft-Returning, Most
Merciful.) (Qur'an 49:12)
she is filled with
revulsion for the hateful crime of
gossip, which is likened to the eating
of her dead sister's flesh. So she
hastens to repent, as Allah (SWT)
commands at the end of the ayah,
encouraging the one who has fallen into
the error of backbiting to repent
quickly from it.
She aheeds the words
of the Prophet (PBUH), who said:
"The Muslim is the
one from whose tongue and whose hand
the Muslims are safe."63
So she feels that gossip
is a sin which does not befit the Muslim
woman who has uttered the words of the Shahadah,
and that the woman who is used to gossip
in social gatherings is not among the
righteous Muslim women.
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"I said to the
Prophet (PBUH), `It is enough for you
that Safiyyah is such-and-such.'"
Snarrators said that she meant she was
short of stature. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "You have spoken a word
that, if it were to mixed with the
waters of the sea, it would
contaminate them."64
The Muslim woman pays
attention to the description of the
seven acts that may lead to a person's
condemnation, which the Prophet (PBUH)
called on people to avoid. In this list,
she finds something that is even worse
and more dangerous than mere gossip,
namely the slander of chaste, innocent
believing women, which is a sin that
some women fall into in their
gatherings:
"Avoid (the) seven
things that could lead to
perdition." It was asked, "O
Messenger of Allah, what are
they?" He said: "Shirk
[associating any partner with Allah
(SWT)]; witchcraft (sihr);
killing anyone for whom Allah (SWT)
has forbidden killing, except in the
course of justice; consuming the
wealth of the orphan; consuming riba
(usury); running away from the
battlefield; and slandering chaste and
innocent believing women."65
The Muslim woman who
truly understands this teaching takes
the issue of gossip very seriously, and
does not indulge in any type of gossip
or tolerate anyone to gossip in her
company. She defends her sisters from
hostile gossip and refutes whatever bad
things are being said about them, in
accordance with the words of the Prophet
(PBUH):
"Whoever defends
the flesh of his brother in his
absence, Allah (SWT) will save him
from the Fire."66
The true Muslim woman
also refrains from spreading malicious
gossip, because she understands the
dangerous role it plays in spreading
evil and corruption in society and
breaking the ties of love and friendship
between its members, as the Prophet
(PBUH) explained:
"The best of the
servants of Allah (SWT) are those who,
when they are seen, Allah (SWT) is
remembered (i.e., they are very
pious). The worst of the servants of
Allah (SWT) are those who spread
malicious gossip, cause division
between friends, and seek to cause
trouble for innocent people."67
It is enough for the
woman who spreads malicious gossip and
causes trouble between friends and
splits them up to know that if she
persists in her evil ways, there awaits
her humiliation in this life and a
terrible destiny in the next, as the
Prophet (PBUH) declared that the
blessings of Paradise will be denied to
every person who spreads malicious
gossip. This is stated clearly in the sahih
hadith:
"The one who
engages in malicious gossip will not
enter Paradise."68
What fills the believing
woman's heart with fear and horror of
the consequences of spreading malicious
gossip is the fact that Allah (SWT) will
pour His punishment upon the one who
engaged in this sin from the moment he
or she is laid in the grave. We find
this in the hadith which Bukhari, Muslim
and others narrated from Ibn `Abbas
(RAA):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) passed by two graves, and
said: `They are being punished, but
they are not being punished for any
major sin. One of them used to spread
malicious gossip, and the other used
not to clean himself properly after
urinating.'" He (Ibn `Abbas)
said: "He called for a green
branch and split it in two, then
planted a piece on each grave and
said, `May their punishment be reduced
so long as these remain fresh.'"69
She avoids cursing and
foul language
The Muslim woman who
has absorbed the good manners taught by
Islam never utters obscene language or
foul words, or offends people with
curses and insults, bacause she knows
that the moral teachings of Islam
completely forbid all such talk. Cursing
is seen as a sin that damages the
quality of a person's adherance to
Islam, and the foul-mouthed person is
intensely disliked by Allah (SWT).
Ibn Mas`ud (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Cursing a Muslim is a
sin and killing him is kufr.'"70
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) does
not love anyone who is foul-mouthed
and obscene."71
"Allah (SWT)
will hate the disgusting, foul-mouthed
person."72
It is a quality that does
not befit the Muslim woman who has been
guided by the truth of Islam and whose
heart has been filled with the sweetness
of faith. So she keeps far away from
disputes and arguments in which cheap
insults and curses are traded. The alert
Muslim woman is further encouraged to
avoid such moral decadence whenever she
remembers the beautiful example set by
the Prophet (PBUH) in all his words and
deeds. It is known that he never uttered
any words that could hurt a person's
feelings, damage his reputation or
insult his honour.
Anas ibn Malik (RAA),
who accompanied the Prophet (PBUH)
closely for many years, said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never used foul language, or
cursed, or swore. When he wanted to
rebuke someone, he would say, `What is
wrong with him? May his forehead be
covered with dust!'"73
He even refrained from
cursing the kafirin who had
hardened their hearts to his message. He
never spoke a harmful word to them, as
the great Sahabi Abu Hurayrah
said:
"It was said: `O
Messenger of Allah, pray against the mushrikin.'
He said, `I was not sent as a curse,
but I was sent as a mercy.'"74
The Prophet (PBUH)
excelled in removing the roots of evil,
hatred and enmity in people's hearts
when he explained to the Muslims that
the one who gives his tongue free rein
in slandering people and their wealth
and honour is the one who is truly
ruined in this world and the next. His
aggressive attitude towards others will
cancel out whatever good deeds he may
have done in his life, and on the Day of
Judgement he will be abandoned, with no
protection from the Fire:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Do you know who is the
one who is ruined? They said, `It is
the one who has no money or
possessions.' He said, `The one who is
ruined among my ummah is the
one who comes on the Day of
Resurrection with prayer, fasting and zakat
to his credit, but he insulted this
one, slandered that one, devoured this
one's wealth, shed that one's blood,
and beat that one. So some of his hasanat
will be given to this one and some to
that one. . . And if his hasanat
run out before all his victims have
been compensated, then some of their
sins will be taken and added to his,
then he will be thrown into
Hell.'"75
Not surprisingly,
therefore, all of this nonsense is
eliminated from the life of true Muslim
women. Disputes and arguments which
could lead to curses and insults are
rare in the community of true Muslim
women that is based on the virtues of
good manners, respect for the feelings
of others, and a refined level of social
interaction.
She does not make
fun of anybody
The Muslim woman whose
personality has been infused with a
sense of humility and resistance to
pride and arrogance cannot make fun of
anybody. The Qur'anic guidance which has
instilled those virtues in her also
protects her from scorning or despising
other women:
( O you who believe!
Let not some men among you laugh at
others: it may be that the [latter]
are better than the [former]: nor let
some women laugh at others: it may be
that the [latter] are better than the
[former]: nor defame nor be sarcastic
to each other, nor call each other by
[offensive] nicknames: ill-seeming is
a name connoting wickedness, [to be
used of one] after he has believed:
and those who do not desist are
[indeed] doing wrong.) (Qur'an
49:11)
The Muslim woman also
learns the attitude of modesty and
gentleness from the example of the
Prophet (PBUH), so she avoids being
arrogant and scorning or looking down on
others when she reads the words of the
Prophet (PBUH) as reported by Muslim,
stating that despising her fellow Muslim
women is pure evil:
"It is sufficient
evil for a man to despise his Muslim
brother."76
She is gentle and kind
towards people
It is in the nature of
women to be gentle and kind, which is
more befitting to them. This is why
women are known as the "fairer
sex."
The Muslim woman who
has truly been guided by Islam is even
more kind and gentle towards the women
around her, because gentleness and
kindness are characteristics which Allah
(SWT) loves in His believing servants
and which make the one who possesses
them dear to others:
( Nor can Goodness
and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with
what is better: then will he between
whom and you was hatbecome as it were
your friend and intimate! And no one
will be granted such goodness except
those who exercise patience and
self-restraint - none but persons of
the greatest good fortune.)
(Qur'an 41:34-35)
Many ayat and ahadith
reinforce the message that gentleness
and kindness are to be encouraged and
that they are noble virtues that should
prevail in the Muslim community and
characterize every Muslim member of that
community who truly understands the
guidance of Islam. It is sufficient for
the Muslim woman to know that kindness
is one of the attributes of Allah (SWT)
that He has encouraged His servants to
adopt in all their affairs.
"Allah (SWT) is
Kind and loves kindness in all
affairs."77
Kindness is a tremendous
virtue which Allah (SWT) rewards in a
way unlike any other:
"Allah (SWT) is
kind and loves kindness, and He
rewards it in a way that He does not
reward harshness, and in a way unlike
any other."78
The Prophet (PBUH)
praised kindness, regarding it as an
adornment that beautifies and
encouraging others to adopt this trait:
"There is no
kindness in a thing but it makes it
beautiful, and there is no absence of
kindness in a thing but it makes it
repugnant."79
The Prophet (PBUH) taught
the Muslims to be kind in their dealings
with people, and to behave in an
exemplary manner as befits the Muslim
who is calling people to the religion of
Allah (SWT), the Kind and Merciful, no
matter how provocative the situation.
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"A Bedouin
urinated in the mosque, and the people
got up to sort him out. But the
Prophet (PBUH) said, `Leave him be,
and throw a bucket of water over his
urine, for you have been raised to be
easy on people, not hard on
them.'"80
Kindness, gentleness and
tolerance, not harshness, aggression and
rebukes, are what open people's hearts
to the message of truth. The Prophet
(PBUH) used to advise the Muslims:
"Be cheerful, not
threatening, and make things easy, not
difficult."81
People are naturally put
off by rudeness and harshness, but they
are attracted by kindness and
gentleness. Hence Allah (SWT) said to
His Prophet (PBUH):
( . . . Were you
severe or harsh-hearted, they would
have broken away from about you.) (Qur'an
3:159)
This is an eternal
declaration that applies to every woman
who seeks to call other women to Islam.
She has to find a good way to reach
their hearts, for which purpose she
utilizes every means of kindness,
gentleness and tact at her disposal. If
she encounters any hostility or
resistance, then no doubt a kind word
will reach their hearts and have the
desired effect on the hearts of the
women she addresses. This is what Allah
(SWT) told His Prophet Musa (PBUH ) and
his brother Harun when He sent them to
Pharaoh:
( Go, both of you,
to Pharaoh, for he has indeed
transgressed all bounds; but speak to
him mildly; perchance he may take
warning or fear [Allah].) (Qur'an
20:43-44)
Not surprisingly,
kindness, according to Islam, is all
goodness. Whoever attains it has been
given all goodness, and whoever has been
denied it has been denied all goodness.
We see this in the hadith narrated by
Jarir ibn `Abdullah, who said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:
`Whoever has been denied kindness has
been denied all goodness.'"82
The Prophet (PBUH)
explained that this goodness will be
bestowed upon individuals, households
and peoples when kindness prevails in
their lives and is one of their foremost
characteristics. We find this in the
hadith of `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her) in which the Prophet (PBUH)
told her:
"O `A'ishah, be
kind, for if Allah (SWT) wills some
good to a household, He guides them to
kindness."83
According to another
report, he (PBUH) said:
"If Allah (SWT)
wills some good to a household, He
instils kindness in them."84
Jabir (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `If Allah (SWT) wills
some good to a people, He instils
kindness in them.'"85
What greater goodness can
there be than a characteristic that will
protect a man from Hell? As the Prophet
(PBUH) said in another hadith:
"Shall I not tell
you who shall be forbidden from the
Fire, or from whom the Fire will be
forbidden? It will be forbidden for
every gentle, soft-hearted and kind
person."86
The teachings of the
Prophet (PBUH) take man a step further,
by instilling in him the attitude of
kindness and requiring him to be kind
even to the animals he slaughters. This
is counted as one of the highest levels
that the pious and righteous may reach:
"Allah (SWT) has
prescribed proficiency87 in
all things. Thus if you kill, kill
well, and if you slaughter, slaughter
well. Let each one of you sharpen his
blade and let him spare suffering to
the animal he slaughters."88
Kindness to dumb animals
that are to be slaughtered is indicative
of the kindness of the man who
slaughters them, and of his mercy
towards all living creatures. The more a
person understands this and treats all
living creatures well, the more kind and
gentle a person he is. This is the
ultimate goal towards which Islam is
guiding the Muslim, so that he is kind
even to animals.
The true Muslim woman
can imagine the comprehensiveness of the
Islamic teachings enjoining kindness
upon the sons of Adam, when even animals
are included.
She is
compassionate and merciful
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is compassionate and merciful, for she
understands that the compassion of
people on earth will cause the mercy of
heaven to be showered upon them. She
knows that the one who does not show
compassion towards others will not
receive the mercy of Allah (SWT), and
that the mercy of Allah (SWT) is not
withheld except from the one who is lost
and doomed, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Have compassion
on those who are on earth so that the
One Who is in heaven will have mercy
on you."89
"Whoever shoes
not show compassion to people, Allah
(SWT) will not show mercy to
him."90
"Compassion is
not taken away except from the one who
is doomed."91
The true Muslim woman
does not limit her compassion only to
her family, children, relatives and
friends, but she extends it to include
all people. This is in accordance with
the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH),
which include all people and make
compassion a condition of faith:
"You will not
believe until you have compassion
towards one another." They said,
"O Messenger of Allah, all of us
are compassionate." He said,
"It is not the compassion of any
of you towards his friend, but it is
compassion towards all people and
compassion towards the common
folk."92
This is comprehensive,
all-embracing compassion which Islam has
awoken in the hearts of Muslim men and
women, and made one of their
distinguishing characteristics, so that
the Muslim community - men and women,
rich and poor, all of its members - may
become an integrated, caring community
filled with compassion, brotherly love
and true affection.
The Prophet (PBUH) was
a brilliant example of sincere
compassion. If he heard a child crying
when he was leading the people in
prayer, he would shorten the prayer, out
of consideration for the mother's
feelings and concern for her child.
Bukhari and Muslim
report from Anas (RAA) that the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"I commenced the
prayer, and I intended to make it
long, but I heard a child crying, so I
cut my prayer short because of the
distress I knew his mother would be
feeling."93
A Bedouin came to
the Prophet (PBUH) and asked, "Do
you kiss your sons? For we do not kiss
them." He said, "What can I
do for you when Allah (SWT) has
removed compassion from your
heart?"94
Prophet (PBUH)
kissed al-Hasan ibn `Ali when al-Aqra`
ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting with
him. Al-Aqra` said: "I have ten
children and I have never kissed any
of them." The Prophet (PBUH)
looked at him and said, "The one
who does not show compassion will not
be shown mercy."95
`Umar (RAA) wanted
to appoint a man to some position of
authority over the Muslims, then he
heard him say something like al-Aqra`
ibn Habis had said, i.e., that he did
not kiss his children. So `Umar
changed his mind about appointing him
and said, "If your heart does not
beat with compassion towards your own
children, how will you be merciful
towards thepeople? By Allah (SWT), I
will never appoint you." Then he
tore up the document he had prepared
concerning the man's appointment.
The Prophet (PBUH)
extended the feeling of mercy in the
hearts of Muslim men and women to cover
animals as well as humans. This is
reflected in a number of sahih ahadith,
such as that reported by Bukhari and
Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, in which the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A man was walking
along the road when he felt very
thirsty. He saw a well, so he went
down into it, drank his fill, then
came out. He saw a dog panting and
biting the dust with thirst, and said,
`This dog's thirst is as severe as
mine was.' So he went back down into
the well, filled his shoes with water,
held them in his mouth (while he
climbed out), and gave the dog water.
Allah (SWT) thanked him and forgave
him." They asked, "O
Messenger of Allah, will we be
rewarded for kindness towards
animals?" He said, "In every
living creature there is reward."96
Bukhari and Muslim also
narrate from Ibn `Umar that the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"A woman was
punished because of a cat which she
locked up until it died of starvation.
She was thrown into Hell. It was said
- and Allah (SWT) knows best - `You
did not feed her or give her water
when you locked her up, neither did
you let her roam free so that she
could eat of the vermin of the
earth.'"97
The Prophet (PBUH)
reached such heights of mercy that
once, when he and his Companions
stopped in some place, a bird appeared
above his head, as if she were seeking
his help and complaining to him of the
wrongdoing of a man who had taken her
egg. He said, "Which of you has
distressed her by taking her
egg?" A man said, "O
Messenger of Allah, I have taken
it." The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Put it back, out of mercy to
her."98
The Prophet (PBUH)
wanted, in this instance, to instil a
sense of all-encompassing mercy in the
conscience of the Muslims, men and women
alike, so that they would become
compassionate by nature, even to
animals, because whoever has the heart
to be kind to animals will not be harsh
towards his human brother.
The Prophet (PBUH) was
full of compassion towards humans and
animals alike. He never stopped
encouraging compassion among people, and
sought to instil it deeply in the hearts
of Muslim men and women, stating that it
was the key to Allah's (SWT) mercy,
forgiveness and reward. Allah (SWT)
would forgive those who were
compassionate, even if they were
sinners.
In Sahih Muslim,
Abu Hurayrah said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `A dog was walking
around a well, almost dying of thirst,
when a Jewish prostitute saw him. She
took off her shoe, brought water to
him and gave him to drink. She was
forgiven because of this deed."99
How great is the blessing
of compassion and mercy for mankind!
What beautiful attributes they are! It
is sufficient honour and status to know
that the Lord of Glory and Majesty
derived His own name from rahmah
(mercy, compassion), and is called al-Rahim,
al-Rahman.
She strives for
people's benefit and seeks
to protect them
from harm
The Muslim woman who
has been truly guided by Islam is keen
to be constructive and active in good
and beneficial deeds, not only for
herself, but for all people. So she
always looks for opportunities to do
good, and hastens to do as much as she
can, in obedience to the words of the
Qur'an:
( . . .And do good,
that you may prosper.)
(Qur'an 22:77)
She knows that doing good
to others is an act or worship, so long
as it is done purely for the sake of
Allah (SWT). The door to good deeds is
open to all Muslims, to enter whenever
they wish and earn the mercy and
pleasure of Allah (SWT). There are many
aspects to goodness and piety, and they
take many forms. Goodness includes all
those who work for the sake of Allah
(SWT), and any good deed that is done
for the sake of Allah (SWT) will be
rewarded as an act of charity (sadaqah)
in the record of their deeds:
"Every good deed
is a sadaqah."100
"A good word is
a sadaqah."101
The mercy of Allah (SWT)
encompasses every Muslim woman whose
heart is pure and whose intention is
sincerely to please Allah (SWT). It
applies to her if she does good, and if
she does not do good, so long as she
refrains from doing evil:
Abu Musa (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Every Muslim must give
charity.' Someone asked, `What if he
finds he has nothing with which to
give charity?' He said, `Let him work
with his two hands and benefit himself
and give charity (from his earnings).'
Someone said, `What if he does not do
that?' He said, `Let him help one who
is in desperate need.' Someone said,
`What if he does not do that?' He
said, `Let him enjoin what is good.'
Someone said, `What if he does not do
that?' He said, `Let him refrain from
doing evil, and that will be an act of
charity.'"102
The Prophet (PBUH) began
this hadith with the words, "Every
Muslim must give charity," then he
went on to list various types of good
deeds and acts of kindness by means of
which a Muslim man or woman may earn
reward for doing charity. Charity is a
duty on the Muslim woman, that is, she
must undertake deeds that are socially
constructive in her community. If she is
unable to do so, or does not do so for
any reason, then at least she can
restrain her tongue and refrain from
doing evil; in this, too, there is
reward. Thus both her positive and
negative aspects (i.e., what she does
and what she does not do) will be
directed towards the service of the
truth upon which the Muslim community is
built. The Muslim is "the one from
whose tongue and hand the Muslims are
safe."103
So the Muslim woman is
always keen to do good, and hastens to
do it, hoping that she will be the one
to do it. She keeps away from evil, and
is determined never to indulge in it. In
this way she is one of the best Muslims
in the Muslim community, as the Prophet
(PBUH) said in the hadith narrated by
Imam Ahmad:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) stood up before some people who
were seated and said: `Shall I tell
you the best of you and the worst of
you?' The people were silent, so he
repeated it three times, then one man
said, `Yes, O Messenger of Allah.' He
said: `The best of you is the one from
whom people expect good deeds, and
from whose evil deeds people are safe;
the worst of you is the one from whom
people expect good deeds but from
whose evil deeds people are not
safe.'"104
The Muslim woman who
truly understands her Islam is one of
those from whom good deeds are expected
and from whose evil deeds people are
safe. She is eager to do good deeds in
this life, and she knows that her
efforts will not be wasted, as she will
be rewarded for it in this world and the
next:
"Whoever relieves
a believer of some of the distress of
this world, Allah (SWT) will relieve
him of some of the distress of the Day
of Resurrection, and whoever comes to
the aid of one who is going through
hardship, Allah (SWT) will come to his
aid in this world and the next."105
The Muslim woman never
spares any effort to do good deeds
whenever she is able. How could she do
otherwise, when she knows from the
teachings of the Prophet (PBUH) that
failing to do good when one is able to
do so carries the threat of losing the
blessings of Allah (SWT):
"Never does Allah
(SWT) bless a servant with abundant
bounty, then some needs of the people
are brought to his attention and he
feels annoyed and reluctant to help
them, but that blessing will be exposed
to the threat of loss."106
The Muslim woman does
not think little any good deed, no
matter how small it may be, so long as
it is accompanied by a sincere intention
to please Allah (SWT). Doing good may
consist of protecting the Muslims from
harm, as is brilliantly described in a
number of ahadith, for example:
"I have seen a man
who was enjoying the luxuries of
Paradise because he removed a tree
from the side of the road that used to
harm the people."107
There are two aspects to
doing good, and Muslims are obliged to
do both of them and to compete with one
another in earning the pleasure of Allah
(SWT) by doing them. They are: doing
good deeds and seeking to benefit the
people, and protecting the people from
harm.
Seeking to protect the
Muslims from harm is no less
importantthan doing good and working for
their benefit; both count as righteous
deeds for which a person will be reward.
All societies, no matter what their
geographical location or historical era,
need both of these deeds, operating in
tandem. When both are present, goodness
will spread in society, the ties of
friendship will be established between
its members, and their quality of life
will be much improved. This is what
Islam seeks to achieve when it
constantly encourages Muslims to do good
to people and to seek to protect them
from harm.
Among the teachings
which direct Muslim to protect others
from harm is the hadith narrated by Abu
Barzah, who said:
"I said, `O
Messenger of Allah, teach me something
that I may benefit from.' He said,
`Remove anything harmful from the path
of the Muslims."108
According to another
report, Abu Barzah said:
"O Messenger of
Allah, tell me of a deed that will
admit me to Paradise." The
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Remove
anything harmful from the road; this
will be an act of charity on your
part."
What a highly-developed,
civil community is the society that
Islam has built and instilled in each of
its members the idea that the good deeds
which will bring one closer to Allah
(SWT) and admit one to Paradise include
removing anything harmful from the path
of the people!
Humanity today is in
the greatest need of this
highly-developed, civil society that
Islam builds, in which every member
feels that his contribution to the good
of society will bring him closer to
Allah (SWT) and grant him entrance to
Paradise, even if his good deeds went no
further than removing something harmful
from the road. There is a huge
difference between the society which
forms sensitive souls such as these, who
cannot bear to see carelessness and
backwardness, and the society which pays
no attention to the development of its
members, so you see them not caring if
the garbage and hazardous waste that
they throw in the road harms people, and
the authorities in those backward
societies are obliged to issue laws and
regulations to punish those who commit
these offences.
How great is the
difference between the society that is
guided by Islam, whose members hasten to
remove anything harmful from the road in
obedience to Allah's command and in hope
of reward from Him, and the society
which has deviated from the guidance of
Allah (SWT), whose members do not care
on whom their garbage lands when they
throw it from their balconies, windows
and rooftops!
The civilized Western
world has managed to excel in such
matters of organization by making
individuals become accustomed to
respecting the system and following it
strictly. But this high level of social
organization in the West still falls far
short of the true Islamic ideal, for one
good reason: the Muslim who has received
a sound Islamic education is even
stricter and more sincere in adhering to
the system, because he believes that
stepping beyond the limits is an act of
disobedience towards Allah (SWT), Who
will punish him on the Day ( whereon
neither wealth nor sons will avail, but
only he [will prosper] that brings to
Allah a sound heart.) (Qur'an
26:88-89). Moreover, the Westerner does
not see anything seriously wrong with
transgressing the bounds of the system.
His conscience may or may not trouble
him, but there the matter ends,
especially if the authorities are
unaware of it.
She helps to
alleviate the burden of the debtor
The true Muslim woman
is distinguished by the nature of her
moral and psychological make-up, and by
her tolerant and easy-going personality.
So if she is owed anything by her sister
and her sister is in difficulty when the
time comes to pay the debt, she
postpones payment until another time,
until the period of hardship is over, in
obedience to the words of the Qur'an:
( If the debtor is
in difficulty, grant him time till it
is easy for him to repay . . . )
(Qur'an 2:280)
Postponing debts is a
generous attitude, one that is
encouraged by Islam because it brings
about humane standards in one's dealing
with one's brother, even if he is in
debt.
The Muslim woman who
is infused with this humane attitude of
postponing payment of her sister's debts
is acting in obedience to the commands
of Allah (SWT), storing up righteous
deeds for her Hereafter that will save
her from affliction on the Day of
Judgement and shade her in the shade of
Allah's Throne on the Day when there is
no other shade:
Abu Qutadah (RAA)
said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: Whoever
would like Allah (SWT) to save him
from the hardship of the Day of
Resurrection, let him alleviate the
burden of a debtor109, or
write off (part of the debt)."110
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Whoever allows a
debtor to postpone payment, or writes
off part of the debt, Allah (SWT) will
place him under the shade of His
Throne on the Day of Resurrection, the
Day when there will be no shade except
His.'"111
The true Muslim woman is
able to take the matter further and rise
to a higher level, if she is well-off,
by letting her sister off paying all or
part of the debt. This will earn her a
great reward, as Allah (SWT) will
compensate her for letting her sister
off by letting her off even more,
forgiving her for her errors and
shortcomings, and saving her from the
horror of the Day of Judgement.
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `There was a man
who used to lend money to the people.
He used to tell his employee: "If
you come across any debtor who is in
difficulty, let him off. Perhaps Allah
(SWT) will let us off." So when
he met Allah (SWT), He let him
off.'"112
Abu Mas`ud al-Badri (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `A man from among
those who were before you was called
to account, and no good deeds were
found in his record except that he
used to have dealings with the people,
and he was rich, so he used to tell
his employees to let off those debtors
who were in difficulty. Allah (SWT),
may He be glorified, said: "We
should be more generous than he, so
let him off."'"113
Hudhayfah (RAA) said:
"Allah (SWT)
brought to account one of His servants
to whom he had given wealth, and asked
him, `What did you do in the dunya?'
He said - and no-one can hide a single
thing from Allah (SWT) - `O my Lord,
you gave me wealth, and I used to
trade with people. It was my habit to
be lenient; I would be easy-going with
the one who could afford to pay his
debt, and I would allow the one who
was in difficulty to postpone
payment.' Allah (SWT) said, `I should
be more generous than you; let My
servant off.'" `Uqbah ibn `Amir
and Abu Mas`ud al-Ansari said,
"We heard something like this
from the mouth of the Prophet
(PBUH)."114
She is generous
One of the
characteristics of the Muslim woman who
adheres to the teachings of Islam is
that she is generous and gives freely;
her hands are always stretched forth to
give to those who are in need. Whenever
she hears the call of one who is in
difficulty, or it is appropriate to give
generously, she responds to the need.
She is certain that
whatever she gives will not go to waste,
for it is recorded with One Who has full
knowledge of all things:
( . . . And whatever
of good you give, be assured that
Allah knows it well.) (Qur'an
2:273)
She also believes, when
she spends her money generously, that
whatever she spends will come back to
her manifold, and that Allah (SWT) will
multiply its rewain this world and the
next:
( The parable of
those who spend their substance in the
way of Allah is that of a grain of
corn: it grows seven ears, and each
ear has a hundred grains. Allah gives
manifold increase to whom He pleases:
and Allah cares for all and He knows
all things.) (Qur'an 2:261)
( . . . And
nothing do you spend in the least [in
His Cause] but He replaces it . . .) (Qur'an
34:39)
( . . . Whatever
of good you give benefits your own
souls, and you shall only do so
seeking the `Face'115 of
Allah. Whatever good you give, shall
be rendered back to you, and you shall
not be dealt with unjustly.) (Qur'an
2:272)
She also knows that if
she is not saved from the meanness of
her own nature and her desire to hoard
wealth and treasure, she will eventually
lher wealth and it will be wasted, as
the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Every morning
that the servants of Allah (SWT) get
up, two angels come down. One of them
says, `O Allah, give compensation to
the one who spends,' and the other
says, `O Allah, cause loss to the one
who is stingy.'"116
And in a hadith qudsi:
"Spend, O son of
Adam, and I shall spend on you."117
The true Muslim woman
believes that spending money for the
sake of Allah (SWT) will never decrease
her wealth in the slightest; rather, it
will bless, purify and increase it, as
the Prophet (PBUH) stated:
"Charity does not
decrease wealth . . ."118
She knows that
whatever she spends for the sake of
Allah (SWT) is in fact that which is
truly saved, because it is recorded in
the book of her good deeds, whilst
everything else will eventually
disappear. The Prophet (PBUH) drew the
Muslims' attention to this higher
understanding of generous giving when
he asked `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) what was left of the
sheep they had slaughtered. She told
him, "Nothing but the
shoulder." He said,
"Everything except the shoulder
is saved."119
The true Muslim woman is
highly motivated by all of this to give
generously of whatever possessions and
goods come to her.
An example of giving
on the part of Muslim women is the
well-known report narrated by Bukhari
from Ibn `Abbas (RAA), who said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) went out on the day of `Eid and
prayed two rak`ahs with no
prayer before or after them (i.e., he
prayed only two rak`ahs). Then
he came to the women, and commanded
them to give in charity, so they
started to give their earrings and
necklaces in charity."120
According to another
report also given by Bukhari:
"He (PBUH) came to
the women and commanded them to give
in charity, so they began to throw
their rings into Bilal's cloak."121
A third report by
Bukhari, narrating from Ibn `Abbas
states that the Prophet (PBUH) prayed
two rak`ahs on the day of `Eid
with no prayer before or after them
(i.e., he prayed only two rak`ahs),
then he came to the women, and Bilal
was accompanying him; he commanded
them to give in charity, and the women
began to throw down their earrings.122
The wives of the Prophet
(PBUH) and the women of the salaf
set the highest example of generous
giving, and their deeds are recorded by
history in letters of light.
In his biography of
`A'ishah given in Siyar a`lam
al-nubala', al-Dhahabi states that
she gave seventy thousand dirhams
in charity, at the time when she was
putting patches on her shield.
Mu`awiyah sent her a
hundred thousand dirhams, and she
gave it all away in charity before
evening fell. Her servant said to her,
"Why did you not buy a dirham's
worth of meat with it?" She said,
"Why did you not tell me to do
so?"
Mu`awiyah also sent
her bracelets worth a hundred thousand,
which she shared out among the other
wives of the Prophet (PBUH).
Ibn al-Zubayr sent her
money in two containers, to the amount
of a hundred thousand. She called for a
large tray, and began to share the money
among the people. When evening came, she
said, "O young girl, bring me my fatur
(food with which to break fast),"
for she, (May Allah be pleased with
her), used to fast all the time. The
young girl said to her, "O Mother
of the Believers, could you not have
bought us a dirham's worth of
meat?" She said, "Do not
rebuke me; if you had reminded me I
would have done so."
Her sister Asma' was
no less generous. `Abdullah ibn
al-Zubayr (RAA) said: "I never saw
two women more generous than `A'ishah
and Asma', but their ways of being
generous were different. `A'ishah would
accumulate things and then share them
out, whilst Asma' would never keep
anything until the next day."
The Prophet's wife
Zaynab bint Jahsh used to work with
her own hands and give in charity from
her earnings. She was the most
generous of the Prophet's wives in
giving freely and doing good deeds.
According to a hadith narrated by Imam
Muslim from `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her), the Prophet (PBUH)
told his wives about Zaynab: "The
first of you to join me (after death)
will be the one who has the longest
hand." `A'ishah said: "They
began to measure their hands against
one another to see who had the longest
hand, and the one who had the longest
hands of all of us was Zaynab, because
she used to work with her hands and
give charity from her earnings."123
`Umar ibn al-Khattab
(RAA) sent Zaynab her annual salary, and
when it was brought to her, she said:
"May Allah forgive `Umar! Others of
my sisters are more capable of sharing
this out than I am." They told her,
"This is all for you." She
said, "Subhan Allah! Pour it
out and cover it with a cloth."
Then she told Barzah bint Rafi`, the
narrator of this report: "Put your
hand in and take a handful of it, and
take it to Bani So-and-so and Bani
So-and-so" - who were orphans or
related to her. This was repeated until
there was only a little left under the
cloth. Barzah bint Rafi` said to Zaynab:
"May Allah forgive you, O Mother of
the Believers! By Allah (SWT), it is our
right to have some." Zaynab said:
"What is left under the cloth is
for you." (Barzah bint Rafi`) said
that they found eighty-five dirhams
under the cloth. Zaynab said, "O
Allah, do not let me live to receive
another payment like this from
`Umar," and she died before the
time for the next payment came.124
Ibn Sa`d reported that
when the money was brought to Zaynab,
she started saying, "O Allah, do
not let me see this money again next
year, for it is a fitnah
(temptation)." Then she shared it
out among her relatives and those who
were in need, until it was all gone.
`Umar (RAA) heard about this, and said,
"This women is destined for
good." He stood at her door and
conveyed his salam to her, then
said: "I have heard about what you
gave out to others. Send her a thousand dirhams
to keep for herself." But she did
the same thing with that money, and did
not even keep a single dirham or dinar
for herself.
Among the women to
whose generosity history bears witness
is Sakinah bint al-Husayn who would give
generously of whatever she had. If she
had no money, she would take off her own
jewellery and give it to those who were
destitute.
`Atikah bint Yazid ibn
Mu`awiyah gave up all of her money to
the poor members of Abu Sufyan's family.
Umm al-Banin, the
sister of `Umar ibn `Abd al-`Aziz, was a
marvellous example of generous giving.
She said, "Everyone has a passion,
and my passion is giving." She used
to free slaves every week, and equip
horsemen to fight for the sake of Allah
(SWT). She would say, "Uff
to stinginess! If it were a shirt I
would not wear it, and if it were a road
I would not follow it."125
Zubaydah, the wife of
the khalifah Harun al-Rashid, had
a channel dug to being water from
springs and rain-pools to Makkah, to
provide fresh water for the inhabitants
of the city and for the pilgrims. This
was named `Ayn Zubaydah (the
spring of Zubaydah), and was known as
one of the wonders of the world at that
time. When her treasurer objected to the
high cost of this project, she told him:
"Do it, even if every single blow
of the axe costs a dinar."
If we were to discuss
all the women in our history who were
pioneers of generous giving, we could
fill entire volumes. It is enough for us
to know that these kinds of generous,
charitable, believing women have never
disappeared from Muslim societie, from
the dawn of Islam until the present day.
In every era and region of the Islamic
world, these women have held a noble and
prominent position, and their generosity
is enshrined in the many awqaf, charitable
institutions, schools, mosques,
hospitals, etc., that exist throughout
the Muslim lands. These women sought out
areas of need, poverty, deprivation and
misery, and showered their generosity on
the less fortunate by establishing
charitable institutions that would
benefit the Muslims. They wiped away the
tears of the orphan, relieved the
suffering of the wretched, eased the
hardship of the afflicted and clothed
the body of the naked.
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of her
religion never looks down upon any
charitable deed, no matter how small it
may be; she strives to do as much as she
is able, firmin her conviction that
Allah (SWT) will reward her good deeds,
no matter how small, as Allah (SWT)
says:
( On no soul does
Allah place a burden greater than it
can bear... ) (Qur'an 2:286)
She also responds to the
words of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Protect yourselfs
from the Fire even if it is with half
a date"126
"O `A'ishah,
protect yourself from the Fire, even
if it is only with half a date, for it
can benefit a hungry person as much as
one who has enough to eat."127
The Muslim woman may give
charity with whatever she possesses of
the food she has at home or her
husband's money, so long as he is happy
for her to do so. In this case, she will
be rewarded for what she spends, her
husband will be rewarded for what he has
earned, and the treasurer will also be
rewarded, as is stated in a number of
hadith narrated by Bukhari, Muslim and
others, for example:
"If a women gives
in charity of the food of her house
(according to a report given by
Muslim: of the house of her husband),
without spending in such a way as
could cause ruin to her husband, then
she will be rewarded for what he
earns, and the treasurer will be
similarly rewarded, and the reward of
any one of them will not detract from
the reward of another."128
Islam wants the Muslims,
men and women, to be constructive,
beneficial members of their societies,
always helping those who are deprived
and destitute, to the best of their
abilities. Every good deed is described
as an act of charity (sadaqah), as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Every Muslim must
give charity." They said, "O
Messenger of Allah, what if he cannot
do that?" He said, "Then let
him help one who is in desperate
need." He said, "Then let
him do good, and refrain from doing
evil, and that will be an act of
charity on his part."129
Islam has opened wide the
doors of good deeds to men and women,
rich and poor alike, so that anyone may
have the opportunity to do good.
Everyone who has uttered the words of
the Shahadah is required to do good
deeds, which have been termed sadaqah.
The poor person need not feel that he is
deprived of the chance to take part in
doing good in society just because he
has little or no money. Every good deed
or favour is described as a sadaqah,
and the poor man or woman will be
rewarded for a good deed just as a rich
man or woman will be rewarded for money
spent generously:
"Every good deed
is sadaqah."130
Thus Islam guarantees
that all members of a society will
participate in building, serving and
improving it, and that all of them will
feel the satisfaction of this
participation which will give them back
their pride and honour and will bring
about their reward.
The generous Muslim
woman gives to the poor and needy who
are too proud to ask for help, which
makes people think that hey are free
from want. She tries to seek them out as
much as she is able, for they are the
first people who should be given help.
These are the ones to whom the Prophet
(PBUH) referred when he said:
"The poor man is
not the one who takes a date or two,
or a mouthful or two, then turns away.
The poor man is the one who is too
proud to ask for anything."131
The Muslim woman gives in
charity to orphans as much as she is
able. If she is well-off, she sponsors
an orphan and help to bring him up and
educate him, spending on him and taking
care of him, hoping for the high status
that Allah (SWT) has prepared for the
one who sponsors an orphan, which is the
status of being in the vicinity of the
Prophet (PBUH) in Paradise:
"I and the one who
sponsors an orphan will be like this
in Paradise," and he held up his
index and middle fingers and held them
apart."132
The Muslim woman also
strives to help the widow and the poor,
following the guidance of her religion,
which has promised a great reward to the
one who takes care of them, a reward
that rivals that earned by the one who
fasts during the day and stands in
prayer a night, or the one who fights
for the sake of Allah (SWT), as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"The one who
strives to help the widow and the poor
is like the one who fights in jihad
for the sake of Allah (SWT)." And
I [the narrator] believe he also said:
"and like the one who stands at
night in prayer without rest and fasts
continually without breaking his
fast."133
Taking care of widows and
the poor, and sponsoring orphans, are
among the most noble of humane deeds,
and are most befitting to the Muslim
woman, as they increase her in humanity,
honour and gentility.
She does not remind
the beneficiaries
her charity
If Allah (SWT) enables
the Muslim woman to give generously, she
should not fall into the sin of
reminding people of her generosity or
harming them; she should be keen to keep
her giving pure and sincerely for the
sake of Allah (SWT), so that she will be
one of those whom Allah (SWT) has
described in the Qur'an:
( Those who spend
their substance in the cause of Allah,
and follow not up their gifts with
reminders of their generosity or with
injury - for them their reward is with
their Lord; on them shall be no fear,
nor shall they grieve.) (Qur'an
2:262)
The Muslim woman does not
forget that there is nothing more likely
to cancel out good deeds and destroy the
reward of charity than reminding other
of it or harming them. Allah (SWT) warns
the believers against these deeds in
such a way that the believer is shaken
and would not even think of reminding
others of his charity or harming them:
( O you who believe!
Cancel not your charity by reminders
of your generosity or by injury. . .)
(Qur'an 2:264)
Reminding the poor man
whom need has compelled to accept aid
from others is humiliating and
disrespectful. It is forbidden by Islam,
which counts the one who gives and the
one who takes as brothers, between whom
there is no difference except in their taqwa
and good deeds. A brother does not
remind his brother of his charity; he
does not humiliate him or cause him to
lose face. In a hadith narrated by
Muslim from Abu Dharr, the Prophet
(PBUH) issued a strong warning to those
who remind others of their charity, and
counted them among those doomed souls to
whom Allah (SWT) will not even speak on
the Day of Judgement:
"There are three
to whom Allah (SWT) will not speak on
the Day of Resurrection, nor look at,
nor commend them, and theirs will be a
severe punishment." The Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) repeated this three
times. Abu Dharr said, "They are
truly lost and doomed. Who are they, O
Messenger of Allah?" He said,
"The one who lets his garment
trail below his ankles (out of pride),
the one who reminds people of his
charity, and the one who sells his
goods by means of making false
oaths."134
She is patient
The Muslim woman who
is truly guided by Islam and who is
infused with its noble characteristics
trains herself to be patient, to control
her anger, to forgive and to respond to
an evil deed with something better, in
accordance with the words of the Qur'an:
( ... Who restrain
anger, and pardon [all] men-for Allah
loves those who do good.) (Qur'an
3:134)
( Nor can
Goodness and Evil be equal. Repel
[Evil] with what is better: then will
he between whom and you was hatred
become as it were your friend and
intimate! And no one will be granted
such goodness except those who
exercise patience and self-restraint -
none but persons of the greatest good
fortune.) (Qur'an 41:34-35)
Selfrestraint at the time
of anger, and adopting a calm and
patient attitude, are among the most
beautiful qualities of Muslim men and
women that Allah (SWT) loves to see in
His believing servants. This is what was
stated by the Prophet (PBUH) in the
hadith narrated by Ibn `Abbas (RAA):
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said to Ashajj `Abd al-Qays:
`You have two qualities that Allah
(SWT) loves: patience and
deliberation."135
Hence the Prophet
(PBUH) told the man who came asking
him to advise him in just one word:
"Do not become angry." The
man repeated his request for advice
several times, and each time the
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do not
become angry."136
The Muslim woman may
become angry sometimes, but her anger is
for the sake of Allah (SWT), not for her
own sake. She may become angry when she
sees carelessness, wilful neglect and
downright insolence towards matters of
religamong women. She has the right to
be angry in such situations. This is how
the Prophet (PBUH) used to be, as
Bukhari and Muslim narrated:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never took revenge for his own
sake, but if the laws of Allah (SWT)
were violated, he would take revenge
for the sake of Allah (SWT)."137
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to become furious, and his face would
redden, if he heard some insult to the
reputation of Islam, or if he discovered
some error or negligence in applying its
laws and carrying out its punishments.
He became furious the
day a man came to him and said,
"I always come late to salat
al-subh (fajr prayer) because of
So-and-so, who always makes the prayer
too lenghty." The Prophet (PBUH)
was never seen as angry in his rebuke
as he was on that day. He said,
"O people, there are among you
those who put others off from good
deeds. When anyone leads the people in
prayer, he should keep it short, for
behind him are the old, the young, and
the one who has a pressing need."138
He also became angry
the day he returned from a journey and
found a thin curtain covered with
pictures in `A'ishah's house. When he
saw it, he tore it down and his face
reddened. He told her: "O
`A'ishah, the people who will be most
severely punished by Allah (SWT) on
the Day of Resurrection will be those
who imitate the creation of Allah
(SWT)."139
He also became angry
when Usamah ibn Zayd spoke to him
concerning the Makhzumi woman who had
committed theft, and the Prophet
(PBUH) had decreed that the
appropriate punishment be carried out
on her. The people said, "Who
will speak to the Prophet (PBUH) about
her?" Then they said, "Who
dares to do this but Usamah ibn Zayd,
his beloved?" So Usamah spoke to
him, and the Prophet (PBUH) said
angrily, "Are you interceding to
stop one of the punishments ordained
by Allah (SWT)?" Then he got up
and addressed the people: "Those
who came before you were destroyed
because when one of their noblemen
committed theft, they let him off, but
when one of the weak among them
committed theft, then they would carry
out the punishment on him. By Allah
(SWT), if Fatimah the daughter of
Muhammad were to commit theft, I would
cut off her hand."140
Such was the anger of the
Prophet (PBUH), and these are the valid
reasons for anger according to Islam.
Anger should be for the sake of Allah
(SWT), not one's own ego.
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam and
follows the example of the Prophet
(PBUH) always keeps his teachings,
behavior and deeds in mind, so she
controls herself when she feels angry
with people, and her anger is only for
the sake of Allah (SWT), His religion
and the sanctity of His laws.
She is easy-going
and does not
bear grudges
The Muslim woman does
not bear grudges, and resentment has no
room in her heart, because Islam has
uprooted hatred from her heart,
extinguished the flames of anger,
cleansed her soul of enmity, and planted
the seeds of sisterly love, tolerance
and forgiveness.
Islam has
uncompromisingly declared war on
ignorance, tribalism, hostility, enmity
and revenge, and has made forgiveness,
tolerance, love and kindness dear to the
hearts of Muslim men and women. Allah
(SWT) says:
( ... Who restrain
anger, and pardon all men - for Allah
loves those who do good.) (Qur'an
3:134)
This is praise for those
who restrain their anger and do not bear
grudges, who have raised themselves to
the level of forgiveness and tolerance,
which is a high level indeed, and very
difficult to attain. None can reach it
except those who are pure of heart and
have shed the inclination towards
hostility, enmity and revenge and thus
earned the right to reach the level of
ihsan, and Allah (SWT) loves those
who do good (al-muhsinun).
Through this noble
teaching, Islam was able to penetrate
the hearts of the believers, and cleanse
and purify them, so that hearts that had
been dominated by anger and hatred
became hearts that were filled with love
and devotion.
One of the most
striking examples of this miraculous
change of heart is the story of Hind
bint `Utbah, whose heart before she
embraced Islam was filled with the
poison of hatred and enmity towards the
Prophet (PBUH) and his family and
companions. On the day of the Conquest
of Makkah, the Prophet (PBUH) even
declared that her blood might be shed
with impunity, as a punishment for her
having mutilated the body of his uncle
Hamzah (RAA) on the day of Uhud. When we
embraced Islam and faith penetrated deep
into her heart, she came to the Prophet
(PBUH) and said: "O Messenger of
Allah, there was no family on earth that
I would have loved to see humiliated
more than your family, but from this day
on, there is no family on earth I would
love to see honoured more than your
family."141
For the sake of Allah
(SWT) and His Religion, blood feuds will
be forgotten, hostility will vanish,
those who previously hated one another
will become friends, and the inclination
towards enmity will be uprooted.
In the most brilliant
fashion, the Qur'an raises the human
soul to this difficult, high level. It
states that the one who has been treated
unjustly has the right to defend himself
and resist oppression (an eye for an
eye), but it does not allow the one who
has been wronged to be overtaken by the
desire for revenge. Rather, it gently
leads him or her towards the level of
patience, tolerance and forgiveness, and
states that this is something that takes
a great deal of determination and
willpower:
( And those who,
when an oppressive wrong is inflicted
on them, [are not cowed but] help and
defend themselves. The recompense for
an injury is an injury equal thereto
[in degree]: but if a person forgives
and makes reconciliation, his reward
is due from Allah: for Allah loves not
those who do wrong.
But indeed if any
do help and defend themselves after a
wrong [done] to them, against such is
no cause of blame. The blame is only
against those who oppress men with
wrongdoing and insolently transgress
beyond bounds through the land,
defying right and justice: for such
there will be a Penalty grievous.
But indeed if any
show patience and forgive, that would
truly be an exercise of courageous
will and resolution in the conduct of
affairs.) (Qur'an
42:39-43)
When Abu Bakr (RAA) was
overwhelmed with sorrow because of the
slander he heard uttered against his
daughter `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her), he vowed to himself to cut
off his help to those ungrateful
recipients of his bounty who had joined
in the sinful gossip. But Allah, Who
knew the purity of Abu Bakr's heart and
his devotion to Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger, did not allow him to be taken
over by the desire for revenge that
crossed his mind, so He guided him back
towards his essential good nature and
purity of heart, and motivated him to
strive for the higher level of tolerance
and forgiveness:
( Let not those
among you who are endued with grace
and amplitude of means resolve by oath
against helping their kinsmen, those
in want, and those who have left their
homes in Allah's cause: Let them
forgive and overlook, do you not wish
that Allah should forgive you? For
Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful.) (Qur'an 24:22)
Interactions between
individuals in an Islamic society that
is founded on the brotherhood of faith
are not based on an attitude of watching
for counting mistakes, or the desire for
revenge, or defensiveness; they are
based on brotherhood, overlooking errors
and tolerance. This is what Islam and
the brotherhood of faith call for:
( Nor can Goodness
and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with
what is better: then will he between
whom and you was hatred become as it
were your friend and intimate! And no
one will be granted such goodness
except those who exercise patience and
self-restraint - none but persons of
the greatest good fortune.) (Qur'an
41: 34-35)
If evil is always repaid
with evil, the result will be intense
hatred and bitter grudges. But if evil
is repaid with good, it will extinguish
the fires of hatred, calm people down,
and remove their grudges. The two women
who were enemies will become true
friends when one of them speaks a kind
word or smiles compassionately at the
other. This is a great victory for the
one who evil with something better, and
turned enmity into friendship, hatred to
love. No one attains this but persons of
the greatest good fortune, as the Qur'an
states. Such a person responds to the
evil she faces with a measure of
patience and self-control, and repels it
with something good.
This is the attitude
of true believing women in a Muslim
community that is based on love,
friendship and tolerance. Many ayat
and hadith reinforce this message and
seek to instill this attitude in
believers' hearts, always training them
to adopt that attitude of forgiveness
that will leave no trace of hatred,
resentment or malice:
( . . . So overlook
[any human faults] with gracious
forgiveness.) (Qur'an 15:85)
The Prophet (PBUH), by
his words and deeds, was a living
example of this worthy human virtue of
tolerance and forgiveness, and he urged
others to adopt it also.
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never struck any person, woman
or servant with his hand, except when
he was fighting in the way of Allah
(SWT), and he never took offence at
anything and sought revenge for it,
except when one of the laws of Allah
(SWT) had been violated, and then he
would take revenge for the sake of
Allah (SWT)."142
He (PBUH) used to follow
the commands of Allah (SWT):
( Hold to
forgiveness; command what is right;
but turn away from the ignorant.) (Qur'an
7:199)
By the following the
command of Allah (SWT),
( . . . Repel Evil
with what is better . . . )
(Qur'an 41:34)
the Prophet (PBUH) was a
unique example of this sublime attitude,
which encompassed and appealed to all
people. He did not repay their evil with
evil, rather he repelled it with an
attitude of forgiveness and good
manners, turning away from the ignorant
and repelling evil with something
better.
Anas (RAA) said:
"I was walking
with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH),
and he was wearing a Najrani cloak
with a stiff collar. A Bedouin came up
to him and grabbed him roughly, and I
looked at the Prophet's shoulder and
saw the mark left by his collar
because of this rough approach. Then
the Bedouin said, `O Muhammad, order
that I be given some of the wealth of
Allah (SWT) that you have!' The
Prophet (PBUH) turned to him and
smiled, then ordered that he be given
something."143
The attitude of
forgiveness was so deeply entrenched
in his noble heart that he even
forgave the Jewish woman who sent him
poisoned mutton, as Bukhari, Muslim
and others narrate. This Jewish woman
sent a gift of poisoned mutton to the
Prophet (PBUH), and he and a group of
his Companions began to eat it, then
he said, "Stop! It is
poisoned!" The woman was brought
to the Prophet (PBUH) and he asked
her, " What made you do
that?" She said: "I wanted
to know if you were really a Prophet,
in which case Allah (SWT) would warn
you and the poison would not harm you.
If you were not a Prophet, then we
would have been rid of you." The
Companions asked, "Shall we kill
her?" He said, "No,"
and forgave her.144
When the tribe of
Daws rebelled and refused to follow
the commands of Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger, al-Tufayl ibn `Amr al-Dawsi
came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said,
"Daws have rebelled, so pray to
Allah (SWT) against them." The
Prophet (PBUH) faced the qiblah and
raised his hands, and the people said,
"They are finished!" But the
Prophet (PBUH), who was merciful and
tolerant, and did not want to see the
punishment of Allah (SWT) befall
people, prayed for Daws, saying,
"O Allah, guide Daws and bring
them here; O Allah, guide Daws and
bring them here; O Allah, guide Daws
and bring them here."145
The Prophet (PBUH)
instilled in people's hearts the
attitude of always forgiving and being
tolerant, even when faced with harshness
and being boycotted. With the deep
insight with which Allah (SWT) had
endowed him, he understood that people
respond better to tolerance than to
harshness.
Therefore when `Uqbah
ibn `Amir asked him, "O Messenger
of Allah, tell me the best of
deeds," he told him, "O
`Uqbah, maintain ties with the one who
cuts you off, give to the one who
deprives you, and do not seek revenge
on the one who wrongs you."
According to another report, he said,
"Forgive the one who wrongs
you."146
The Mothers of the
Believers, (May Allah be pleased with
them) also adopted this sublime
attitude. An example of this is the
attitude of Safiyyah (May Allah be
pleased with her) towards her female
slave who went to the khalifah
`Umar ibn al-Khattab and said, "O Amir
al-Mu'minin, Safiyyah loves the
Sabbath (Saturday) and maintains ties
with the Jews." `Umar sent for
Safiyyah and questioned her about that.
She replied: "As far as the Sabbath
is concerned, I have not love it since
Allah (SWT) replaced it with Jumu`ah
(Friday) for me. As for the jews, I have
relatives among them with whom I uphold
the ties of kinship." Then she
turned to her slave and asked her what
had made her tell such a lie. The slave
woman answered, "Shaytan."
Safiyyah distinguished herself by
responding to evil with something
better. She told the slave woman:
"Go, you are free."147
No doubt Safiyyah was
one of those to whom the words of the
Qur'an applied:
( Nor can Goodness
and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with
what is better: then will he between
whom and you was hatred become as it
were your friend and intimate! And no
one will be granted such goodness
except those who exercise patience and
self-restraint - none but persons of
the greatest good fortune.) (Qur'an
41:34-35)
She was most certainly a
person of the greatest good fortune.
She is easy on
people, not hard
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is easy on people, not hard, because
making things easy for others is the
best attitude that Allah (SWT) likes to
see in His believing servants:
( . . . Allah
intends every facility for you; He
does not want to put you to
difficulties . . . ) (Qur'an
2:185)
Therefore the Prophet
(PBUH) encouraged the Muslims to be easy
on people, and forbade them to make
things difficult:
"Teach and make
things easy, do not make them
difficult. If any of you becomes
angry, let him keep silent."148
The woman who resorts to
making things difficult and complicating
matters when the teachings of Islam are
so clear is a woman who is neither pious
nor sound; nobody does such a thing
except the one whose nature is twisted
wand mean-spirited and whose education
is lacking. The Muslim woman who is
straightforward and is obedient to Allah
(SWT) and the teachings of Islam does
not like to cause difficulties or
complicate matters. In this way he is
following the example of the Prophet
(PBUH) whom `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) described as follows:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) was never faced with the
choice between two things but he took
the easier of the two, so long as it
was not a sin. If it was a sin, he
would be the furthest of the people
from it. And the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) never took revenge for himself,
but if the bounds of Allah (SWT) were
transgressed, then he would take
revenge for the sake of Allah
(SWT)."149
The true Muslim woman
adheres to the teachings of the Prophet
(PBUH); she does not go beyond the
limits set by him, or disobey his
commands.
She is not envious
How often does the
ordinary women fall into the sin of en,
when she sees many of those who are
inferior to her in beauty, knowledge
land intelligence wallowing in riches
and luxury when she does not even have
the smallest part of what they enjoy?
The alert, truly-guided Muslim woman,
however, is saved from stumbling into
such error because she has learnt, from
the teachings of Islam, that everything
that happens in life happens according
to the will and decree of Allah (SWT).
The pleasures of this life, no matter
how great, are as nothing in comparison
to the reward that Allah (SWT) has
prepared for those believing women who
are content with what Allah (SWT) has
given them. The true value of a woman
rests in her level of taqwa and
good deeds, not in her transient worldly
earnings. The more these values are
reinforced in the woman's soul, the
purer and more tranquil her soul
becomes, and she will become one of the
people of Paradise who have earned the
pleasure of Allah(SWT), even if her acts
are worship are few. Imam Ahmad
reported, with a sahih isnad from
Anas ibn Malik:
"We were sitting
with the Prophet (PBUH) and he said,
`One of the people of Paradise will
now come to you,' and a man of the Ansar
came along, his beard dripping
from his wudu', and carrying
his sandals in his left hand. The next
day, the Prophet (PBUH) said the same
thing, and the same man appeared,
looking the same as he had on the
previous day. On the third day, the
Prophet (PBUH) again said the same
thing, and the same man appeared
again. When the Prophet (PBUH) left,
`Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As followed
the man and said, `I have fallen out
with my father and sworn that I will
not enter his house for three (days),
and I thought that I could stay with
you until the time is up.' He said,
`That's fine.'" Anas said:
`"Abdullah used to tell how he
stayed with him for those three nights
and never saw the man get up to pray
at night, but when he awoke and turned
over in his sleep, he would mention
Allah (SWT) and say `Allahu akbar,'
until he got up for salat al-fajr.
`Abdullah said: `But I never heard him
say anything but good. When the three
days were over and I had begun to
think that his deeds were nothing
remarkable, I said, "O servant of
Allah! There was no quarrel between me
and my father, but I heard the Prophet
(PBUH) say three times, `One of the
people of Paradise will come to you,'
and you appeared each time, so I
wanted to come and stay with you to
see what you did, so that I could
follow your example, but I did not see
you do anything out of the ordinary.
What is it that has raised you to such
a great status as the Prophet (PBUH)
said?" The man said, "It is
only what you have seen." When I
turned away, he called me back and
said, "It is only what you have
seen, but I do not hold anything
against any Muslim in my heart, and I
do not envy anyone for the blessings
that Allah (SWT) has bestowed on
him." `Abdullah said: `This is
what raised you to that great status,
and this is what we could not
achieve.'"150
This hadith indicates the
effects of having a heart that is free
of hatred, envy, malice and treachery,
and its impact on deciding a person's
fate in the Hereafter, raising his
status in the sight of Allah (SWT) and
making his deeds acceptable, even if
they are few. These effects can be
clearly seen in the example of this man
whose acts of worship were few, but he
would enter Paradise because of the
purity of his heart and the fact that
people were safe from harm on his part.
These effects are in direct contrast
with the woman about whom the Prophet
(PBUH) was asked; although she spent her
nights in prayer and her days in
fasting, she used to insult and mistreat
her neighbours, so the Prophet (PBUH)
said: "She will be in Hell."151
The person who weighs
heavily in the balance of Islam (i.e.,
is successful) is the one whose heart is
always pure and free from hatred,
malice, envy and resentment, even if his
acts of worship are few. A person who
performs many acts of worship when his
or her heart is filled with feelings of
resentment, envy and hatred, is merely
performing an outward, mechanical action
that clearly has no solid foundation of
faith. Hence it has no effect in
purifying his soul of envy which the
Prophet (PBUH) stated does not belong in
the heart of the one who has true faith:
"Faith and envy do
not go together in the heart of the
believer."152
Damurah ibn Tha`labah
(RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `The people will do
fine so long as they do not envy one
another.'"153
The true Muslim woman is
the one who combines proper worship with
purity of heart, uncontaminated by envy,
malice and hatred. In this way she may
scale the heights of true taqwa and
attain a high status in the sight of
Allah (SWT), and also earn the love and
respect of other people in this world.
Thus she will become a solid brick in
the structure of a pure, cohesive Muslim
community that deserves to carry the
message of Allah (SWT) to mankind.
She avoids boasting
and seeking fame
Among the attributes
of the Muslim woman who understands and
follows the teachings of Islam are her
humility, truthfulness and realistic
approach. She does not have an attitude
of superiority, self-admiration and
telling lies, and she does not claim to
have more than she actually has in order
to show off to her friends and peers
under false pretences.
She tries to avoid
such unpleasant habits, because they do
not befit the nature of a woman whose
personality has been moulded by the
principles of Islam. A woman came to the
Prophet (PBUH) asking whether she would
be permitted to say that her husband had
given her something which he had not
given her, in order to boast and show
off. The Prophet (PBUH) replied:
"The one who
creates a false impression of having
been given something which he was not
given is like the one who wears the
garment of falsehood."154
Islam is a religion that
is based on sincerity, purity, humility
and realism; it abhors deception,
haughtiness, arrogance, conceit and
false claims. So it hates to see its
followers boasting under false
pretences, looking down on other, or
hoarding wealth for love of fame. It
sharply criticizes those who adopt such
attitudes, just as it rebukes the one
who wears the garment of falsehood.
Her speech is not
exaggerated
or affected
The true Muslim is
natural in her behavior and conduct; she
does not exaggerate or affect her speech
in order to attract attention, because
these are sickening, hateful attributes
that do not exist in people of sound
nature. Only those who are twisted or
whose sound nature is lacking speak in
an exaggerated or affected manner. For
this reason the Prophet (PBUH) was very
harsh on those men and women who
exaggerate in their speech, and after
his death, Abu Bakr and `Umar were
similarly harsh on them, to the extent
that `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud said:
"By Him besides
Whom there is no other god, I never
saw anyone who was harsher on those
who exaggerate in their speech than
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and I
never saw anyone who was harsher on
them after his death than Abu Bakr,
and I think that `Umar feared the most
for them of all people on earth."155
She has a likeable
personality
The Muslim woman is
keen to be like by others, through her
good deeds and through the positive
effect she has on them, as well as by
having a good reputation in society.
People's love for her
is a sign that Allah (SWT) loves her
too, because in this case He opens
people's hearts to her and makes her
accepted and well-liked by everyone she
meets or she hear about her. Concerning
this, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"When Allah (SWT)
loves a person, he calls Jibril and
says: `I love So-and-so, so love him.'
So Jibril will love him, and will call
out in the heavens: `Allah (SWT) loves
So-and-so, so love him.' Then the
people of heaven will love him, and he
will be well-accepted on earth. If
Allah (SWT) hates a person, he calls
Jibril and says: `I hate So-and-so, so
hate him., So Jibril will hate him,
and will call out in the heavens:
`Allah (SWT) hates So-and-so, so hate
him.' Then the people of heaven will
hate him, and he will be despised on
earth."156
This is the unseen,
divreason why some Muslim men and women
enjoy the love of others towards them.
It is the love of Allah (SWT) which He
has spread among the people of heaven
and earth, and makes those fortunate
people will-accepted on earth, or else
His hatred causes them to be despised on
earth.
No-one can earn the
love of Allah (SWT) except the one who
turns to Him seeking His pleasure, and
no-one earns His hatred except the one
who turns away from His guidance and
disobeys Him.
The good news of
Allah's love and pleasure is given only
to believing men and women, those who
believe and do good works, which are
commended by other people. Allah (SWT)
will hasten to bring them glad tidings
in their own lifetimes, so He causes
people to praise them and love them, as
is seen in the sahih hadith
narrated by Muslim from Abu Dharr, who
said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) was asked, `What do you think
of a man who does a good deed, and
people praise him for it? He said,
`That is gtidings for the believer
that he has received in this
world." According to another
report also narrated by Muslim:
"and the people love him for
it."157
The Muslim woman who has
the best characteristics and is adhering
to the limits set by Allah (SWT), doing
what He commands and avoiding what He
forbids, is the woman who deserves to
receive these glad tidings in this
world. She deserves to be loved by
everyone who knows her or hears of her
good deeds, such as tolerance, turning
away form ignorant women, responding to
evil with good, helping the poor and
destitute, wanting the best for others,
denying herself, speaking the truth,
refraining from talking unnecessarily,
being fair in her judgement and
treatment of others, avoiding malicious
gossip and hurting others, and other
righteous attitudes and virtues that
Islam encourages and describes as an
adornment for the Muslim woman. Such a
woman has truly understood the teachings
of her religion; she has earned the love
of people in this world and the pleasure
of Allah (SWT) and Paradise in the
Hereafter.
She is friendly and
likeable
The sensitive Muslim
woman is friendly and likeable. She
makes friends with other women and mixes
with them, and they in turn like to meet
her and make friends with her, because
of her gentle, refined, attractive
character and good treatment of them.
These are the best characteristics that
a woman may attain, as they entitle her
to mix with other women, earn their
trust and have an influence on them.
Women will only listen to the one whom
they like and trust and feel comfortable
with, and they will only be persuaded by
a woman who brings with her an attitude
of trust, friendship and respect.
Hence there are many
hadith which commend the type of person
who is friendly and liked by others.
Such a person, whether man or woman, is
one of those chosen ones who are beloved
by the Prophet (PBUH) and will be
closest to him on the Day of Judgement:
"Shall I not tell
you who among you is most beloved to
me and will be closest to me on the
Day of Resurrection?" He repeated
it three or two times, and they said,
"Yes, O Messenger of Allah."
He said, "Those of you who are
the best in attitude and
character."158 Some
reports add: "Those who are down
to earth and humble, who get along
with others and with whom others feel
comfortable."
One of the most important
attributes of the Muslim woman is that
she gets along with others and others
feel comfortable with her. She likes
people and they like her. If she is not
like this, then she will not be able to
convey the message or achieve anything
of significance. Whoever is like that
has no goodness in him, as in the
hadith:
"The believer gets
along with people and they feel
comfortable with him. There is no
goodness in the one who does not get
along with people and with whom they
do not feel comfortable."159
The Prophet (PBUH) set
the highest example of good behavior
towards people. He was skillful in
softening their hearts and called them
to follow him in word and deed. He
demonstrated how to reach people's
hearts and win their love and
admiration. He was always cheerful and
easy-going, never harsh. When he came to
any gathering, he would sit wherever
there was a free space, and he told
others to do likewise. He treated
everyone equally, so that no-one who was
present in a gathering would feel that
anyone else was receiving preferential
treatment. If anyone came to him and
asked for something, he would give it to
them, or at least respond with kind
words. His good attitude extended to
everyone and he was like a father to
them. The people gathered around him
were truly equal, distinguished only by
their level of taqwa. They were
humble, respecting their elders, showing
compassion to young ones, giving
priority to those in need, and taking
care of strangers.
The Prophet (PBUH)
never disappointed anyone who came to
ask from him. There are three
characteristics that he did not possess:
he was not argumentative, he did not
talk too much, and he did not concern
himself with matters that were not his
business. There are three things that he
never did to people: he never criticized
anyone, he never said "Shame on
you!" to anyone, and he never
looked for anyone's faults. He never
said anything but that for which he
hoped to earn reward. When he spoke, the
people around him would listen
earnestly, sitting still as if there
were birds on their heads. When he was
silent, then they would speak. They
never argued with one another in his
presence. They would smile at whatever
he smiled at, and would be impressed by
whatever impressed him. He would be
patient with a stranger who might be
harsh in his requests or questions, and
his Companions would ask the stranger to
speak gently. He said, "If you see
someone in need, then help him." He
never accepted praise except from
someone who was thanking him for a
favour, and he never cut off anyone who
was speaking; he would wait until the
person indicated that he had finished,
or stood up.160
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) tells us that the
used to be cautious of the worst type
of people, and he would speak gently
to them and treat them well. A man
sought permission to enter upon him
and he said, "Let him in, what a
bad brother of his tribe he is!"
When the man came in, he spoke gently
to him. `A'ishah said, "O
Messenger of Allah, you said what you
said, then you spoke gently to
him." He said, "O `A'ishah,
the worst of people is the one whom
people avoid (or are gentle towards)
because they fear his slander."161
No doubt the mature
Muslim woman who is receptive to the
guidance of Islam follows in the
footsteps of her Prophet (PBUH) in her
dealings with all people, whether they
are good or bad, so that she will be
liked, well accepted and respected among
all the women who know her or hear of
her.
She keeps secrets
It is obvious to the
mature, wise Muslim woman that keeping
secrets is one of the best
characteristics that a person, man or
woman, can have. Keeping secrets is a
sign of a person's maturity, moral
strength, wisdom and balanced
personality. Therefore the true Muslim
woman keeps those secrets that Islam
urges her to keep. This was the attitude
of the best personalities of Islam, and
was one of their most beautiful
characteristics.
One of the best
examples of this virtue and the
determination to adhere to tit among the
most prominent Sahabah was the
attitude of Abu Bakr and `Uthman towards
`Umar when he offered them his daughter
Hafsah's hand in marriage after she was
widowed, and their concealing the secret
of the Prophet (PBUH) from him.
Imam Bukhari reports
from `Abdullah ibn `Umar that `Umar
said, concerning events after his
daughter Hafsah was widowed:
"I met `Uthman ibn
`Affan (RAA) and offered him Hafsah's
hand in marriage. I said, `If you
wish, I will marry Hafsah to you.' He
said: `I will think about it.' A few
days passed, then he met me and said,
`I think that I do not wish to get
married just now.' Then I met Abu Bakr
al-Siddiq (RAA), and said, `If you
wish, I will marry Hafsah bint `Umar
to you.' Abu Bakr remained silent and
made no reply to me, and I was more
upset with him than with `Uthman. A
few days passe, then the Prophet
(PBUH) asked for her hand, and I gave
her to him in marriage. Abu Bakr met
me and said, `Perhaps you are angry
with me for when you offered me
Hafsah's hand and I did not reply?' I
said, `Yes.' He said, `Nothing kept me
from answering you except the fact
that I knew the Prophet (PBUH) had
mentioned her, and I could not
disclose the secret of the Messenger
of Allah (PBUH). If he had decided not
to marry her, then I would have
married her.'"162
The virtue of keeping
secrets was not confined only to the men
of the salaf, it also included
women and children whose hearts were
filled with the guidance of Islam. We
see this in the report given by Imam
Muslim from Anas (RAA), who said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) came to me while I was
playing with some other boys. He
greeted me, then sent me on an errand.
I was late coming home to my mother,
and when I came, she asked, `What kept
you so long?' I said, `The Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) sent me on an erra.'
She asked me, `What errand?' I said,
`It is a secret.' She said, `Do not
tell anyone the secret of the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH).' Anas said:
By Allah (SWT), if I had told anyone
about it, I would have told you, O
Thabit."163
Umm Anas saw that her son
was keen to keep the secret entrusted to
him by the Prophet (PBUH), so she
reinforced this keen attitude by telling
him not to disclose this secret to
anyone. So Anas did not speak of it to
anyone, not even the great Sahabi Thabit
al-Bunani, who was the spokesman of the
Prophet (PBUH), and one of those who
were promised Paradise. She did not
allow her curiosity to make her quiz her
young son about the secret he was
keeping from her. This is true Islamic tarbiyah
(education, upbringing), and this is the
sublime level to which it raised men,
women and children alike.
Telling secrets is one
of the worst habits a person could have,
and the worst form of this habit is
disclosing secrets that relate to the
intimacies of married life. A person who
is afflicted with this abhorrent habit
will be among the worst people on the
Day of Judgement, as the Prophet (PBUH)
explained:
"The most evil of
people in the sight of Allah (SWT) on
the Day of Resurrection will be a man
who was intimate with his wife, then
went and told others about her
secrets."164
Private matters should
remain utterly secret, known only to
those concerned. No-one broadcasts his
private matters except the person who is
somewhat crazy, stupid and unsound, and
whose attitude is dirty, cheap and
shameless. Muslim men and women are
protected from such folly by the noble
characteristics that they have learned
from their religion.
She is of cheerful
Countenance
It is clear to the
Muslim woman that one of the most
important factors in her success both in
her private life with her husband and in
her social life in general, is that she
should be of cheerful countenance,
smiling often and overflowing with
warmth. Allah (SWT) of this will endear
her to people and open their hearts to
her. It is also the good attitude,
positive personality and physical
attractiveness encouraged by Islam.
In Sahih Muslim,
it is reported that the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Do not think
little of any good deed, even if it is
just meeting your brother with a
cheerful countenance."165
The Prophet (PBUH) taught
that the Muslim should smile at his
brother, and he never met any of his Sahabah
without smiling at them, as is reported
in the hadith of the great Sahabi
Jarir ibn `Abdullah, who said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never refused to see me, after
I embraced Islam, and he never saw me
without smiling at me."166
The Muslim woman who is
cheerful and smiles a lot brings joy to
her husband's heart, which increases his
love and respect for her. This is also
the attitude which she brings to the
social circle of women with whom she
mixes: nothing spreads love and
affection in a community like a smiling
face and a happy and content soul. These
are characteristics which are most
befitting to the gentle, polite Muslim
woman who seeks to call others to Islam,
because it is through these attitudes
that she will be able to reach people's
hearts.
She is lighthearted
and has a sense of humour
The true Muslim woman
is lighthearted and has a sense of
humour; she is kind in her treatment of
others and gentle in her speech. She
does not disdain to joke with her
sisters and friends on appropriate
occasions. But the Muslim woman's jokes
are distinguished by their legitimate
Islamic nature, and never sink to the
level of being cheap, dirty or stupid.
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to joke with his Companions, but his
jokes never went beyond the bounds of
truth. It was narrated that the Sahabah
said to the Prophet (PBUH): "You
joke with us." He said, "But
I never say anything except the
truth."167
The Sahabah took
the same approach to humour. There are
many delightful and entertaining reports
about the jokes exchanged between the
Prophet (PBUH) and his Companions.
Among the reports
related in the books of hadith and sirah
is that which tells of how the Prophet
(PBUH) used to joke with the small
child of one of his Sahabah, a boy
called Abu `Umayr, who had a little
bird he used to play with. One day he
saw the child looking sad, so he
asked, "Why do I see Abu `Umayr
looking sad?" The Sahabah
told him, "The nughar168
which he used to play with has died, O
Messenger of Allah." The Prophet
(PBUH) began to gently joke with the
child, saying, "O Abu `Umayr,
what happened to the nughayr?"169
A man came to the
Prophet (PBUH) to ask him to give him
a beast to ride. The Prophet (PBUH)
jokingly told him: "I will give
you the offspring of a she-camel to
ride." He said, "O Messenger
of Allah, what shall I do with the
offspring of a she-camel? The Prophet
(PBUH) said: "Are riding-camels
born except from she-camels?"170
Imam Ahmad reported
from Anas (RAA) that there was a man
from the desert people whose name was
Zahir. He used to bring gifts from the
desert to the Prophet (PBUH), and in
return the Prophet (PBUH) would
provide him with whatever he needed
when he went out to fight. The Prophet
(PBUH) said: "Zahir is our man of
the desert, and we are his
town-dwellers." The Prophet
(PBUH) loved him very much, and he
(Zahir) was an ugly man. One day the
Prophet (PBUH) came to him whilst he
was selling some goods. He embraced
him from behind. The man could not see
him, so he said, "Let me go! Who
is this?" Then he turned around
and recognised the Prophet (PBUH), so
he tried to move closer to him once he
knew who it was. The Prophet (PBUH)
started saying, "Who will buy
this slave?" Zahir said, "O
Messenger of Allah, you will find me
unsellable." The Prophet (PBUH)
said, "But in the sight of Allah
(SWT) you are not unsellable," or
he said, "But in the sight of
Allah (SWT) you are valuable."171
An old woman came to
the Prophet (PBUH) and said, "O
Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah
(SWT) that I will enter
Paradise." He said jokingly,
"O Mother of So-and-so, no old
women will enter Paradise." The
old woman went away crying, so the
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Tell her
that she will not enter Paradise as an
old woman, for Allah (SWT) says:
`We have created [their Companions] of
special creation, and made them
virgin-pure [and undefiled]'
(Qur'an 56:35-36)."172
One of the hadith that
reflect the Prophet's sense of humour
and enjoyment of fun is the report
narrated by Imam Ahmad from `A'ishah
(May Allah be pleased with her), who
said:
"I went out with
the Prophet (PBUH) on a journey. At
that time I was still young and was
quite slender. The Prophet (PBUH) told
the people, `Go on ahead,' and they
went on ahead, then he said to me,
`Come, let us have a race.' So I raced
with him, and I won. He let the matter
rest until I had gained weight. Later,
I accompanied him on another journey.
He told the people, `Go on ahead,' and
they went on ahead. He said to me,
`Come, let us have a race.' So I raced
with him, and he won. He began to
laugh, and said, `This is for
that.'"173
The Prophet (PBUH), the imam,
leader and teacher of the Muslims, liked
to joke and have fun sometimes, no
matter how busy he was with theburdens
of leadership and the effort to
establish the Islamic state, direct the
forces of jihad, and so on. All
of this did not keep him from engaging
in entertaining jokes and lighthearted
fun that would make his Companions - or
his wives, on other occasions - feel
happy.
Another example is the
report narrated by `A'ishah (May Allah
be pleased with her), who said:
"I came to the
Prophet (PBUH) with some harirah
(a dish made with flour and milk) that
I had cooked for him, and told Sawdah
(May Allah be pleased with her), as
the Prophet (PBUH) was sitting between
me and her - `Eat.' She refused, so I
said, `Either you eat, or I will fill
your face!' She still refused, so I
put my hand in the harirah and
daubed her face with it. The Prophet
(PBUH) laughed, put some harirah
in her hand, and said, `Do the same to
her!'" According to another
report: "He lowered his knee
(moved out of the way) so that she
could get her own back on me, then she
took some from the plate and wiped my
face with it, and the Prophet (PBUH)
laughed."174
These repoare a clear
indication of the tolerance of Islam and
its followers, and of the kind of
lightheartedness and humour that it
wants to see in the Muslims. It is a
quality that is liked in the serious
Muslim woman, for it adds beauty,
attraction and influence to her
character.
She tries to make
people happy
The Muslim woman is
keen, in her conversations with other
women, to bring happiness to them and
make them feel cheerful and lively by
means of the good news and pleasant
jokes that she tells them. Making people
happy, within the framework of that
which is permitted, is an Islamic duty
that is strongly encouraged, so that the
environment of the believers, men and
women, may be filled with friendliness,
happiness and joy, ready to undertake
serious work and the sacrifices and
difficulties that it entails.
For this reason Islam
tells us that the reward of one who
makes Muslims happy will be the greater
happiness that Allah (SWT) will bestow
upon him on the Day of Resurrection:
"Whoever meets his
Muslim brother and makes him happy
with something that Allah (SWT) likes,
Allah (SWT) will make him happy on the
Day of Resurrection."175
The clever Muslim woman
will find different ways to make her
sisters happy in ways that are permitted
- a warm greeting, a kind word, a clever
comment, a pleasant joke, good news, a
friendly smile, a sincerely-meant visit,
a charming gift, always keeping in
touch, sincere help, comforting
consolation - which will open their
hearts, sow the seeds of love and
strengthen the ties of friendship and
sisterhood.
She is not
over-strict
Another of the
qualities of the true Muslim woman is
that she is not over-strict, and does
not go to extremes with regard to
matters that Islam has permitted on
certain occasions, such as the singing
that is permitted on Eid and at
weddings, or watching some entertaining
games or sports, so long as they are not
accompanied by any form of corruption
that may lead to fitnah.
Although she may
accept to watch or join in entertainment
on certain occasions, she does not make
this her main concern in life. She
follows the teachings of Islam which
permit fun and entertainment on
occasion, as is reported in a number of sahih
hadith.
In Sahih Bukhari,
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her) is reported to have arranged a
marriage for a woman who was an orphan
under her care, to a man of the Ansar.
The Prophet (PBUH) asked her: "O
`A'ishah, what sort of fun and
entertainment do you have? For the Ansar
love fun and entertainment."176
Imam Bukhari also
narrates from `A'ishah:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) entered upon me when there were
two young girls singing the songs of
Bu`ath177. He lay down on
his bed and turned his face away. Then
Abu Bakr entered, and told me off,
saying: `Musical instruments of Shaytan
in the house of the Prophet (PBUH)!'
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) turned
to him and said: `Let them be.' When
he was no longer paying attention, I
signalled to them, and they
left."178
According to another
report, also narrated by Bukhari, the
Prophet (PBUH) said: "O Abu Bakr,
every nation has a day of celebration,
and this is our day of
celebration."179
Another report narrated
by Bukhari from `A'ishah says:
"It was the day of
Eid, and the black people were playing
with shields and spears. Either I
asked the Prophet (PBUH), or he said
to me: `Would you like to watch?' I
said, `Yes.' So he let me stand behind
him, his cheek against my cheek, and
he was saying, `Carry on, O Banu
Arfidah180!' When I got
tired, he asked me, `Have you had
enough?' I said, `Yes.' He said, `Then
go.'"181
Ibn Hijr reported a
number of versions of this hadith from
`A'ishah, such as that recorded by
al-Zuhri:
". . . Until I
['A'ishah] was the one who had had
enough."182
Muslim also narrates from
al-Zuhri:
"Then he stayed
standing there for my sake until I was
the one who decided to leave."183
Al-Nisa'i reports from
Yazid ibn Marwan:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Have you had enough?
Have you had enough?' She said, `I
decided to say No, just to see how
where I stood with him (i.e. how much
he loved me).'"184
Al-Nisa'i reports from
Abu Salamah from `A'ishah:
"I said, `O
Messenger of Allah, do not rush.' So
he remained standing for my sake, then
said, `Have you had enough?' I said,
`Do not rush.' . . . It was not that I
wanted to watch them, but I wanted all
the women to know how I stood with
him."
In the chapter on
marriage, there is a report narrated by
al-Zuhri which adds:
"You should
understand that young girls like to
have fun."185
In Fath al-Bari186
al-Siraj reports via Abu'l-Zinad from
`Urwah from `A'ishah that the Prophet
(PBUH) said on that day:
"Let the Jews know
that in our religion there is room for
entertainment, and I have been sent
with a tolerant, pure religion."
Tirmidhi reports in his Sunan
that `A'ishah said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) was sitting, and we heard some
noise and children's voices outside.
The Prophet (PBUH) stood up, and saw
an Abyssinian woman dancing, with
children around her. He said, `O
`A'ishah, come and see!' So I came,
and put my chin on his shoulder,
looking through the gap between his
head and his shoulder. He asked me,
`Have you had enough?' and I decided
to say No, just to see where I stood
with him. Suddenly `Umar appeared, and
the people scattered. The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `I can see that the
devils among jinn and mankind
flee from `Umar!' [`A'ishah] said:
then I went back."187.
These and similar texts,
as understood in the books of hadith,
are clear evidence of the Prophet's kind
and gentle treatment of his wife, and
his eagerness to make her happy. They
are also proof of the tolerance and ease
of Islam, and its concern that women
should be allowed to enjoy the kinds of
fun and entertainment that it has
permitted, unlike some of those
overstrict people nowadays who regard
such fun as a serious crime for which
women should be severely punished by
being imprisoned (in the home).
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam
should be very serious in her attitude,
concentrating on noble aims and shunning
frivolities. But this should not stop
her from having fun occasionally, in
ways that are permitted by Islam, which
leaves room for such entertainment. The
wise Lawgiver understands the nature of
people and their inclination to relax
and have fun from time to time, so that
they can then return refreshed to their
serious pursuits, with renewed vigour,
stronger determination, and more
prepared to shoulder the burdens of
their responsibilities. This is the
balanced, integrated, wise approach that
Islam brings.
She is not arrogant
or proud
The true Muslim woman
is not arrogant or proud; she does not
look down her nose at other women who
may be inferior to her in terms of
beauty, wealth, lineage or status,
because the Muslim woman who understands
the teachings of Islam knows that
arrogance and pride in this world will
deny a woman the blessings of the
Hereafter, which Allah (SWT) will deny
to men and women who are arrogant. These
blessings are only for those who shun
arrogance and pride in world:
( That House of the
Hereafter We shall give to those who
intend not high-handedness or mischief
on earth: and the End is [best] for
the righteous.) (Qur'an 28:83)
She also knows that Allah
(SWT) does not love those who arrogantly
boast:
( And swell not your
cheek [for pride] at men, nor walk in
insolence through the earth: for Allah
loves not any arrogant boaster.) (Qur'an
31:18)
Whoever examines the
hadith texts will be astonished at the
attention given by the Prophet (PBUH) to
eradicating arrogance from people's
hearts by forbidding it, deterring it
and warning those men and women who were
afflicted with it that they stand to
lose everything in the Hereafter for the
sake of an atom's-weight of pride that
the Shaytan has placed in their
hearts. Such people are among the
arrogant ones to whom Allah (SWT) has
denied entry to Paradise, as is stated
in the hadith narrated by Muslim:
"No one will enter
Paradise who has an atom's-weight of
pride in his heart." A man asked,
"What if a man likes his clothes
and his shoes to look good?" He
said, "Allah (SWT) is Beautiful
and loves beauty (i.e. wanting to
loogood is not pride or arrogance).
Pride is denying the truth and
despising people."188
Harithah ibn Wahb (RAA)
said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Shall
I not tell you about the people of
Hell? Everyone who is harsh, proud,
disdainful and arrogant."189
It is enough for those
arrogant, proud women who boast to their
friends to know of the moral humiliation
that Allah (SWT) has prepared for them
in the Hereafter: Allah (SWT) will not
even look at them or speak to them or
praise them, and this will be the
ultimate humiliation.
The Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"On the Day of
Resurrection, Allah (SWT) will not
look at those who let their garments
trail on the ground out of
arrogance."190
"There are
three whom Allah (SWT) will not speak
to, or praise, or look at on the Day
of Judgement, and they will have a
severe punishment: an old man who
commits adultery, a king who tells
lies, and a poor man who is
arrogant."191
Pride is one of the
divine attributes and weak human
creatures have no right to it. Those who
are arrogant and proud transgress into
the realm of the divine, vying with the
Almighty Creator for one of His sublime
attributes, so they deserve the severe
punishment to which the Prophet (PBUH)
referred:
"Allah (SWT) says:
`Might is My cloak and pride is My
garment. Whoever vies with Me for
either of them, I will punish
him.'"192
Many hadith warn the
believers against being tempted by pride
at moments of human weakness. The
Prophet (PBUH) used various methods to
warn them so that the pious believers
would be protected from the awful
disease of arrogance. For example:
"Whoever thinks
highly of himself, or walks with an
arrogant attitude, will meet Allah
(SWT) when He is angry with him."193
She is humble and
modest
It comes as no
surprise that the Muslim woman who
understands anything of the teachings of
Islam should be humble and modest,
gentle, tolerant and kind in her
dealings with others. She finds hadith
which complement those that warn men and
women against arrogance, texts that
encourage modesty and humility,
promising everyone who humbles himself
for the sake of Allah (SWT) that he or
she will be raised in status, as the
Prophet (PBUH) said in the hadith
narrated by Muslim:
"No one is humble
for the sake of Allah (SWT), but Allah
(SWT) will raise him in status."194
"Allah (SWT)
told me that you should be so humble
towards one another that no one should
boast to anyone else and no one should
oppress anyone."195
The Muslim woman who
studies the life of the Prophet (PBUH)
will find in his sublime character a
unique, living example of modesty,
humility, gentleness, genuineness, noble
attitudes and tolerance. Whenever he
passed a group of boys playing, he would
stop and greet them, joking naturally
with them. His high status as Prophet
and leader of the ummah did not
prevent him from being spontaneous and
natural with others.
Anas (RAA) said that he
passed by a group of children and
greeted them. He added, "The
Prophet (PBUH) used to do that."196
Anas (RAA) gave
another account of the Prophet's
humility: he reported that one of the
slave-women of Madinah used to take
the Prophet's hand and lead him about
wherever she wanted, until he had
sorted out her needs.197
Tamim ibn Usayd came to
Madinah to ask about the rules of Islam.
He was a stranger, but he did not find
any barrier or guard between him and the
Prophet (PBUH), the first men in the
Islamic state, who was on the minbar
addressing the people. Tamim came
forward to ask some questions, and the
Prophet (PBUH) welcomed him with all
warmth, humility and compassion. Tamim
tells the story, as was related by Imam
Muslim:
"I came to the
Prophet (PBUH) whilst he was giving a
speech. I said, `O Messenger of Allah,
a stranger has come to ask about his
religion; he does not know what his
religion is.' The Prophet (PBUH)
welcomed me, interrupted his speech,
and came to me. A chair was brought
for him, so he sat down and began to
teach me from what Allah (SWT) had
taught him. Then he resumed his speech
and finished what he had been
saying."198
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to instil the attitude of humility,
based on tolerance, gentleness and a
good nature, in the hearts of his
Companions. He (PBUH) said:
"If I were to be
invited to a simple meal of a sheep's
foot or leg, or if I were to be
offered this food as a gift, I would
accept."199
This is modesty in its
purest form and human greatness of the
highest degree.
She is moderate
with regard to her
clothing and
appearance
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam
adheres to the principle of modesty in
all things, and especially in the way
she dresses and looks. She is keen to
look good, but without any extravagance,
excess or conceit. She does not blindly
follow those who throw aside new clothes
after wearing them only once and exhaust
themselves trying to keep up with the
latest fashion, which is forever
changing, as is the habit of some
foolish, ignorant women who have nothing
better to do. On the other hand, she
does not neglect her clothes or
appearance, and she tries to look good
in moderation.
She abides by the
limits of moderation set out in the
Qur'an, which describes moderation as
one of the qualities of the believing
servants of Allah (SWT), men and women
alike:
( Those who, when
they spend, are not extravagant and
not niggardly, but hold a just
[balance] between those [extremes].) (Qur'an
25:67)
The Muslim woman is
careful not to fall victim to the
enslavement of fashion and those behind
it, who are people who have no fear of
Allah (SWT) and do not have the best
interests of women - especially Muslim
women - at heart. She is careful to
avoid this enslavement which the Prophet
(PBUH) warned against and told us that
it is a source of great misery:
"Wretched is the
slave of the dinar, dirham
and fancy clothes of velvet and silk!
If he is given, he is pleased, and if
he is not given, he is
displeased."200
The Muslim woman is
protected by the teachings of Islam from
falling into the error of arrogance or
conceit regarding her appearance, and
other deeds which may lead to a person's
downfall, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"There was a man
who walked with pride because of his
fine cloak and because he was pleased
with himself. Allah (SWT) caused him
to sink in the earth, and he will go
on sinking into it until the Day of
Resurrection."201
The Muslim woman uses
means of adornment that are within the
limits of what is permitted by Islam.
She wears elegant, expensive clothes,
which are among the good things
permitted by Allah (SWT), without going
to extremes of excess. This is the
moderation advocated and encouraged by
Islam, and there is a huge difference
between the wise, moderate woman, and
the foolish, empty-headed woman who goes
to extremes.
The Muslim woman
avoids both extremes with regard to her
dress and appearance. She does not
exaggerate or go to extreme limits of
excess, neither does she neglect her
clothes and appearance to the poiof
appearing to be miserly or ascetic,
thinking that this asceticism is a form
of worship that will earn her the
pleasure of Allah (SWT).
The woman who wears
beautiful clothes to show off in front
of her friends is a sinner, because
Allah (SWT) does not love every arrogant
boaster. But the one who wears beautiful
clothes to display the bounty of Allah
(SWT) and seeking His help, is an
obedient servant who will be rewarded.
The one who neglects
her appearance out of stinginess enjoys
no position of respect among people, and
will have no reward from Allah (SWT).
The one who neglects her appearance out
of an attitude of other-worldliness,
thinking that she is worshipping Allah
(SWT) by denying herself what is
permitted, is also a sinner, as Shaykh
al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, may Allah (SWT)
have mercy on him, said.202
The essence of a woman's happiness in
this world and the next is
purposefulness, moderation and balance.
This is the attitude of the Muslim woman
who understands and adheres to the
teachings of Islam. So her clothes are
clean, beautiful, neat and suited to the
Muslim woman, demonstrating Allah's
blessings to her without going to the
extreme of showing off.
She loves noble
thinand always aims high
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam is
concerned only with noble matters, and
shuns those trivial, cheap matters that
do not deserve the attention of the
serious, refined person. She builds her
relationships with other women on this
basis of high concerns and noble aims.
She has no room in her life for making
friends with foolish, empty-headed
prattlers or for keeping busy with
trivial matters. She has no time to
spend on idle talk and foolish issues.
This is what Allah (SWT) loves to see in
His believing servants, men and women,
as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah is noble (karim)
and loves noble people. He loves noble
things and hates foolishness."203
She is concerned about
the
affairs of the
Muslims
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is not concerned only with her own
household, husband and children; she
takes an interest in the affairs of the
Muslims in general. By doing so she is
following the guidance of Islam which
counts all Muslims as a single
brotherhood, and compares them, because
of their mutual love, affection and
compassion, to a single body: if one
part of it suffers , the rest of the
body will stay awake in pain.204
Islam also likens the believers to a
solid structure, in which some bricks
support others.205
The modern Muslim
woman's concern for Muslim individuals,
families, societies and the ummah
as a whole, stems from her Islamic
character, her adherence to the
teachings of Islam, her Islamic
world-view, and her sense of the
responsibilities that Islam has given to
every Muslim man and woman to convey and
expound its teachings.
Islamic history is
filled with many examples of virtuous
women who were renowned for their
concern about the Muslims, men and
women. One example is the report given
by Imam Muslim from Salim, the freed
slave of Shaddad, who said:
"I entered upon
`A'ishah, the wife of the Prophet
(PBUH) on the day that Sa`d ibn Abi
Waqqas died. `Abd al-Rahman ibn Abi
Bakr also came in, and performed wudu'
in `A'ishah's presence. She said, `O
`Abd al-Rahman! Perform your wudu'
properly, as I heard the Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) say: "Woe to the
heels because of
Hell-fire."'"206
`A'ishah noticed that her
brother `Abd al-Rahman had not washed
his heels properly in wudu', and
she did not keep silent about what she
had seen. She reminded him that it was
essential to perform wudu'
properly, as she had heard from the
Prophet (PBUH). This is an example of
the kind of commendable concern that is
the duty of every Muslim man and woman
whenever there is a need to enjoin what
is good or forbid what is evil.
When `Umar ibn
al-Khattab (RAA) was stabbed, and he
felt that death was near, he told his
son `Abdullah: "Go to `A'ishah,
say salam to her, and ask her
permission for me to be buried in her
house alongside the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) and Abu Bakr. So `Abdullah came
to her and conveyed this message. She
said, "Certainly, he is most
welcome." Then she said: "O
my son, convey my salam to
`Umar, and tell him: Do not leave the ummah
of Muhammad without a protector.
Appoint a successor to take care of
them. Do not leave them untended after
your death, for I fear fitnah
for them."207
This was a far-sighted,
common-sense attitude of concern for the
ummah, that they should not be
left without a leader to govern their
affairs and maintain their unity and
security.
In these words of
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her), the modern Muslim woman has a
prime example which will help her to
understand the essence of Islam, her
responsibilities towards her religion
and her ummah, and the importance
of being concerned about the affairs of
the Muslims. This will give her insight
and understanding that will enable her
to undertake her duties of contributing
to the revival of Islam and calling
Muslim men and women to return to the
position of being the Best of Peoples
evolved for mankind, as Allah (SWT)
wants them to be.
She honours her
guest
The true Muslim woman
is happy to welcome guests, and hastens
to honour them, in response to the call
of faith in Allah (SWT) and the Last
Day, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever believes
in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let
him honour his guest."208
The Muslim woman who
honours her guest thus confirms that she
is a believer in Allah (SWT) and the
Last Day. Therefore this honouring of
the guest is called a reward that is
given to the guest as if thanking him
for the opportunity he has given to his
host to do a good deed, put his faith
into practice, and please Allah (SWT):
"`Whoever believes
in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let
him honour his guest by giving him his
reward.' They asked, `What is his
reward, O Messenger of Allah?' He
said: `One day and one night. The
right of hospitality is three days,
and anything beyond that is an act of
charity.'"209
Honouring guests is
regarded in Islam as a great deed which
is encouraged, and for which the sincere
Muslim woman will be rewarded. But Islam
regulated it and set limits for it. The
"reward" of the guest is one
day and one night, then comes the duty
of hospitality, which is three days.
Anything beyond that is an act of
charity which will be recorded among the
good deeds of the hospitable, generous
woman.
In Islam, honouring
the guest is not a matter of choice to
be followed or not according to one's
mood or personal feelings. It is a duty
on the Muslim, man or woman, who must
hasten to fulfil this duty as soon as a
guest knocks on the door or enters one's
yard:
"Accommodating a
guest for one night is an absolute
duty on every Muslim. Whoever gets up
in the morning and finds a guest
waiting in his yard has a duty to
fulfil, and it is up to him what he
will do about it."210
Those who do not like to
receive a guest and close their doors to
him are not good people, as is stated in
the hadith reported by Imam Ahmad, in
which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"There is no
goodness in the one who is not
hospitable."211
Islam has made
hospitality the duty of every Muslim man
and woman, and considers it to be the
guest's right. No Muslim should fall
short in carrying out this duty. If a
spirit of miserliness has overtaken a
people to the extent that they deny
their guest his right, then Islam
permits the guest to take his right from
them. This is seen in the hadith narrated
by Bukhari, Muslim and others from
`Uqbah ibn `Amir, who said:
"I said, `O
Messenger of Allah, you are sending us
to people who do not feed us. What do
you think about this?' He said, `If
you go to a people and they order that
something appropriate be brought
(i.e., food and drink), then accept
it, and if they do not do that, then
take the things you as a guest are
entitled to, that they should have
provided.'"212
Hospitality is a basic
Islamic attitude, so you will never find
a Muslim woman whose Islam is genuine
being stingy to her guest, no matter
what her or her husband's cir. Islam has
taught her that the food of two people
will feed three, and that the food of
three will feed four. So she need never
worry about an unexpected guest knocking
suddenly at her door. Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `The food of two
people is enough for three, and the
food of three is enough for
four.'"213
Jabir (RAA) said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `The
food of one is enough for two, the
food of two is enough for four, and
the food of four is enough for
eight."214
The Muslim woman whose
personality has been cleansed and
moulded by Islam does not worry about
there being too many people at the
table, unlike the Western woman who does
not receive a guest for whom she has not
prepared food in advance. The Muslim
woman welcomes her guests even if the
visit is unannounced, and invites them
to share her family's food, no matter
that her own share may be reduced by a
few mouthfuls. The true Muslim woman
prefers hunger to ignoring the rights of
this guest, whom Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger have commanded her to honour.
Indeed, Allah (SWT) will bless the food
of one so that it will become enough for
two, and He will bless the food of two
so that it will become enough for four,
and so on. There is no neefor that
dryness and inhospitability from which
Western-influenced materialistic people
are suffering in both East and West.
The righteous salaf
set the highest example of honouring
one's guest, so much so that Allah
(SWT) Himself commended the way in
which some of them honoured their
guests. An example of this is the
hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim
from Abu Hurayrah (RAA). A man came to
the Prophet (PBUH) and he sent word to
his wives (to prepare food). They
said, "We have nothing but
water." So the Prophet (PBUH)
said, "Who will play host to this
man?" One of the Ansar
said: "I will." So he took
the man to his wife and told her:
"Honour the guest of the
Messenger of Allah." She said,
"We do not have anything but the
boys' food." He said,
"Prepare the food, light the
lamp, and put the boys to sleep if
they want some supper." So she
prepared the food, lit the lamp, and
put the boys to sleep. Then she got up
as if to adjust the lamp, but she
extinguished it. The couple pretended
to eat (with their guest), but in fact
they went to bed hungry. The next
morning, the Ansari went to the
Prophet (PBUH), who told him:
"Allah (SWT) has commended what
you two did last night." Allah
(SWT) revealed:
( . . . But
[they] give them preference over
themselves, even though poverty was
their [own lot]. And those saved from
the covetousness of their own souls -
they are the ones that achieve
prosperity.) (Qur'an 59:9)215
The Muslim woman is
generous and hospitable, she welcomes
guests no matter when they arrive, and
never worries about the sudden arrival
of guests. In this way she provides the
best help to enable her husband to be
generous and hospitable like her,
welcoming guests and hastening to honour
them with a cheerful, smiling face, as
the poet216 said:
"I smile at my
guest and make him smile before he
brings in his luggage, as if I had
plenty to offer him at the time when I
am suffering hardship. Hospitality does
not consist of piling up food in front
of him; the face of the generous man is
the essence of hospitality."
She prefers others
over herself
The true Muslim woman
prefers others over herself, even if she
is poor and does not have much, because
Islam teaches its followers to do so.
This selflessness is a basic
characteristic of the true Muslim, which
distinguishes him or her from other
people.
The Ansar, (May
Allah be pleased with them), were the
first pioneers in selflessness after the
Prophet (PBUH) himself. A verse of the
Qur'an was revealed commending their
unique selflessness, which would remain
for all time a shining example to
humanity of how generosity and
selflessness should be. They welcomed
their Muhajir brothers, who had
nothing, and gave them everything:
( But those who
before them, had homes [in Madinah]
and had adopted the Faith - show their
affection to such as came to them for
refuge, and entertain no desire in
their hearts for things given to the
[latter], but give them preference
over themselves, even though poverty
was their [own lot]. And those saved
from the covetousness of their own
souls - they are the ones that achieve
prosperity.) (Qur'an 59:9)
The life of the Prophet
(PBUH) abounded with selflessness, and
he also instilled this attitude in the
hearts of the first Muslims. Sahl ibn
Sa`d (RAA) reported:
"A woman brought a
woven garment (burdah) and
said, `I wove it with my own hands for
you to wear.' The Prophet (PBUH) took
it, as he needed it. He came out to
us, wearing it wrapped around his
waist. So-and-so said, `Give it to me,
how nice it is!' The Prophet (PBUH)
said, `Of course.' The Prophet (PBUH)
was sitting in a gathering, and when
he came back, he folded up the burdah
and sent it to that man. The people
told the man: `You should not have
done that. The Prophet (PBUH) wore it
because he needed it, then you asked
for it and you knew that he does not
refuse requests.' He said, `I did not
ask for it so that I could wear it. I
asked for it so that it could be my
shroud.'" Sahl said: "And
(later on) it was his shroud."217
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to feel happy whenever he saw his
teaching of selflessness bearing fruits
in the Muslims' lives when there was
some crisis such as drought or famine.
This is seen in his words:
"When a number of
their men are killed in battle, or
they do not have enough food for their
children, the Ash`aris [a tribe]
gather whatever they have in one cloth
and share it out equally. They belong
to me and I belong to them."218
How beautiful is the
attitude of selflessness that we learn
about from the Ansar, the
Ash`aris and others like them! How great
is the virtue of the Prophet (PBUH) who
implanted this attitude in the hearts of
the first generation of Muslim men and
women, from whom successive generations
of Muslims inherited it until it became
a basic characteristic of the Islamic
society.
She checks her
customs and habits
against Islamic
standards
The Muslim woman who
has insight into the rulings of Islam
does not accept every tradition and
custom that is widely accepted by
others, for there may be customs that
are derived from ancient or modern jahili
traditions which go against Islam. These
are unacceptable to the Muslim woman,
even if everybody else accepts them
unanimously.
The Muslim woman does
not decorate her house with statues or
pictures (of animate objects), neither
does she keep a dog at home, unless it
is a guard dog, because the Prophet
(PBUH) has forbidden all of that. The sahih
hadith on this matter are very
emphatic in their prohibition, and there
is no room for prevarication or excuses:
Ibn `Umar (RAA)
reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Those who make
these images will be punished on the
Day of Resurrection and will be told:
`Give life to that which you have
created.'"219
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) returned from a journey,
and I had covered a small window with
a curtain that had images on it. When
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saw it,
his face changed colour (with anger)
and he said, `O `A'ishah! Those who
will be the most severely punished by
Allah (SWT) on the Day of Resurrection
will be those who imitated the
creation of Allah (SWT).' She said: So
we cut it up and made one or two
pillows from it."220
Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Every
maker of images will be in the Fire;
every image that he made will be
brought to life and will punish him in
Hell." Ibn `Abbas said: "So
if you must do that, make pictures of
trees and inanimate objects."221
Abu Talhah (RAA) said
that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
"The angels do not
enter a house in which there is a dog
or an image."222
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"Jibril (PBUH )
promised to come to the Prophet (PBUH)
at a certain time. That time came and
went, and hedid not come. The Prophet
(PBUH) was holding a stick in his
hand, which he threw aside, saying,
`Allah (SWT) does not break His
promise and neither do His
Messengers.' Then he turned around and
saw a puppy underneath his bed. He
said, `When did this dog get in?' I
said, `By Allah, I did not even notice
it.' He gave orders that it should be
taken out, and it was removed. Then
Jibril (PBUH ) came to him, and the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, `You
promised to come and I was waiting for
you, but you did not come.' He said,
`The dog that was in your house
prevented me. We do not enter a house
where there is a dog or an
image.'"223
There are many hadith
which prohibit pictures and statues, and
the wisdom behind this prohibition is
apparent especially nowadays when
hypocrites, sycophants and those
possessed by greed and ambition
encourage tyrants in their oppression.
One of their favoured methods is to
erect statues to them, both during their
lifetimes and after their deaths, thus
turning them into gods and demigods
seated on thrones of glory, whipping the
backs of the oppressed.
Islam brought the
doctrine of Tawhid, and destroyed
the statues of shirk and jahiliyyah
fifteen hundred years ago. It will not
permit these graven images to come back
into the lives of Muslim men and women,
whether it be in the name of
commemorating a leader, honouring
aartist or glorifying a scientist, poet
or writer. The Islamic society is a
monotheistic society where
glorification, sanctification and
veneration are only for Allah (SWT). So
there is no room in the Islamic society
for these statues and images.
As far as keeping a
dog is concerned, there is nothing wrong
with that if the dog is kept for hunting
or farming purposes, as in the hadith of
Ibn `Umar (RAA), who said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:
`Whoever keeps a dog, unless it is a
dog for hunting or herding livestock,
his reward will decrease by two qirats
every day.'"224
Keeping dogs in the house
after the Western fashion, spoiling
them, manufacturing special food and
shampoo for them, setting up
"beauty parlours" for them and
all the other things on which people in
the West and the U.S. spend millions
upon millions of dollars annually. . .
All of this has nothing whatsoever to do
with Islam and its tolerant customs. The
psychological state of Westerners, and
the dry, materialistic life they lead,
had driven them to these extremes in
caring for their dogs, to compensate for
the lack of human love in their social
lives. But the social life of Islam is
filled with human emotion, so Muslims
have no need to go to such absurd
extremes.225
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam does
not eat or drink from vessels of gold or
silver, no matter how rich she may be or
how luxurious a life she may enjoy,
because to do so is haram
according to Islam. We find this
prohibition in a number of definitive, sahih
hadith.
Umm Salamah (May Allah
be pleased with her) reported that the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever drinks
from a vessel of silver, it is as if
he is throwing Hell-fire into his
stomach."226
According to a report
given by Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Whoever eats or
drinks from vessels of gold or
silver" - (in another report:
whoever drinks from a vessel of gold
or silver) - " it is as if he is
throwing fire from Hell into his
stomach."227
The alert Muslim woman,
no matter where she lives, examines
every custom that is followed in her
society and measures it against the
rulings, values and principles of Islam.
Whatever is compatible with Islam, she
accepts, but whatever contradicts Islam,
she rejects outright, whether it is a
custom relating to betrothal and
marriage, or in family or social life.
What matters is whether the custom is
compatible with Islam, not how widely it
is spread among people.
She follows Islamic
manners in the way
she eats and drinks
The alert Muslim woman
is distinguished by her keenness to
follow Islamic etiquette in the way she
eats and drinks. If you were to see her
at the table eating food, or if you saw
the way she sets the table, you would
know her by the Islamic manners that she
has adopted in the way she eats, drinks
and sets the table.
She does not begin to
eat until she has mentioned the name of
Allah (SWT), and she eats with her right
hand from the food directly in front of
her228, according to the
teaching of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Mention the name
of Allah (SWT), eat with your right
hand, and eat from what is directly in
front of you."229
If she forgets to mention
the name of Allah (SWT) at the beginning
of her meal, she will rectify that by
saying: "Bismillahi awwalahu wa
akhirahu (in the name of Allah (SWT)
at its beginning and at its end),"
as is taught in the hadith narrated by
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Whenever any of
you eats, let him mention the name of
Allah (SWT), may He be glorified. If
he forgets to mention the name of
Allah (SWT) at the beginning, let him
say "Bismillahi awwalahu wa
akhirahu."'"230
The second issue is
eating with the right hand. The Muslim
woman who is acting according to Islamic
manners eats and drinks with her right
hand. The commandment to eat with the
right hand, and the prohibition of
eating with the left hand, are clearly
reported in numerous hadith, for
example:
"When any one of
you eats, let him eat with his right
hand, and if he drinks, let him drink
with his right hand, for the Shaytan
eats with his left hand and drinks
with his left hand."231
"None of you
should eat with his left hand or drink
with his left hand, for the Shaytan
eats with his left hand and drinks
with his left hand." Nafi` added
that the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do
not give or take with it (the left
hand)."232
If the Prophet
(PBUH) saw anyone eating with his left
hand, he would tell him to stop, and
would teach him the proper manners. If
the person arrogantly persisted, he
would rebuke him more sternly and pray
against him. Salamah ibn al-Akwa`(RAA)
said that a man ate with his left hand
in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH).
He said, "Eat with your right
hand." The man said, "I
cannot." He said, "May you
never be able to use it!" The
only thing that stopped him was
arrogance, and he never raised his
right hand to his mouth after that.233
The Prophet (PBUH) always
liked to start things from the right,
and he encouraged others to do likewise.
Bukhari, Muslim and Malik report from
Anas that the Prophet (PBUH) was given
some milk that had been mixed with water
from the well. There was a Bedouin
sitting on his right, and Abu Bakr
al-Siddiq was sitting on his left. He
drank some of the milk, then he passed
it to the Bedouin and said:
"Start on the
right and pass to the right."234
On one occasion, he asked
a young boy235 seated on his
right to give up his turn for some
elders, but the boy insisted on taking
his turn and obtaining barakah
(blessing) from the left-over of the
Prophet (PBUH), and the Prophet (PBUH)
did not criticize or rebuke him for
doing so. Suhayl ibn Sa`d (RAA)
described the incident:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) was given something to
drink, and he drank some of it. There
was a young boy on his right, and some
old men on his left. He asked the boy,
`Will you let me give some to these
men?' The boy said, `No, by Allah
(SWT), I will not give up my share
from you to anyone.' So the Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) put it in his
hand."236
There are many such
reports and texts that definitively show
that using the right hand is an
important aspect of Islamic manners,
which the true Muslim adopts readily and
does not try to find excuses. This is
what the Sahabah and Tabi`in
used to do, without exception. When
`Umar ibn al-Khattab (RAA) was the khalifah,
he used to patrol the city himself and
check up on the people. Once, he saw a
man eating with his left hand, so he
told him, "O servant of Allah, eat
with your right hand." He saw him a
second time eating with his left hand,
so he hit him with his whip and said,
"O servant of Allah, eat with your
right hand." He saw him a third
time eating with his left h, so he hit
him with his whip and said angrily,
"O servant of Allah, your right
hand!" The man replied, "O Amir
al-Mu'minin, it is busy." `Umar
said, "What is keeping it
busy?" He said, "The day of
Mu'tah237." `Umar began
to weep, and came to the man apologizing
and consoling him. He asked him,
"Who helps you make wudu`?
Who helps you with what you need?"
Then he ordered that the man should be
treated fairly and taken care of.
`Umar's concern for
this aspect of the conduct of one of the
people demonstrates the importance of
this apparently minor issue. It is
indicative of the Muslim's personality
and unique identity. `Umar was very keen
to apply this rule to the Muslims, so he
did not allow them to take it lightly or
ignore it.
I would like to
address this to those Muslim ladies who
have adopted Western table manners which
dictate that the fork should be held in
the left hand, and the knife in the
right, so that the food is cut with the
right hand and placed in the mouth with
the left. These people follow this
practice without adjusting it, so that
they are eating with their left hands,
contradictory to the teachings of their
religion. They do not bother to move the
fork to the right hand and the knife to
the left, so that they may eat with
their right hand, because they do not
want to change this Western
"etiquette." This is just one
example of the moral defeat from which
our ummah is suffering at the
hands of m, which we are following
slavishly without adjusting or adapting
foreign customs to suit our own
identity, religion and values. The true
Muslim should be the furthest removed
from such blind, ignorant imitation.
The true Muslim woman
who is proud of her religion and its
noble guidance in all aspects of life
insists on eating with her right hand
and calls on others to do likewise. She
is not ashamed to announce it in
gatherings where people still adhere
slavishly to practices that have come
from the West, so that she may explain
it to those men and women who are
ignorant and careless, and bring them
back to their senses. Then they will
follow the sunnah and eat and drink with
their right hands.
With regard to the
third issue, eating from what is nearest
to one, this is in accordance with the
Islamic manners of eating. The Prophet
(PBUH) clearly commanded this, along
with mentioning the name of Allah (SWT)
and eating with the right hand. It is
recorded in numerous hadith, such as the
report of `Umar ibn Abi Salamah (RAA),
who said:
"I was a young boy
under the care of the Messenger of
Allah (PBUH). My hand used to wander
all over the plate, so the Prophet
(PBUH) told me: `O young boy, mention
the name of Allah (SWT), eat with your
right hand, and eat from what is
directly in front of you.'"238
When the Muslim woman
eats with her hand, she does so in a
nice, good-mannered fashion, as the
Prophet (PBUH) used to do. He used to
eat with just three fingers; he did not
plunge his whole hand into the food in a
way that would put others off. This was
reported by Ka`b ibn Malik:
"I saw the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) eating with
three fingers, and when he had
finished he would lick them."239
The Prophet (PBUH)
commanded people to lick their fingers
and clean their plates, as Jabir (RAA)
reported that he said:
"You do not know
where in the food is the
blessing."240
Anas (RAA) said:
"When the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) ate, he
would lick his three fingers. He said:
`If any of you drops a mouthful, let
him pick it up, remove the dirt, and
eat it, and not leave it for the Shaytan.'
He commanded us to clean our plates
and said: `You do not know in which
part of your food is the
blessing.'"241
Besides seeking the
blessing in the food, this Prophetic
teaching also encourages Muslims to
clean their hands and their plates.
Cleaning them of whatever food is left
befits the person who is clean and well
mannered, and is indicative of his or
her sensitivity and good taste. The West
has now adopted this good practice which
was commanded by the Prophet (PBUH)
fifteen hundred years ago: nowadays the
Europeans clear their plates and do not
leave anything.
Of course, the
sensitive, well-mannered Muslim woman
does not eat noisily, making disgusting
sounds, nor does she take large
mouthfuls such as would cause her to
make a revolting spectacle of herself.
When she has finished
eating, she praises Allah (SWT) as the
Prophet (PBUH) taught us to do, thanking
Allah (SWT) for His blessing and seeking
the reward of those who give praise and
thanks.
Abu Umamah (RAA) said
that when the Prophet (PBUH) finished
his meal, he would say:
"Al-hamdu
lillahi kathiran tayyiban mubarakan
fihi, ghayra makfiyyin wa la
muwadda`in wa la mustaghnan `anhu,
rabbana (Praise be to Allah, much
good and blessed praise. O our Lord,
we cannot compensate Your favour, nor
leave it nor dispense with it)."242
Mu`adh ibn Anas (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Whoever eats a
meal then says Al-hamdu lillahi
alladhi at`amani hadha wa razaqanihi
min ghayri hawlin minni wa la quwwatin
(Praise be to Allah (SWT) Who fed me
and bestowed this provision upon me
with no power or ability on my part)',
will be forgiven for the sins
committed prior to it."243
The well-mannered Muslim
woman does not criticize food, no matter
what it is, following the teaching and
example of the Prophet (PBUH). Abu
Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) never criticized food. If
he liked it, he ate it, and if he did
not like it, he left it."244
The Muslim woman's
manners with regard to drinking are also
derived from the teachings of Islam,
which impart good manners to man in
every aspect of life.
After mentioning the
name of Allah (SWT), she drinks in two
or three draughts. She does not breathe
into the cup, nor does she drink from
the mouth of the jug or bottle if she
can help it. She should not breathe into
her drink, and she should drink sitting
down if she can.
Drinking in two or
three draughts is what the Prophet
(PBUH) used to do, as Anas (RAA)
reported:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) used to breathe three
times245 when
drinking."246
The Prophet (PBUH)
discouraged drinking in one draught:
"Do not drink in
one draught like camels do; drink in
two or three. Mention the name of
Allah (SWT) when you drink, and give
praise to Him when you finish
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