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Why Some Men Fly Solo: Breaking From Tradition - In New Culture

Saudi Arabian News Updates

12 July 2009

Following the closure of schools and universities in the Kingdom last week for the long summer break, many Saudis have made plans to take off with their families to domestic or foreign destinations. This is an annual rite that has embedded itself into mainstream culture.

Yet there are some husbands or fathers who choose to make singular vacation plans for themselves at this time of the year. Leaving their wives and children behind, these men either fly solo or in the company of other male friends. And what prompts such men to do exactly that? Now before we jump to conclusions, let us hear what they have to say.

Saleh, married and a father of three is flying off to Turkey this summer with an office mate. He justifies his decision to leave his family behind as follows: �I work hard all year long providing for my family. They are constantly enjoying themselves during the year with shopping, amusement parks, outings, etc. while I hold two jobs to provide a living. When summer comes, it is my time to relax and travel with my friends.�

Muneer has a different twist to his need to get away without his family: �I have been married for three years with one son. But my wife�s mother and sisters are always in my home, and constantly interfering in our affairs. My wife accepts that freely but I have to put up with it grudgingly to maintain harmony. My escape is for my sanity, you see. And she doesn�t mind since her family constantly surrounds her.�

Taher says his wife�s constant nagging all year drives him to seek comfort of distant shores during his summer vacation: �She is a strong-willed woman and is always criticizing me for one thing or the other. I can take that for 11 months of the year, but for one month we have an understanding that I must get away.�

Ahmed believes it�s his wife�s traditions that hamper their traveling together: �She is very conservative and does not like to be around people specially if there are males. I want to see the world. So what do we do? She goes off to her parents� village, while I find myself traveling alone.�

And how do some of the wives of these traveling men feel? Are they all nonchalant about their spouse�s foreign adventures? In a story in one of the Arabic papers last week, several Saudi housewives expressed wariness and suspicion of their husbands� desires in going alone to spend summer vacation abroad, without taking them or any other family members with them.

Talking to the Arabic daily Al-Watan, some of the women voiced their fear that their husbands might contract some communicable disease and return with the deadly virus to create havoc in their family life. Unfortunately, a few of these housewives have indeed become victims of the AIDS disease following such trips by their spouses.

Maha M., a Saudi, said she was always fearful that her husband would become a victim of the disease whenever he leaves for abroad. �I always live in fear and anguish while my husband goes abroad for vacationing. Last time, I told him to carry out medical tests before coming back home so that I can live with him in satisfaction and relief,� she said.

Another housewife, aged 25, told the newspaper that she is a victim of AIDS contracted from her husband after his return from an Arab country. �My husband used to undertake trips within the Kingdom and abroad at frequent intervals. Sometimes, he gave reasons and excuses for the trips, and on other occasions, there were no such excuses.�

�He always used to reject my request to take me with him, saying that a friend is accompanying him in the trip,� she said. The young woman, who has two children, said she thought that her pregnancy would bring about changes in his habit, but nothing had changed even after they had a child.

�After coming back from a foreign country, I found him exhausted and tired. When I inquired about it, his reply was that it was because of hard work,� she said. Later, the young woman was shocked to see that she had also contracted AIDS when she underwent medical tests following the second pregnancy. �When I informed him about this, his reaction was more shocking and mind-boggling.� Her husband divorced her accusing her of �disloyalty and cheating,� she said.

Men traveling alone or in groups with friends must realize that giving in to temptations that often come so quickly across them on distant shores, can also terminate their lives or those of their loved ones just as swiftly.

EsinIslam.Com

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