As Bart Simpson Shoulda Said To Rep.
Weiner, "Eat My Shorts!"
14 June 2011
By Jane Stillwater
Now that Jack Kevorkian has passed away, the world is
badly in need of a new Doctor Death. I want to apply
for that job! Heck, I can't even get my garden to
grow. Even the weeds here die off, so I'm a natural
when it comes to assisting old people with suicide.
All I have to do is let them spend a day in my back
yard and they'd be off to Heaven in no time. Plus I
also know P'howa, the Tibetan art of transferring
consciousness to a new body after you're dead. That's
a two-for-one deal that I'm offering here! And, unlike
Sarah Palin and her expensive corporate-run death
panels, my rates are cheap.
Speaking of transferring consciousness, someone ought
to transfer some consciousness over to Anthony Weiner.
Does he not know that you don't mess with the big
bosses? Taking on Clarence Thomas for insider trading?
What was he THINKING! This is NOT Wisconsin and there
is no Ian's Pizza available in Washington DC.
Senator Vitter can get away with visiting whore houses
all over the country but that's only because he's a
Republican. Democrats taking photos of their own
lingerie? Not so much.
And speaking of Wisconsin, I'm about to leave for the
2011 Netroots Nation convention in Minneapolis from
June 16 to June 19. Sorry, Joe, but I'm going to have
to miss Father's Day. Listening to some representative
from the Bush-Obama-Bush White House tell us what a
wonderful job Obama is doing while serving as a
place-holder for John Ellis Bush is something that I
just can't afford to miss.
And speaking of missing the boat, how about that old
Ship of Fools? Someone just equated America in 2011
with Germany in 1939. He could be onto something
there. Both countries were/are run by National
Socialists -- where corporations and governments
happily entwine themselves symbiotically while folks
like you and me are left out in the cold, passengers
on the infamous USS Ship of Fools.
Back before it was too late, all of us poor American
middle-class fools shoulda just said to the
corporatists the same thing that Bart Simpson shoulda
told Anthony Weiner to say -- "Eat my shorts!" But we
didn't.
"Jane, I think that we progressives should all get out
of America and immigrate to Costa Rica or Canada or
somewhere while the getting is still good!" said the
guy who thought America was like Germany back in 1939.
No way! I wanna stick around and see how America's
post-2012 National Socialist corporatist
concentration-camp thingie is gonna play out.
Plus there will surely be a lot of Fools left here in
America who will be needing P'howa after the
soon-to-be-legendary 2012 election takes place. After
2012, when the corporatists and "endless war"
advocates have finally taken over completely, America
is going to be needing a new Doctor Death even more
than ever. And in America's current wretched economic
crisis situation, that's an employment opportunity
that I just can't afford to pass up.
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