Across America, gay marriage is becoming a legalized
practice, leading to general societal acceptance of
the practice. In many Muslim countries, homosexual
relationships are practiced secretly, often by men
with wife and children. In Kuwait, a judge reportedly
ruled that two co-wives were obliged to sleep with
their husband as a group if that is what their husband
wanted. Apparently the women felt strongly enough
about their desire not to see each other naked that
they took this issue to court and lost! The issue is
so complex that there are even western homosexual men
who migrate to Muslim countries because they prefer
the privacy to the politics, and because they do not
actually wish to disturb the tranquility of the
heterosexual family unit and the society that is built
upon such stability. They recognize that their
behavior is an aberration to the norm and thus
threatening to the majority.
Most Muslims feel extremely squeamish about the topic
of homosexuality and many have in the past voted
Republican in order to support "family values."
However, Republican politicking against Muslims has
led to the vast majority of Muslims supporting
President Obama and becoming active in liberal circles
where Muslims and homosexuals are lumped together as
"oppressed people." Yet Islam is one of the last
American religions to uphold the law against
homosexual practices.
In the context of "live and let live," politically
active Muslims could choose to push for an even wider
acceptance of the concept of marriage to include
polygamous marriages. Gay marriage laws could even be
used to help co-wives migrate to the United States,
perhaps. But ultimately, the debate over gay marriage
could probably be ended immediately with universal or
perhaps preferably, state-wide health insurance. There
is no real practical reason that a person who wishes
to engage in a monogamous sexual relationship with
someone else would need to get a government-certified
piece of paper requiring it, except in order to
provide someone else with health insurance coverage.
While genetic theories abound regarding inborn
homosexual urges, Islam views homosexuality as
something you choose to do, not something you are. A
human being is able to find release in various ways,
but I've never heard of anyone called a "vegesexual"
(for example). One can choose to lead a hedonistic
lifestyle, or one can choose the route of procreation
and lifelong responsibility. In cases where a person
insists on living a homosexual lifestyle, the question
is legitimate whether a person should be free to
openly confess it – since it might prevent the sorrow
of a wife whose husband is not interested in her but
is just using her as a smokescreen against society
while exposing her to diseases.
Hadith seem to require excluding homosexuals from
Muslim society. However, basic politeness also forces
us to wonder how to deal with homosexual co-workers,
neighbors, and even beloved friends who have chosen to
take that path. Many of these people have many
positive qualities.
One way to approach the situation is empathy. Most
male homosexuals I have been acquainted with have in
their early years been molested by an older man. Most
female homosexuals that I know have had some bad
experience with men or marriage. From an economic
standpoint, it makes sense not to procreate, at least
in the short-term. This is why the Gay Lobby has
become so powerful, because people have money to
donate to political causes. There is also some
evidence of the Jewish Lobby and mass media producers
promoting homosexuality as a way to undermine
Christianity.
Another approach is avoidance. Many Muslims will
simply avoid dealing with homosexuals the same way as
they avoid dealing with alcoholics, and that is a
perfectly sane choice to make as well.
The main question remaining is what we are going to
tell our children. In my experience when my children
observe same sex couples holding hands, the best thing
to do is to say nothing. The kids may not even notice.
If the question of gay marriage comes up, I explain
that this is something other people might do, but
Muslims don't do that. So far they seem satisfied with
that. Ultimately, it boils down to the concept of
premarital chastity. Those young people who give
themselves permission to experiment can be drawn down
all kinds of paths, while those who choose to wait
until the time is right will have time to think about
the pros and cons of any given relationship.
Those of us who feel motivated to actively promote
heterosexuality should probably focus on the predatory
nature of many heterosexual relationships and why some
might choose to avoid them.
In Western society, there is an intense need for an
increase in same sex bonding. Since the 1970's, it is
very difficult for someone to find themselves in a
group composed entirely of their own gender. Other
than converting to Islam, becoming a lesbian is one of
the only ways for women to find themselves in an
emotionally supportive group of other women. My
friend's husband, who is non-Muslim, attended an
evening prayer during Ramadan and exclaimed that he
had never been so physically close to other men
before.
There is probably a true human need to socialize and
be close to people who share our gender. People
deprived of such human contact may develop intense
emotional needs that could easily be misinterpreted as
sexual in some contexts.
Karin Friedemann is a Boston-based freelance
writer. karinfriedemann.blogspot.com
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