Islamic Rulings - Living Shariah Verdicts

Islamic Questions & Answers

Shaikh Muhammad Salih Al-Munajjid & Shaikh Sa'd Al-Humaid

Translation reviewer: Abu Adham Osama Omara & Translation reviewer: Abu Adham Osama Omara

I have a problem with my husband i.e. I know that I am supposed to go to him when he calls me to his room, even if I'm not in the appropriate mood. I also know that lying is a despicable thing, but pleasing my husband is utmost thing on my mind.

So is it wrong of me to fake having a sexual climax with my husband?

This is a terrible problem for me, because I don't want to lie, but it embarrasses my husband if he cannot fulfill my pleasure.

This pretending is hard to stop, and also extremely embarrassing for me to admit to my husband. Please help me, and also remember me in your du'aa'!

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah to reward you with good for your patience and for fulfilling your hus-band's desires in obedience to the command of your Lord.

The solution to the problem you mention is by speaking frankly. That does not mean embarrassing your husband or accusing him of being inconsiderate.

This problem often stems from the fact that the husband is not aware that there is a problem at all, not from the fact that he is inconsiderate.

The husband may go ahead and have intercourse and not pay attention to some things that he should be doing, one of which is fulfilling his wife's needs.

Perhaps you could benefit by reading some books on the topic which explain the basis of the relationship and intimacy between a man and a woman such as Tuhfat al-'Aroos by Mahmood Mahdi Istambuli.

The point is that there is nothing wrong with speaking to your husband about this mat-ter, and suggesting that he reads about it.

Speaking frankly is preferable to suffering in this manner, and the problem can be solved easily.

This does not excuse the woman from sharing some of the responsibility. She also has things that she must do, such as adorning herself for her husband, being loving towards him and encouraging him to be intimate with her.

We ask Allaah to set the Muslims' affairs straight.

And Allaah knows best

Why are women not allowed to have 3 or 4 husbands but men can have 3 or 4 wives?

Praise be to Allaah.

This is connected primarily to faith in Allaah. All religions are agreed that it is not per-missible for a woman to have intercourse with anyone except her husband. Among these religions are those which are undoubtedly of heavenly origin, such as Islam and the original versions of Judaism and Christianity.

Belief in Allaah dictates submission to His rulings and laws, for Allaah is All-Wise and All-Knowing, He knows what is in the best interests of man-kind. So we may understand the wisdom behind the ruling of sharee'ah, or we may not be able to grasp it.

With regard to the permissibility of multiple spouses for men and its prohibition for women, there are several issues which are obvious to every intelligent person.

Allaah has made woman like a vessel, but man is not like that. If a woman becomes pregnant (when she has had intercourse with a number of men at one time), the father can never be known. People's lines of descent and lineage will be mixed up, families will be destroyed and chil-dren will be lost.

Women will be burdened with so many children that they will be unable to bring them up and spend on their maintenance. Maybe women would find themselves forced to sterilize themselves, which would lead to the extinction of the human race.

Moreover it is medically proven now that one of the major causes of the serious dis-eases which have become widespread, such as AIDS, etc., is women having intercourse with more than one man, and the mixing of seminal fluids in the woman's womb causes these lethal diseases.

Hence Allaah has prescribed a waiting period ('iddah) for a woman who has been divorced or whose husband has died, until enough time has passed for her womb and passages to be cleansed of any traces of her former husband, and the monthly period also has a role to play in this matter.

Perhaps these brief pointers will dispense with the need for a lengthy discussion. If the purpose of the question is research for a university or other assignment, he may refer to the books which have been written on the topic of plural marriage (polygyny) and the wisdom behind it.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

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