He Is
Involved In Da'wah But Feels That He Is A Hypocrite And
Weak In Faith
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I have a VERY important and urgent question. I would
really like a DETAILED answer as your answer could
change my life !!! Mail me if you want more
information.
Please be patient with the length of my question as I
believe the more I inform you the better you can
answer the question.
I live in the West and I was born in a Muslim family.
From my early teenage years I became active in Islam.
Even from a young age I believed in Islam and I even
wondered how people went to sleep without praying !!
I'm now much older and I have changed completely. My
belief in Islam and even in Allah has disappeared.
Basically I have become an outright hypocrite of the
worst kind. I stay away from women but not
pornography. I am prepared and trying to give that up
and that maybe the cause of my fall but I've noticed
that it's too late, as this is now a branch of the
problem and not the root as the root of the problem is
my belief in Allah and Islam.
Sometimes I believe I am crazy as I continuosly have
erroneous thoughts about God, where I came from,
Islam, right and wrong, etc.. I seem to be fighting
between belief and disbelief, especially during
prayer.
I have not abandoned prayer, etc, but it really does
not benefit me any more. If you meet me you'll think
I'm practicing from my appearance and speech, etc, I
go to the mosque, I fast, but really I'm a true
hypocrite whom no one knows. I cannot go on like this.
I actually actively give Dawah aswell to non-muslims
but in my heart I really disbelieve, so why am I doing
this ??? But when I directly discuss Allah it hurts me
due to my confusion as I have lost my belief and find
it hard to fake belief at times !!!
Praise be to Allaah.
You should know, my brother, that the most essential
thing for any person is his commitment to Islam and
his faith, and he will not be harmed by whatever he
misses out on of worldly things if Allaah keeps his
religion safe. Allaah is the King of kings and is the
One Who moves the heart; He Alone is the One Who
strengthens the heart and makes it steadfast. For this
reason I advise you, my brother, to turn to Allaah,
for He is a loving and merciful Lord Who is
Compassionate towards His slaves. If you turn to Him
sincerely and pray with true longing and ask Him to
strengthen your faith and protect you from the evil of
the whispers of your own soul and of the Shaytaan,
then Allaah is Close and responds to the prayers of
those who call on Him. Do not forget this important
fact, for it is a source of relief and a way out from
your problem, in sha Allaah. I would also like to
remind you of the virtues of reading Qur'aan and
reciting a lot of du'aa's, morning and evening, for
this will have a great effect in bringing peace and
comfort to your heart.
Avoid the things that will make you feel far away from
Allaah and bring you closer to the Shaytaan and his
whispers. One of these things is what you mention in
your question, namely looking at pornography and so
on, because if a person persists in sin, it piles up
in his heart until it is overwhelmed with darkness and
is not affected by any exhortation or preaching. So
hasten to repent from this sin and others, and fulfil
the conditions of repentance properly. We also advise
you to avoid sitting with bad company and in
gatherings that could increase your confusion or
provoke your desires; look for good people and keep
company with them, because a man will be on the
religion of his friend.
It seems from your question that you are suffering
from a specific psychological problem, either
financial or social or otherwise, and this is having
an effect on this waswaas (insinuating thoughts from
Shaytaan) that you are suffering. If this is indeed
the case, we advise you to treat this problem quickly,
because this may be a way of dealing with what you are
suffering from. We will help you as much as we can, in
sha Allaah.
What you are going through might be a kind of
depression or anxiety, for one reason or another. You
know that Allaah has not created a disease without
also creating the cure. It is known that there are
medicines that may be of help, by the grace of Allaah,
in treating this kind of sickness. So ask about this
kind of medication from a psychiatrist
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