Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
If a girl loves a boy from a far, has she committed a
sin?
Praise be to Allah.
Islam came to close the doors that lead to evil and
sin, and is keen to block all the means that may lead
to corruption of hearts and minds. Love and
infatuation between the sexes are among the worst of
problems.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy
on him) said in Majmoo' al-Fataawa (10/129):
Love is a psychological sickness, and if it
grows strong it affects the body, and becomes a
physical sickness, either as diseases of the brain,
which are said to be diseases caused by waswaas, or
diseases of the body such as weakness, emaciation and
so on. End quote.
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo'
al-Fataawa (10/132):
Loving a non-mahram woman leads to many negative
consequences, the full extent of which is known only
to the Lord of people. It is a sickness that affects
the religious commitment of the sufferer, then it may
also affect his mind and body. End quote.
It is sufficient to note that one of the effects of
love of a member of the opposite sex is enslavement of
the heart which is held captive to the loved one. So
love is a door that leads to humiliation and
servility. That is sufficient to put one off this
sickness.
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in
Majmoo' al-Fataawa (10/185):
If a man is in love with a woman, even if she is
permissible for him, his heart remains enslaved to
her, and she can control him as she wishes, even
though outwardly he appears to be her master, because
he is her husband; but in fact he is her prisoner and
slave, especially if she is aware of his need and love
for her. In that case, she will control him like a
harsh and oppressive master controls his abject slave
who cannot free himself from him. Rather he is worse
off than that, because enslavement of the heart is
worse than enslavement of the body. End quote.
Attachment to the opposite sex will not happen to a
heart that is filled with love of Allah; it only
affects a heart that is empty and weak, so it is able
to gain control of it, then when it becomes strong and
powerful it is able to defeat the love of Allah and
lead the person into shirk. Hence it is said: Love is
the action of an empty heart.
If the heart is devoid of the love and remembrance of
the Most Merciful, and is a stranger to speaking to
Him, it will be filled with love of women, images and
listening to music.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy
on him) said in Majmoo' al-Fataawa (10/135):
If the heart loves Allah alone and is sincerely
devoted to Him, it will not even think of loving
anyone else in the first place, let alone falling in
love. When a heart falls in love that is due to the
lack of love for Allah alone. Hence because Yusuf
loved Allah and was sincerely devoted to Him, he did
not fall into the trap of love, rather Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Thus it was, that We might turn away from him
evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was
one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves" [Yusuf
12:24]
As for the wife of al-'Aziz, she was a mushrik as were
her people, hence she fell into this trap. End quote.
The Muslim must save himself from this fate and not
fall short in guarding against it and ridding himself
of it. If he falls short in that regard and follows
the path of love, by continuing to steal haraam
glances or listening to haraam things, and being
careless in the way he speaks to the opposite sex,
etc, then he is affected by love as a result, then he
is sinning and will be subject to punishment for his
actions.
How many people have been careless at the beginning of
this problem, and thought that they were able to rid
themselves of it whenever they wanted, or that they
could stop at a certain limit and not go any further,
until the sickness took a strong hold and no doctor or
remedy could help?
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said in
Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (147):
If the cause happens by his choice, he has no
excuse for the consequences that are beyond his
control, but if the reason is haraam, the drunkard had
no excuse. Undoubtedly following one glance with
another and allowing oneself to keep thinking about
the person is like drinking intoxicants: he is to be
blamed for the cause. End quote.
If a person strives to keep away from the things that
lead to this serious sickness, by lowering his gaze
and not looking at haraam things, not listening to
haraam things, and averting the passing thoughts that
the shaytaan casts into his mind, then after that
something of the evils of this sickness befalls him
because of a passing glance or a transaction that is
basically permissible, and his heart becomes attached
to a woman, there is no sin on him for that Insha
Allah, because Allah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope"
[al-Baqarah 2:286]
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in
Majmoo' al-Fataawa (11/10):
If that does not result from carelessness or
transgression on his part, then there is no sin on him
for what befalls him. End quote.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said in
Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (147):
If love occurs for a reason that is not
haraam, the person is not to be blamed, such as one
who loved his wife or slave woman, then he separated
from her but the love remained and did not leave him.
He is not to be blamed for that. Similarly if there
was a sudden glance then he averted his gaze, but love
took hold of his heart without him meaning it to, he
must, however, ward it off and resist it. End
quote.
But he must treat his heart by putting a stop to the
effects of this love, and by filling his heart with
love of Allah and seeking His help in that. He should
not feel too shy to consult intelligent and
trustworthy people for advice or consult some doctors
and psychologists, because he may find some remedy
with them. In doing that he must be patient, seek
reward, remain chaste and keep quiet, and Allah will
decree reward for him Insha Allah.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy
on him) said in Majmoo' al-Fataawa (10/133):
If he is tested with love but he remains
chaste and is patient, then he will be rewarded for
fearing Allah. It is known from shar'i evidence that
if a person remains chaste and avoids haraam things in
looking, word and deeds, and he keeps quiet about it
and does not speak of it, so that there will be haraam
talk about that, whether by complaining to another
person or committing evil openly, or pursuing the
beloved one in any way, and he is patient in obeying
Allah and avoiding sin, despite the pain of love that
he feels in his heart, just as one who is afflicted
with a calamity bears the pain of it with patience,
then he will be one of those who fear Allah and are
patient, "Verily, he who fears Allah with obedience to
Him (by abstaining from sins and evil deeds, and by
performing righteous good deeds), and is patient, then
surely, Allah makes not the reward of the Muhsinoon
(good doers) to be lost" [Yusuf 12:90]. End
quote.
See also questions no. 20949 and 33702.
And Allah knows best.
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