He Wants To Marry Her But She Does Not Wear Niqaab. Should He Go Ahead And Propose Or Should He Look For Someone Else?

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I am a young Arab man who lives according to our Arab traditions, or what is known as a good attitude and etiquette, but this commitment has nothing to do with adhering to Islamic teachings, because in our country adhering to tradition does not contradict listening to music, mixing, dealing with riba-based banks and so on. I proposed marriage to a girl in the same environment that I am living in, and her family have been friends of my family for a long time. They all approved of the marriage since they know that we are both of good character. But my problem, unfortunately, started when I began to read about the rules on marriage in Islam and I started to reduce mixing and to pray regularly in the mosque and let my beard grow and not deal with riba-based banks and not listen to music and so on. Now both families are regarding me as an extremist, except those on whom Allaah has mercy, and they started to make this girl afraid of me, even though she loves me very much and has told them all about that many times. The girl wants to be committed but she is not able to do some things such as wearing niqaab or covering the face. So she too regards these things as signs of extremism in religion, as her family do.
Should I forget about this girl who is of good character and proper etiquette and who is keen to pray and recite the adhkaar of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and is trying to be committed, and who loves me and tells others of that, and does not want to lose me, but she is unable to do some things that have to do with religion, such as covering her face, and look for someone else who is committed but whose family and behaviour I do not know and my judgement of her will be only according to what I hear from those who know her family and behaviour?.


Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah the Almighty to make us and you steadfast in adhering to His religion, and to bless us and you with more obedience and righteousness.

With regard to what you are asking about, it is better for you to stay with this girl towards whom your heart is inclined, and who feels likewise about you, and who has no faults that would cause you to leave her. All that there is, is that she needs a little care and encouragement and sound Islamic education to accept and follow the commands of Allaah.

A lot of that may come after marriage, especially if you treat her nicely and move her into a better environment than the one she is in, which is what we advise and encourage you to do.

There is no reason why a woman who loves her religion and is obedient to her husband should not respond to the command of Allaah as regards her clothing, especially since this will make her husband love and respect her more.

Her refusal to wear niqaab may be because of the lies fabricated by some of those who are ignorant and who follow their own whims and desires, who say that the niqaab is a custom inherited from the Jaahiliyyah and that it was not brought by Islam. You should explain to her the ruling on a woman covering her face, with evidence from the Qur'aan and Sunnah, and tell her that the scholars are unanimously agreed that this ruling is prescribed in Islam.

Remind her of the Sahaabi women who hastened to tear their aprons so that they could cover their faces after the verse of hijab was revealed, and encourage her to have righteous friends. Tell her that this world is transient and soon each of us will meet our Lord with our deeds.

Neither you nor she should worry about what your families will say. As for such environments where the rulings of Islam are not known and people cannot differentiate between proper adherence to Islam and extremism no attention should be paid to them or to what they say about one who adheres to the path of righteousness.

If your wife does not respond to the Islamic injunction to cover the face, then be patient with her, and try to convey the message to her in some other way, such as from another women who is involved in da'wah, or by means of tapes and books by scholars whose knowledge and religious commitment can be trusted.

Seek the help of Allaah and persist in calling upon Him, asking Him for support and help to establish a household based on what our Lord loves and is pleased with.

Show her the answer to question no. 21134, which speaks of the obligation to wear niqaab according to the Qur'aan and Sunnah.

And please see question no. 20343 which speaks of the husband's duty to advise his wife and how he may do so.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Confused about women covering their faces

First of all I must make clear that I have read your articles related to this topic. Although I have heard other evidences to suggest that the FACE veil is optional, due to the following:
(1)When the ayah was revealed commanding the believing women to cover (24:31) only the wives of the prophet covered themselves with a facial veil. The other Muslim women did not take steps to veil their faces.
(2)When some of the sahabah intended to propose to a women they would go and look at her without her knowledge. And of course if she had worn a facial veil they would not have been able to see her?
This topic is causing me much confusion please clarify the importance of the niqaab, I only want to do the correct thing for the sake of Allah.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We appreciate your keenness to find out the truth and follow it, and we ask Allaah to show us the truth as truth and enable us to follow it, and to show us falsehood as false and enable us to avoid it. The correct view regarding this matter is that it is obligatory for women to cover all of their bodies in front of men. See question no. 21134.

Secondly:

Your saying that "the rest of the Muslim women did not cover their faces" is not correct. Rather the command to observe full hijab applied to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his daughters and the believing women. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful"

[al-Ahzaab 33:59]

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)"

[al-Noor 24:31]

The command in these two verses is general and applies to all believing women.

Al- Bukhaari narrated that ‘Aa'ishah said: "May Allaah have mercy on the first Muhaajir women. When Allaah revealed the words ‘and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)' they tore their aprons and covered their faces with them." See also question no. 6991.

Abu Dawood (4101) narrated that Umm Salamah said: "When the words ‘to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies' [al-Ahzaab 33:59] were revealed, the women of the Ansaar went out looking as if there were crows on their heads because of the covering." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

The Muhaajir and Ansaari women obeyed this command and covered their faces.

Thirdly:

With regard to a man looking at the woman to whom he wishes to propose marriage, this is part of the Sunnah. Abu Dawood (1783) narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When any one of you wants to propose marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will motivate him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.' I proposed marriage to a girl and I used to hide myself until I saw that which motivated me to go ahead and marry her, then I married her." Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, no. 1832. In the report narrated by Ibn Maajah it says that he hid in her garden to see her.

This hadeeth indicates that the women of the Sahaabah used to cover their faces, because if it had been the custom for women to uncover their faces, there would have been no need to hide, because he would have been able to see her in any place if she had been uncovering her face.

But because it was the custom for women to cover their faces, he needed to hide. It is well known that if there are no non-mahram men around, a woman does not cover her face, such as when she is in her house or in her garden, as in this hadeeth.

And Allaah knows best.

 

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