Engagement According To Sharee'ah: The Fiance/Fiancee Exchanging Rings - Is This The Prescribed Method?
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
What is
the concept of engagement in Islam. Usually an
engagement party is one in which the fiance/fiancee
exchange rings. Is this the prescribed method in the
shariah?
Praise be to Allaah.
Engagement
according to sharee'ah means that the man asks the
woman to marry him. The view of the scholars is that
engagement is prescribed for one who wants to get
married. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of
betrothal…"
[al-Baqarah 2:235]
and it was narrated that the Prophet (Peace And
Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) got engaged to 'Aa'ishah.
(Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4793). And in al-Saheeh it
also states that the Messenger (Peace And Blessings Of
Allaah Be Upon Him) got engaged to Hafsah. (Al-Bukhaari,
al-Nikaah, 4830).
The Messenger of Allaah (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah
Be Upon Him) encouraged the one who wants to get
engaged to look at the woman to whom he wishes to
propose. According to the hadeeth, "When any one of
you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at
that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry
her, then let him do so." (Abu Dawood, al-Nikaah,
2082; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi
Dawood, 1832).
But in Islamic sharee'ah there are no specific
practices that must be followed with regard to
engagement. What some Muslims do, announcing the
engagement, having a party to celebrate and exchanging
gifts, all comes under the heading of customs which
are permissible in principle, and none of them are
haraam except those which sharee'ah indicates are
haraam – which includes the exchange of rings between
the engaged couple, a custom which is known in Arabic
as "dublah." This custom goes against sharee'ah for
the following reasons:
1 – Some people think that these rings increase the
love between the spouses and have an effect on their
relationship. This is an ignorant (jaahili) belief and
is an attachment to something for which there is no
basis in sharee'ah and which does not make sense.
2 – This custom involves imitating the non-Muslims
such as Christians and others. It is not a Muslim
custom at all. The Messenger (Peace And Blessings Of
Allaah Be Upon Him) warned us against that when he
said, "You will inevitably follow the paths of those
who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by
cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a
lizard, you will follow them." We said, "O Messenger
of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?" He
said, "Who else?" (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-I'tisaam
bi'l-Kitaab wa'l-Sunnah, 6889; Muslim, al-'Ilm, 6723).
And the Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon
Him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them."
(Narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Libaas, 4031; classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 3401).
3 – This engagement usually takes place before the 'aqd
(marriage contract), in which case it is not
permissible for the man to put the ring on his
fiancée's hand himself, because she is still a
stranger (non-mahram) to him, and has not yet become
his wife.
Finally, we will quote the words of Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
(may Allaah have mercy on him) on this matter:
" 'Dublah' is a word that refers to the engagement
ring. In principle there is nothing wrong with rings
(i.e., they are permissible), unless they are
accompanied by certain beliefs, as some people do when
the man writes his name on the ring that he gives to
his fiancée, and the woman writes her name on the ring
that she gives to her fiancé, believing that this will
guarantee the bonds between the spouses. In this case
this 'dublah' or engagement ring is haraam, because it
represents an attachment to something for which there
is no basis in sharee'ah and which does not make
sense. Similarly it is not permissible for the man to
put the ring on the woman's hand himself, because she
is not yet his wife, so she is still a stranger (i.e.,
non-mahram) to him; she is not his wife until after
the marriage contract is done."
Al-Fataawa al-Jaami'ah li'l-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 3/914.
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