Should He Marry Someone Who Is Above Him In Terms Of Social Status?
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I am a
young Muslim man and praise be to Allaah I want to
keep myself chaste by marrying a Muslim sister whose
social status is above mine. What is the Islamic
ruling on that?
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
If a man is able to provide the mahr (dowry) and can
afford the expenses of marriage and the maintenance of
his wife and household, then he is compatible with
her, according to the majority of scholars, both those
who regard wealth as a condition of compatibility,
such as the Hanafis and Hanbalis, and those who do
not, such as the Maalikis and the Shaafa'is according
to the more correct view among them.
As for the view that the husband must be rich on the
same level as the wife, this is a less correct view
that was held by some of the fuqaha'.
But the correct view, based on the evidence, is that
compatibility does not matter except with regard to
religious commitment, as is the view of Maalik (may
Allaah have mercy on him). Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: Chapter on the ruling of the
Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) on
compatibility in marriage. Allaah, may He be exalted,
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O mankind! We have created you from a male and a
female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you
may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of
you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa
[i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious)]"
[al-Hujuraat 49:13]
"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in
Islamic religion)"
[al-Hujuraat 49:10]
"The believers, men and women, are Awliyaa' (helpers,
supporters, friends, protectors) of one another"
[al-Tawbah 9:71]
The Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon
Him) said: "There is no superiority of an Arab over a
non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a white
man over a black man, or of a black man over a white
man, except in terms of taqwa. The people are from
Adam, and Adam is from dust." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi
(3270); classed as hasan by al-Albaani.
In al-Tirmidhi (1085) it is narrated that the Prophet
(Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) said: "If
there comes to you one with whose religious commitment
and character you are pleased, then marry (your female
relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do
that there will be tribulation in the land and great
mischief." They said: O Messenger of Allaah, even if
he is such and such? He said: "If there comes to you
one with whose religious commitment and character you
are pleased, then marry (your female relative under
your care) to him," three times. Classed as hasan by
al-Albaani.
The Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon
Him) said to Banu Bayaadah: "Give (your female
relative) to Abu Hind in marriage and ask for his
daughters in marriage" and he was a cupper.
The Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon
Him) married Zaynab bint Jahsh al-Qurashiyyah to his
freed slave Zayd ibn Haarithah, and he married
Faatimah bint Qays al-Fahriyyah al-Qurashiyyah to
Usaamah, the son of Zayd, and he married Bilaal ibn
Rabaah to the sister of 'Abd al-Rahmaan ibn 'Awf.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Good statements are for good people (or good women
for good men) and good people for good statements (or
good men for good women)"
[al-Noor 24:26]
"then marry (other) women of your choice"
[al-Nisa' 4:3]
What is implied by the ruling of the Prophet (Peace
And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) is that attention
should be paid to compatibility in religious
commitment first and foremost. So a Muslim woman
should not be given in marriage to a kaafir, or a
chaste woman to an immoral man. The Qur'aan and Sunnah
do not pay attention to any compatibility beyond that.
It is haraam for a Muslim woman to marry an evil
adulterer. No attention is paid to lineage,
profession, wealth, or whether the man is free or a
slave. It is permissible for a lowly slave to marry a
free woman of noble birth, if he is chaste and Muslim.
And it is permissible for a non-Qurashi to marry a
Qurashi woman, and for a non-Haashimi to marry a
Haashimi woman, and for poor men to marry rich women.
And he said: The fuqaha' differed as to the definition
of compatibility. Maalik said, according to the
apparent view of his madhhab, that it refers to
religious commitment. According to a report narrated
from him: It means three things: Being similar in
terms of religious commitment; both being slaves or
both being free; and compatibility with regard to
physical soundness. End quote from Zaad al-Ma'aad
(5/144). See also al-Mughni (7/27) and al-Mawsoo'ah
al-Fiqhiyyah (34/271).
Secondly:
Social level may refer to lineage, wealth, education,
profession or job, or it may mean all of them.
If a man's religious commitment and character are
pleasing, then he is compatible with the woman, no
matter what her social level, according to the more
correct view, as noted above. This is the basic
principle and the ruling of sharee'ah. But it remains
to examine the situation of each suitor and whether he
is suitable to marry one whose social level is above
him, or not.
It seems – and Allaah knows best – that if the
difference is great in terms of lineage, wealth,
education and profession, that it is not advisable to
go ahead with this marriage, because there are usually
problems from the woman or her family. There may be
differences in lifestyle and the ways in which they do
things, which may put the spouses off one another.
But if the difference is small, or it has to do with
one area but can be made up for in another area, then
there is nothing wrong with it in that case, such as
if the husband is poor but he is highly qualified, or
he is qualified for a decent job, or some of his
family are of high standing and so on.
Then there are cases in which the woman and her family
are so righteous that they are above looking at
material concerns and measuring people thereby, and
they may want to choose a husband who is poor because
of his righteousness and so on. But it is better if
the husband is the one who is of a higher status.
Whatever the case, the precise advice in each case
depends on complete knowledge of both parties and
their families. Perhaps you can seek advice from
someone whom you trust in your community.
We ask Allaah to help you and guide you.
And Allaah knows best.
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