She Committed An Immoral Action With A Young Man, Then He Left Her; Should She Wait For Him To Marry Her?
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I just wanted to ask you Question regarding something serious.
basically one of my friend she is afghan 20 years old and she was going out with
a bengali boy who is 19 years old, they both love each other and they both had
sexual intercourse, the boy broke up with because of his sisters because his
sisters likes ruining peoples relationships. they went out with each other 1
year and so, the boy parents kept on telling him to get married but he refused
becuase hes young and has no job nothing. he was brainwashed to go back home and
he still called the girl and everything and a month later him being back home
the girl heard hes getting married without any fuss or telling anyone, most
people its black magic because the boy didnt wanted to get married.
the girl doesnt know what to do now because she wants to move on with her life
but she can't and she says if the boy comes back to london should she take him
back if he comes back to her??? and if some one has done black magic on him
'sisters' would one day the truth will come out or not??
the girl wanted to ask if she can do ishtikara and see what happens or should
she just leave everything to Alla'Tala as she has done now!!
and do you think its better for her to stay away from hes family and has no sort
of contact with them??
It would be really helpful if you can sort this out please
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
This relationship that developed between the young man and the young woman,
which usually starts with a look and infatuation, and often ends with immoral
actions, is a haraam and sinful relationship which can only lead to evil,
corruption and temptation. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah
(i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)), and an evil way
(that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him)"
[al-Isra' 17:32].
Shaykh as-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The prohibition on coming near it is more eloquent than simply prohibiting this
action, because that includes the prohibition on all the things that lead to it
and promote it. The one who plays with fire will soon get burnt, especially with
regard to this matter which many people have a strong desire for.
End quote from Tafseer as-Sa'di, p. 457
For a young man to get to know a girl who is not his mahram, and for them to
fall in love with one another, and what that leads to of meetings and
conversations and strong emotions and so on – all of these are among the most
easily accessible doorways to mischief and fitnah. Anyone who has ears to hear
or eyes to see will know that for certain.
The issue here is not a case of magic that was done by his sister, or anything
else; rather the issue is that this relationship was built on a false foundation
from the outset. The first step to putting things right, and the most essential
obligatory duty for both of them in this case is to repent to Allah; both the
young man and the young woman should repent from that illicit relationship, then
they should turn over a new page with Allah. One of the conditions of repentance
for the sinner is that he should regret the sin that has passed, give it up, and
resolve not to go back to it again. All of these steps mean that each of them is
required to cut off ties with the other, because this is an invalid relationship
that was based on haraam.
Secondly:
There is no room here for praying istikhaarah, because salaat al-istikhaarah is
only prescribed concerning permissible matters that a person may be confused
about and not know which is better for him. With regard to obligatory or
mustahabb (encouraged) matters, there is no istikhaarah for them at all, because
it is enjoined to do them according to Islam. By the same token, there is no
istikhaarah for haraam and makrooh (disliked) matters either, because it is
forbidden to do them according to Islam.
See the answer to question no. 11981
Once it is understood that there is no room for istikhaarah in this case,
according to Islam, and that what is required from both parties is to repent
sincerely to Allah and put an end to the bad relationship between them, any wise
person will realise that holding onto far-fetched notions and relying on a human
being who has gone away is foolish and is contrary to what is in one's best
interests in both religious and worldly terms. Hence it is said: Whoever
referred you to someone who is absent has not been fair to you. This young man
turned away from marrying that girl, even though he lived close to her in the
same city, so how can she wait for him after he has left her and gone far away?
If both of them repent, and cut off ties between them, then after that he wants
to marry her, there is nothing wrong with that, but that is on condition that
you do not wait for him; rather you should erase that dark page from your life,
and start a new page, in the hopes that Allah will accept your repentance, help
you to carry on with your life, conceal your past mistake, and give you some one
better than him.
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 117567 and 148528
And Allah knows best.
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