She Has Gone To Her Family's Home And Is Claiming That She Is Not Married Because The Marriage Was Not Documented
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I'm in a tricky situation and need some guidances, me and my wife are on bad
terms and not living in the same house anymore. She wanted a divorce from me and
when I asked why it was because her mother doesn't like me and sees me unfit for
her daughter it has nothing to do with the accepted Sharia law options for
divorce just because I had an arguments with my mother in law its stupid but my
wife and her family are very ignorant when it comes to islam and don't know much
many times they make up stuff in order to benefit their situation and when I
question them she tells my wife I have no respect for her. Also my inlaws always
intervenes and tells my wife why i do this and that why does he not love you
essentially causing a lot of issues of trust and peace for us. She has moved
back to her mother's house and they have cut all communication with me I cant
get hold of her blocked from social media and I fear my wife is involved with
someone else because according to her mother we never got married only brought
an imaan so nikkah never happened no legal papers signed and also my wife never
bleed during our wedding night so there's no consumation of marrige according to
them so shes free to marry someone else and has no responsibilities to me. My
question is what can I do, if I pray and wait for her to come back will I sin
for not being there for her? I tried telling them shes married and commiting
serious evil but they do not listen. I dont want to divorce am I wrong for
Praise be to Allah
If the marriage fulfilled the necessary conditions, namely the proposal and
acceptance, the consent of the wife, and the presence of the wife's guardian and
two witnesses, then it is a valid marriage, even if it was done verbally.
Documentation of the marriage contract is only required in order to preserve
people's rights; it is not a condition of the marriage being valid.
If we assume that one of the conditions – such as the presence of the woman's
guardian or his deputy – was not fulfilled, then it was an invalid marriage, yet
despite that the wife cannot exit the marriage except through divorce.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a woman gets married in an
invalid marriage, it is not permissible for anyone else to marry her until (the
first husband) divorces her or her marriage is annulled.
End quote from al-Mughni (7/9)
See also the answer to question no. 256417.
It makes no difference if the wife did not lose her virginity, because as soon
as the marriage contract is done, she becomes a wife, and if she has moved to
her husband's house, it is haraam for her to leave the house except with his
permission, even if she is going to visit her family.
Among the evidence that the husband's permission is necessary even to visit her
family is the report narrated in as-Saheehayn from 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her), according to which she said to the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him): Do you give me permission to go to my parents?
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4141) and Muslim (2770).
If the woman goes out without her husband's permission, then she is disobeying
her Lord and her husband, so how about if she goes further in disobedience and
refuses to go back to him?
it is not permissible for a woman to seek divorce except for a valid reason that
makes it permissible to do so. If she does not have any valid reason, then she
is exposing herself to a stern warning from Allah.
It was narrated by Abu Dawood (2226), at-Tirmidhi (1187) and Ibn Maajah (2055)
that Thawbaan (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Any woman who asks her husband
for a divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, the fragrance of Paradise
will be forbidden to her." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
What is meant by it being absolutely necessary is that there should be some
hardship and a compelling reason for divorce.
From what you have mentioned, there does not seem to be any reason that makes it
permissible to ask for divorce.
The woman and her family should fear Allah, may He be exalted, and adhere to the
limits that He has set. They should beware of His anger and wrath.
If this wife marries another man, then her action constitutes zina (adultery),
which is haraam and is a grievous crime.
It is not permissible for her to form a relationship with any man who is not her
mahram, even if she is not married, so how about if she is already married? This
is even worse and more reprehensible.
What we advise is to bring in a mediator from among her family, neighbours or
friends, or the imam of the mosque, who can warn them about the consequences of
this evil action, and remind them of the rights of the husband, and dispel any
doubts they may have, because this is a valid marriage which the woman cannot
exit except by means of divorce.
Allah instructs us to look for two arbitrators in the event of wilful defiance
(on the part of the wife), as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two)
arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for
peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower,
Well-Acquainted with all things"
Perhaps you can find someone among your family and her family who can do that.
Moreover, there is no sin on you if you do not give her her rights of
maintenance and the like, because the one who is wilfully defiant does not
deserve maintenance, and because she is the one who has forfeited her rights by
her own actions, and has been disobedient and committed sin.
If your wife and her family insist on their attitude, then we advise you to
leave her, because there is nothing good for you in such a woman.
We ask Allah to set straight our affairs and the affairs of all the Muslims.