When Does The 'iddah In The Case Of Revocable Divorce End? Is It When The Menstrual Bleeding Ceases And The Woman Sees The Tuhr (White Discharge Signalling The End Of Menses), Or Is It Essential For Her To Do Ghusl?
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I asked for a divorce (talaaq) through the court because of harm – by way of
beating, humiliation and shorcomings (on my husband's part). I stayed in my
family's home for several months, and my ex-husband did not come to try to
discuss the issue with my family, and he did not send anyone to try and bring
about reconciliation. I refused to go back to him without him discussing the
issue with my family and giving me a promise that he would not beat me. But he
refused to discuss the issue with my family, and the court ruled that I should
be granted a divorce because of harm. They asked me if I wanted to give up my
financial rights, but I refused to give them up. The divorce given was one
talaaq (revocable divorce), and he gave me the delayed portion of the mahr and
maintenance during the 'iddah period.
My question is: is this regarded as a talaaq or khula', because I am the one who
asked for the divorce? And how long is the 'iddah period? During the 'iddah
period, am I obliged to stay in the marital home? I cannot stay with him,
because I do not want him and he does not want me. And my family will never
agree to that, because he humiliated me and them. If I go back to him I am
afraid that he may beat me severely. Is what I am doing haraam, by spending the
'iddah period in my family's home? I hope you can advise me.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
If the court has issued a verdict of divorce because of the harm done to you,
and one revocable talaaq has been issued to you, as you say, then this is talaaq
and not khula', and the ruling is not affected by the fact that you are the one
who asked for divorce.
Secondly:
The basic principle is that the divorced woman should observe 'iddah in her
husband's house, as Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"O Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)! When you divorce women,
divorce them at their 'Iddah (prescribed periods), and count (accurately) their
'Iddah (periods ). And fear Allah your Lord (O Muslims), and turn them not out
of their (husbands') homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case
they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set
limits of Allah. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allah, then indeed
he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be
that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back
to you if that was the first or second divorce)"
[at-Talaaq 65:1].
But if she is afraid that by observing 'iddah in her husband's house she will
definitely be subjected to harm, it is permissible for her to observe 'iddah in
her family's home.
Al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"and turn them not out of their (husbands') homes" means: the husband does not
have the right to turn her out of the marital home so long as she is still
observing 'iddah, and it is not permissible for her either to leave, because of
the husband's rights, except in the case of clear necessity. If she leaves, she
is sinning, but the 'iddah is not interrupted. This applies equally to both
revocably and irrevocably divorced women, and is ordained in order to protect
the man's sperm [from being confused with that of a subsequent husband, if the
woman were to remarry soon and pregnant]. End quote.
It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah (20/224): With regard to the verse in
which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): "and turn
them not out of their (husbands') homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave,
except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse"
[at-Talaaq 65:1], if the woman leaves without her husband asking her to leave,
whether by hinting or a clear request, and without the husband's permission,
what is the ruling on that? The talaaq is complete and all that remains is the
'iddah.
Answer:
The woman in 'iddah following a revocable talaaq is sinning if she leaves the
husband's house without him asking her to leave, unless she left because of
necessity or need which made it permissible for her to do that. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The woman who has been
revocably divorced must remain in her husband's house, and it is haraam for her
husband to turn her out of the house because Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning): "and turn them not out of their (husbands')
homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some
open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allah. And
whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allah, then indeed he has wronged
himself" [at-Talaaq 65:1]. What the people do nowadays, whereby if a woman is
revocably divorced she goes immediately to her family's home, is wrong and is
haraam, because Allah says "and turn them not out… nor shall they (themselves)
leave", and He made no exceptions from that, unless she has committed open
illegal sexual intercourse, then He says after that: "And those are the set
limits of Allah. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allah, then indeed
he has wronged himself" [at-Talaaq 65:1]. Then He explains the wisdom behind
obliging her to remain in her husband's house, as He says: You (the one who
divorces his wife) know not, it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new
thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second
divorce)" [at-Talaaq 65:1].
The Muslims must pay attention to the limits set by Allah and adhere to what
Allah has enjoined upon them, and they should not take traditions and customs as
a means of going against the injunctions of sharee'ah.
The point is that we must pay attention to this matter and remember that the
woman who is revocably divorced is obliged to remain in her husband's house
until the end of her 'iddah. In this case, whilst she is staying in her
husband's house, she may uncover herself in front of him, adorn herself,
beautify herself, put on perfume, speak to him, and he may speak to her, and she
may sit with him and do everything except intimacy or intercourse, which may
only take place in the case of him taking her back. He may take her back
verbally, so he may say, "I am taking back my wife", or he may take her back by
his actions, by having intercourse with her, with the intention of taking her
back. End quote from Fataawa Islamiyyah.
We have stated that this moving of the woman from her husband's home, during her
'iddah, even though it is prohibited in principle, it may be permitted in the
case of necessity or if there is a reason which dictates that she should leave
the marital home.
Abu'l-Waleed al-Baaji (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Al-Qaadi Abu Muhammad said: If there is a great deal of such misconduct and
trouble between them, and there is no hope of them reconciling, then the woman
may move to some other abode.
Then he said, after referring to some of what had been said about the reasons
why a woman may move from her husband's home:
All of these opinions indicate that it is not permissible for her to move
without good reason, although they differed as to the definition of such
reasons. And Allah knows best and is most wise.
End quote from al-Muntaqa Sharh al-Muwatta'.
Based on that, if you are afraid that your husband will beat you and harm you if
you observe your 'iddah in his house, then it is permissible for you to observe
'iddah in your family's home.
And Allah knows best.
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