Regret: The Most Important Aspect Of Repentance
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I have decided to repent, because I have given up sin and decided not to go back
to it. But I do not feel any regret in my heart. How can I attain regret, as it
is difficult to achieve, because regret is not an action, and is not possible,
because it is a reaction, not an action, and reactions are not voluntary. So why
is it important to feel regret , when it is not an action that a person can do
(it is just a feeling), and he is not able to do that? Should I pray to Allah to
instil regret in my heart?
Praise be to Allah.
The conditions of valid repentance are as follows:
Giving up the sin
Regretting what one has done in the past
Resolving not to go back to it.
If the sin involved transgressing against people's wealth, honour or lives, then
there is a fourth condition, which is seeking forgiveness from the person who
was wronged, or giving him his dues.
For more information on repentance and its conditions, please see the answers to
questions no. 13990 and 182767.
Regret is a main condition, or the greatest aspect, of repentance. Hence the
Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Regret is
repentance." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.
One of the scholars even said:
Regret is sufficient to achieve repentance, for it implies giving up the sin and
resolving not to go back to it, which stem from regret and do not occur
independently of it
See: Fath al-Baari (13/471).
Al-Qaari (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Regret is repentance": because this will lead to the other essential components
of repentance – namely giving up the sin and resolving not to go back to it, and
restoring people's rights wherever possible.… What is meant is remorse for
having committed the sin because it is a sin, and for no other reason.
End quote from Mirqaat al-Mafaateeh (4/1637).
What is meant by regret (nadam) is sorrow, or deep sorrow, as is stated in
Lisaan al-'Arab (1/79, 6/4386).
The author explained regret as meaning sadness, then explained sadness as
meaning sorrow or extreme sorrow.
In the words of al-Qaari quoted above, he explains regret as meaning remorse –
that is, sorrow – for having committed the sin because it is a sin, and for no
other reason.
What this means is that everyone who feels sorrow for having committed a sin has
attained the regret that is referred to in the case of repentance. If this
regret is sincere, then the sinner will give up the sin and will resolve not to
do it again. Thus his repentance will be complete and will have met all the
necessary conditions.
Based on that, everyone who gives up a sin because it is disobedience to Allah,
may He be exalted – in other words, out of fear of Allah and in obedience to Him
– and hates the fact that he fell into sin and disobeyed the Lord of the Worlds,
and wishes that he had obeyed Allah instead of disobeying Him, and resolves not
to do it again, has definitely attained regret, and regret is what made him give
up the sin.
Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Ihyaa' 'Uloom ad-Deen (4/4):
Repentance is something that evolves from one stage to another in three stages:
knowledge, awareness and action. Knowledge is the first, awareness is the second
and action is the third.
The first leads to the second, and the second leads to the third in an
inevitable sequence as ordained by Allah.
As for knowledge, it means coming to know of the great harm that sins may cause
and the fact that sins form a barrier between a person and everything that he
loves and aspires for.
Once he becomes certain of this knowledge at a level of certainty that
overwhelms him, there will result from this knowledge remorse and pain in the
heart for missing out on what he loves and aspires to, because when the heart
realises what he has missed out on of what he loves, there will be pain. If his
missing out on it was the result of some deed that he did, then he will feel
sorrow for doing the deed that caused him to miss out on that. This pain is
called regret.
Once this pain becomes so intense that it overwhelms the heart, it will lead to
another emotion in the heart, which is called resolution and the will to do
something that is connected to the present, the past and the future.
With regard to the present, he will resolve to give up this sin that he was
committing.
With regard to the future, he will resolve to refrain for the rest of his life
from that sin that caused him to miss out on what he loves and aspires to.
With regard to the past, he will resolve to rectify the situation and make up
for what he missed out on, if it can be rectified.
… Knowledge, regret and resolution have to do with keeping away from sin now and
in the future, and rectifying what happened in the past, and all of that
together is called repentance (tawbah).
The word repentance is often used to refer to regret only, and awareness and
knowledge are regarded as precursors, whilst giving up the sin is regarded as
being the result and outcome. Based on that, we may understand what the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) meant when he said: "Regret is
repentance," because regret cannot take place unless one attains knowledge that
leads to it, and it cannot but be followed by resolution, so regret has a
precursor and an outcome. End quote.
He also said (3/144):
If fear results from something that one did in the past, it will lead to regret,
and regret will lead to resolution. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "Regret is repentance." End quote.
Thus it becomes clear that your giving up the sin and resolving not to go back
to it are indicative of the occurrence of regret in your heart. So you should
ignore these whispers of the Shaytaan by means of which he wants to make you
think that you have not repented yet, or that repentance is impossible, or that
you will never be able to repent, which will create despair and hopelessness and
make you think that the gate of repentance is closed to you.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to protect us all from the accursed Shaytaan,
and to enable us to repent sincerely.
And Allah knows best.
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